She doesn't know
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 1:54 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:11 am
3039 Views
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Oh she doesn't even know what she does to me..
I go silent when she speaks to me..
I get butterflies all within me when she barely touches me..
I tremble as she walks by me..
Oh what she does to me..
When she looks at me I fall so easily..
When she kisses me I lose all thats around me..
When she makes love to me I feel I've found eternity..
Oh what she does to me..
When she smiles at me I forget everything so suddenly..
When she whispers to me I get weak in the knees..
When I lay my head upon her and hear the beat of her heart I melt away..
Oh what she does to me..
She doesn't even know what she does to me..
She doesn't know how she comforts me..
She doesn't know how she surrounds my every thought..
She doesn't know how her embrace feels so wonderfully to me..
Oh she doesn't know what she does to me..
Shall I tell her?
Shall I speak these thoughtful words that lay rest within my head?
Shall I show her with my body how it makes me feel?
Shall I look deeply into her eyes so lovingly?
Oh she doesn't know..
Does it show?
Can she feel it?
Can she tell?
Oh she doesn't know what she does to me..
I sit so faithfully..
I wait so loyally..
Does she know I'd wait an eternity?
Does she know I'd still love her even in death?
Does she know I'd still love her if she went with another?
Does she know?
Does she know I will always love her?
Does she know that she is my starcrossed lover?
Does she know I'll never forget her?
Oh what she does to me..
Its so much more than some epiphany..
Its much more than an eternity..
Its much more than the eye can see..
With her I feel serenity..
With her I feel eternity..
With her I feel so completely..
With her I feel everything..
Oh she doesn't know what she does to me..
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And the torment continues
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 1:52 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:11 am
3041 Views
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Again a few days later we're back spending time together once again and of course as usual I'm dying to have her touch me once more. This time we're staying over at her dad's girlfriend's house since we need to be up early and ready to go with them in the morning. We exchange glances all through the night even slight brushes against one another to show some interest I guess. Then comes the nightly routine of finding ways for her to touch me again. This time we check one another for break outs from the days sweat filled day. It had be extremely hot this day so there was bound to be something so it was an even more profitable excuse to go for it.
We sit in this little bedroom together her laid out on the bed on her stomach with me leaned over her and she has her pants and underwear pulled down so that I may check her rear for whatevers popped up. I don't find much but I keep on poking and prodding, groping, scratching at her cheeks anything to touch her. All the while I breathe heavily in and out letting out little sighs as I am entranced by how her ass cheeks move with every touch. Eventually I give in and give up because I can only do so much before she notices what I'm really doing this for. She then sits up and tells me 'I need you to look at my back too, I think I may be peeling..' This notion I know to well because she had been a little burnt from the sun the other day. I gladly oblige her with this request and she removes her shirt.
I lean in and examine her back lightly brushing my finger tips all over it lightly scratching across her skin feeling every single inch of it from top to bottom.. Oh how smooth and soft she feels to my finger tips. All I could think was of myself kissing all over her back like I once did in the past. Tasting every single silky inch of it feeling the curves within it with my tongue and my lips. Making my way feverishly to her sides and hips. But all this moment was was a thought of the past and what I'd of like to have been doing at that moment. Again I breathe heavily as I continue on with what I had been told to do all the while paying some attention to the slight smirk upon her face.. Oh she knew.. She knew all to well what this was doing to me.
Next it was my turn for her to inspect me, to feel me, to touch me. I insisted this time for her to check out my back and my ass.. Oh no matter how painful it was to feel her poke at me or squeeze at me I could not help but still be turned on by the fact that she was still touching me. And every slight movement she moved across my skin in between all I could do was groan and cling onto that small framed bed for my last breath was giving way within every touch she gave me so I had to hold onto some sort of ground to keep me from falling over. She then insisted upon checking out my face to see the damage from the day and I had prepared to roll over and let her lean over me while I reached around and grabbed a hold of her to pull her in close so that I may kiss her upon those sweet lips I had been craving for so long, but the she abruptly left me to use the restroom. Leaving me with my thoughts of bewilderment and disappointment that I couldn't follow through in the actions I had planned out so well in my head while she was tending to my backside. I took this as a sign that she wanted to stop so I left the room and went into the kitchen for whatever reason to find her there.
