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Blogs > rm_BBW4BIGC1985 > My Stories

Wanting  