She explained that she didn't mean to rush off but that she did have to use the rest room. All this with a smile and that fiery look she gets in her dark eyes. I couldn't help but want to melt away in that moment as she stared me down as I waited for the words to come to my lips or for my mind to find those lost words that I meant to say. After a moment of silence and steadying myself on my feet I then say to her with a smirk 'you said you were going to do my face too ya know..' she looked at me funny at first then said ok. She stood before me and started to work upon my face, stroking it, squeezing it, feeling it.. I could not help but tremble a little and get weak at her caresses.. My knees became weak so I grabbed a hold of her hip with one hand holding tightly. All the while still attempting to make it clear that I wanted to stare upon those fiery eyes once more.
I continue to hold onto her as she giggles over how tightly I've clung to her and she asks wondering why I'm doing this but I can not seem to find the words once more so I just stare and cling to her like I would fall away if she were to walk away. She finishes with my face and in that brief moment we stop and stare at one another, my hand on her hip still her smiling, both of us having that look of desire. But yet even with that moment we still found ourselves breaking away from one another. Finding myself once again in disappointment, arguing with myself in my head knowing what I should've said, what I should've done.
We say our good nights and I leave her to lay upon that small twin sized bed in the room away from her. I lay there with the tv playing some sort of cartoons and I think while staring up at the ceiling of how she felt against me, how close we came this night, how badly I wanted to kiss her lips and pull her to me.. So many things running through my head at that moment it was insanity. I then start to think once more of what I wanted to do with her. I began to think of kissing her, touching her, tasting her in every way and every place possible.. I started imagining her sounds when in ecstasy, the moans, the groans, the growls, the looks upon her face in every lasting moment of sexual bliss.
Eventually finding myself once again with my fingers sliding beneath my shorts to find my inner most sensitive spot. To find the wetness she had released upon me from all the caressing and all of her intense looks upon me. I could not help but circle around myself in the wetness and imagine her tongue upon me making me wetter by the second. I kept imagining her finger tips running across my bare skin, her lips kissing my stomach, my thighs and my lips. I could not help but make myself begin to beg for more of her touch while I touched upon myself. I could not bear to be the one to send myself over the edge.. I could not bear it not being her touch. No matter how feverishly I worked and worked and worked at it to send my self over the edge I could not seem to break past that point. Why? Because I knew it was not her. Because I needed her touch. Because I wanted her touch so badly that my own I despised so badly. I fought myself over and over again in this moment.. So I stopped, my fingers drenched from the wetness, my brow soaked from the sweat of my desires, and my mind distressed with the fact that she sat in the other room untouchable..
I had to find a reason, had to find something to get me to be able to go and be near her once more. Just then the power went out from the heavy rains pouring down outside. Shutting everything down for a moment.. Enough of a reason to go check on her and have a good enough excuse to see her once more. I take a breath grab a pillow and walk out the door to see her once more. Nearly tripping and dropping the pillow I stumble into the living room to check on her. I ask 'did the power just go out' she tells me something but I'm so far gone in my fantasy that all I could do is stare and nod. I then make up the silly excuse to see if she needed an extra pillow to get even closer to her but sadly she declined. So again in disappointment I say my goodnight and trip over myself to head back to my solitary confinement of a room. Again I lay back trying to find myself but decide this time around that it' best left up to my dreams. I slowly fall into my deep sleep once more reaching out holding onto whatever I can cling to as I delve into the world once more that she consumes me in. Again I find myself falling back into this dream of her and I and of all the dirty things that will come to mind.
She may not be mine in reality but within my dreams she is truly my ultimate fantasy...
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Tormented Dreams
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 1:51 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:11 am
3097 Views
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So I sit here days later in 'her' bedroom, the one that once was 'our' bedroom, as she readies herself to get into the bath tub to clean the days dirt and grime off of her. She says 'You can sit with me if you'd like' she smiles so sweetly at me after saying this almost knowingly inviting me into torment. I sit there upon the bathroom counter squirming around as she lays back and soaks herself deep into the hot water of the tub. I can not help but stare upon her beautiful body, can not help that it still makes me ache each time that I see her like this see her movements see her caresses of her own body. It kills me in this way that I can not touch her the way I'd love to touch her. So I sit there silently gazing upon this incredible body that’s laid out before me sliding in and out of this water.. With my body begging and pleading with me almost crying out even.. I know she hears the soft sound coming up and out my lungs through to my lips in quiet moans of enjoyment as I watch her. All she does is smile and laugh softly at this torment she knows I'm putting myself through.
It finally comes time for her to exit her bath and dry off, she still smiling slowly dries her body with this towel.. OH! How I wish I could be this towel right at this very moment.. The way it follows her curves, the way it touches, strokes even the most delicate parts of her body.. Oh how I would give anything for me to switch places with this towel and again I know she can hear the soft cries out and the heavy breathing escaping my poor untouched lips.. She smiles and laughs again all to knowing of what shes doing to me in this moment. Knowing its time to make my way out of there I quickly hop off nearly into her and stumbling through the bathroom almost as if to escape my own unfulfilled fantasies within my head. But yet I still find myself stopping just after the doors and turning to look back upon her as she dresses and sigh softly as I watch her bend over, to stretch out, to slide these pieces of clothing on to cover herself. Again I find myself daydreaming, fantasizing even of touching, kissing, biting, licking every single last inch of her body. Envisioning being beside her inside of her entranced by her sounds her movements.. Oh what I wouldn't give to go deep within her once more and over and over again..
I sigh turning away and sitting down upon 'her' bed awaiting her to watch some tv with me. And this whole time I await her in bed I keep running over all the things I want to do to her, beg to do to her, plead to do to her... Its become a serious instinctive torture I bring upon myself all knowing that it will not happen at least not any time soon. She lays beside me and I think to myself 'what can I ask her to do to me to get her to touch me again? What can I ask her to let me do to her so she may let me touch her again?'. I stare at her contemplating what I can or can not say to see how far she will let me go this time... I ask her for a back rub yes! That's it! I say within my head getting excited. 'Hey hun do you mind rubbing my back for me its killing me' She gives me this discontent look not really wanting to do it but yet she still agrees. I find myself half naked upon the bed my shorts pulled down to show the top of my ass as she straddles over top of me working her fingers hard against my tender skin, my sensitive skin.. I find myself so incredibly aroused by this I am unable to keep some of the moans down and I claw upon myself and the bed to try and keep myself from falling over the edge of myself.
I can almost be sure she knows what I'm feeling.. Who couldn't tell? Was it not obvious enough that I was enjoying this more and more with every gentle, every rough touch she laid upon my sore back? She finishes and I arise soaked between my thighs and lips from her touch only begging for more.. I offer to groom her, pick at her, pluck at her, anything to have her let me touch her in some way. I realize as I start to slide between her legs to pick at her hairs that this is all I can have right now that this can not go any further than this that tonight is not the night.. I sigh and finish what she likes having done to her only to still be begging for more touching caressing and so much more.. I stop myself and tell her I must leave and bid her goodnight.
I rush off to 'my bed' to find myself alone upon it staring up at the ceiling day dreaming once more.. I find myself sliding my shorts down slightly as I slide my hand down over the curves of my stomach, my hips, my pelvis all until I reach that wetness.. I find my spot circling around it over and over again as I close my eyes and drift into that fantasy, that reoccurring dream I keep having. This has been my dream for days now since we'd split up.. I'm laying half asleep in bed and I can feel her crawl up underneath my covers slowly sliding her way up to me pushing me to my back as she slides over top of me. She runs her hands up my stomach, up over my chest to my throat and my shoulder. She speaks softly yet demandingly 'You want my pussy?' I whimper and nod my head agreeing. She asks again, wanting, needing me to say it 'Do you want my pussy?' She starts grinding, riding upon me making me want to beg for more so I whisper in return 'Yes, I want your fucking pussy!' She giggles continuing as she's doing getting me worked up, getting me wetter, harder even. She grabs my hands and holds them down above my head as she continues to rock on top of me, tormenting me making me want her all the more. She speaks in a soft growl to me 'Well.. Then you are going to have to work for it.. Beg me for it..' She leans in and kisses me hard making me swallow her tongue her sweetness her everything all at once. Breaking away she smiles putting all of her weight into grinding upon me, making me squirm and moan softly.. I say growling lowly 'Baby, your killing me...' She laughs as she leans back in to whisper into my ear 'Beg for my pussy..' She nips my ear and works her way down my neck, biting, kissing, licking, sucking.. Everything driving me wild, driving me to a point of insanity... My voice cracking as I get louder with my words 'I want your fucking pussy! Let me fuck you now!' She sits up looking at me with that fire in her eyes and that smirk that kills me every time.. 'Ah ah no you keep begging..' She takes her free hand and slides it down my chest playing with my nipple rings flicking them tugging them, sliding further down caressing my side on down to my partially exposed hip she softly takes her finger tips and caresses it knowing it drives me wild...
'Damn it!' I cry out in panic needing her all the more, wanting her her so badly.. 'I'm going to FUCK you!' My voices peaks at the word as I raise my voice. Again she laughs and continues on to torment me with her touches and kisses upon my body. She then slides back a lil still holding me down with on hand as I squirm around she slides her free hand down under my shorts to caress me further into an insanity that I can not bear. She finds my wetness and circles around my clit making me beyond a hardness I could ever imagine. This was it. This was enough.. 'I'm going to FUCK YOU!' I scream out as I push her hand off of me and grab ahold of her flipping her up and over onto her back holding her pinned down to my bed.. 'I'm not waiting any longer..' I growl at her 'You've toyed with me for to long now.. Now it's your turn to beg me to stop!' I spread her legs open sliding my fingers into her slow to start, watching her as she squirms beneath me and moans softly. I can not help but to pick up my pace quicker than I had expected but I could not hold myself back for any longer. I needed to fuck her. I needed to feel her clench onto my hand. I needed her to cum for me. I needed her to beg me to keep going. I needed her. I really needed her. I rammed my fingers into her faster harder with each stroke begging for her to release upon me.. Then I awaken..
Still envisioning this over and over in my mind the feeling over her swallowing my fingers deep within her, the sounds that esacpe her lips, I continue to circle my finger around my clit getting it to that breaking point of release.. I picture her cumming all over me, her screaming out my name, and I let go.. I cry out over and over again.. Releasing the great deal of tension from the torment I received this evening from her. Kind of hoping that she may hear my cries of passion spread through out this trailer. Softly sighing I turn over staring at the screen of my computer I click upon her picture and star at it for a long while before I finally start to drift off back into my dream in hopes of finishing it this time. I close out of the picture of her and I fall soundly asleep to be whisked off into my fantasies of us once again. Until the next time I beg for more...
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Waiting for you
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 1:50 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:11 am
2995 Views
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We had a love once that we both once thought nothing or no one even would ever tear apart.. It was me who made things turn so badly. All my thoughts, my fears, my insecurities, my jealousy, it wore her down and tore us completely apart. She lost her love for me because of what I came to be. My guilt daily overwhelms me along with the everlasting love and adoration I still have for her. I still believe that she is my world, the one I want to marry, the one who fills the hole thats deep within my soul. She truly is my everything and so much more. Each passing day I stand by ready and waiting for her love to return only to cry at night and in my head the more I see her happily without me and moving on to others.. I cheer her on when deep inside I feel she sould be mine still, She talks of other women to me and all I can do is fight back the tears and the pain and hold a smile and laugh every day. She doesn't know the way it kills me when she speaks of them this way and not me, she doesn't know how much it hurts to know shes not with me, she doesn't know how much I still love her, she doesn't know how much I would give up for her, she doesn't know what all I would do just to have her once again. My love has never failed when it came to her, I always felt the urge to run from it but I never fell out of love for her not one single time. Even now when I cry I keep crying out how I love her and why can't she see it.. Doesn't she know I mean it when I say that I will always love her? That I will always be there for her? Does she know how much it hurts me to see her go? Does she know how much it pains me to see her speak to these other women the way she does? Does she know that I still think of her every day and ever night? I don't want to be 'just a friend' I want to be her friend, her lover, her world, her everything, her wife. In this life without her I have seen me and all that I did wrong and all I should've done or could've done but didn't or wasn't.. I hate who I am and I hate how it feels to be without her. Its tearing me apart through and through that we are through.. It tears me apart knowing she does not care for me the way that I do her. She doesn't know all these changes I've made are for her, all the things that I once did before are fading slowly from me and I'm doing all that I can to be the better woman so that she may love me once again. All I can do is wait.. Wait for her love.. Wait for her to say stay.. Wait for her to say marry me.. Wait for her to say be mine for all of time.. Wait for the love we once had to come back again.. I still want all the same things I once did before, her love, her hand, our own family, a home to call our own, a love that stands unbreakable by time by different situations by people and so many other things that may try and come between us.. She is my best friend and I will always love her without end.. I will not bend.. I will not break.. I will not fake.. I will not be who I once turned into.. I'm letting go, giving in, making the changes, fixing who I am, fixing all that had gone wrong, letting go of the past, letting go of everything I once knew, becoming what I should've been, doing what I should've done, saying all that I should've said, being everything she wanted me to be and then some.. But all I can do is hope and wait for her.. Longing for one more touch, one more kiss, one more hug, one more I love you.. Waiting for her to say you are the only one..
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Within Dreams
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 1:49 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:11 am
3012 Views
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Again this dark haired goddess haunts my dreams... She embraces my softly with her loving arms. She tells me of her thoughts of me and how she can not be with out me in her arms. I just close my eyes and wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. I briefly sigh in ecstatic release. I can not bear the thought of her not being by my side through the night. She comforts me so I can slowly drift off in her arms only to awake in my empty bed in my never-ending darkened room. It was only but a dream. Friends first she tells me, yet I can not bear to think of her in any other form than my love. Silently I wait for her to respond to my charms but to no avail. I send her many letters of love and my thoughts to no response. Each day I wonder more and more if she will be capable enough of loving me just the same.
No sooner I think these thoughts of love the dreams come once again or at least I feel as though they are dreams. She embraces me once again and tells me in soft whispers of her love. I smile and take in her soft sweet kisses like candy. I realize that this is no dream but reality. I run my hand through her hair and look into her eyes dreamily and tell her of my love in the form of soft whispering words. She smiles looking into my eyes deeply with that knowing look. She pulls me in tighter and holds me close to her heart, she whispers into my ear speaking of her love for being free and wandering all around. I am taken aback for I was under the assumption she only wanted to stay beside me. But I only sigh and relax into her arms as if I were but water, fluid, drained, she attempts to comfort me. I attempt to gather myself once again to continue this feeling I have for her, but these thought of her running away keep haunting me. I pretend although fully distraught to keep this loving feeling until she breaks free from my enclosed arms.
The next day I make my loving glances to her and she shy’s away and keeps her eyes from me. She tells me later she feels uncomfortable when I look at her this way. I keep the thoughts of the day before her loving embrace, her soft kisses, and her whispered words of love. It kills me to know that I can not make her feel the same. I think it must be because of her wandering ways that she keeps her feelings hidden. But yet I sit I wait and watch over her for anything she may need or want from me. I jump at any chance she may give me to be close or do anything for her. Just for the fleeting chance to touch her if even for a minor second. I thrive on these small instances.
Once again I find myself alone in my darkness. I slowly start to drift off with thoughts of her upon my mind. Then I hear a soft creaking down the stairs coming closer to me. With sleepily filled eyes I turn over to look behind me to find her kneeling to lay beside me. She embraces me gently and kisses my cheek. I turn over to face away and she kisses down the nape of my neck and holds me tighter to her body. I feel the heat rising slowly between us as she kisses around the side of my neck. I want to break free for fear of her leaving me again in this position but yet I can not bear to be without her soft touches and sweet kisses upon me. I turn over to face her, I lean in close and brush through her black as night hair with my hand and kiss her sweet red lips gently. I breathe in the soft fruity scent she gives off and close my eyes as I kiss her lips with a bit more fierceness. She accepts my advances and lays back upon my bed. Again I awake alone just another fiendish dream to keep me wanting and wait for her. I paw into the darkness to feel for her but only find dead air and the unused pillow beside me. I sigh and pull the other pillow close and hold it to my heart and toss and turn with it until I drift back off to my never-ending dreams of her...
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Wanting
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Posted:Oct 18, 2012 1:48 pm
Last Updated:May 12, 2024 10:11 am
3007 Views
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Every day I sit waiting watching hoping even to see if she feels the spark that I do. I feel enticed with every movement she makes and its come to that unbearable point once again. I can not help but want every inch of her body, to feel it to have it against me to have her touch me back.. Oh it drives me insane holding back so much arousal each day that passed by. It feels as though sometimes my clit may want to fly off of my body in meer excitement over the need for her touch. I don't know what is wrong nor do I know what to do to make her want me as much as she once did when we first sought eyes upon one another. I still have the same ache in my body as I began with when I met her but yet she does not. What must I do to intrigue her interest, what must I do to receive that passion once more, what must I do to make her want me once more.. I am at a loss.
Daily I watch her move ever so slighty in my mind even its as if every movement is within slow motion .. I see her bend see her twist see each curve from her breasts to her buttocks nearly break free from the clothes that bind to her. I can not help but want to grab at her, slid my fingers all over ever bit of any exposed skin, and want to tear those confining; conservative clothes apart and away from her body to feel every bit of her incredible skin. Oh to put my lips and tongue upon her breasts, her stomach, her sides, and her clit.. The very thought of doing so makes me quiver and ache in anticipation. I can't help but to want to kneel before her and beg for her touch again, for her same passion once more.
Oh it all makes me ache to my very core.. I can not help but want her more and more..
Although my mind is set upon her I know I mustn't overwhelm her or I won't have her anymore. I have to face the facts its not the same anymore and the one that I adore just doesn't feel it anymore. With her permission I must fulfill those needs in other ways even if it bothers me in so many ways. I will always feel this great deal of guilt and shame over what I must do because its not what I am used to and not what a partner should ever do to their spouse. To sleep with another it seems unjustified in every way even if it is to fulfill my own needs. It seems so selfish and so wrong on so many levels. And she wonders why I look so down or upset anymore and its because I feel as though I am wronging her in every way and can not stop myself from my thoughts or actions.
What do you do when your given a chance to fulfill your needs outside of your home with your spouse's permission? Do you follow through? Do you stick things out? Do you go on and do it and feel the guilt and shame of it? Do you stick it through and always feel somethings missing in it? I don't know what to do or which way to turn anymore. It kills me knowing I am at a state like this and that I'm even considering doing something as selfish and unforgiving as this. I just don't understand it yet I can not control it in any way..
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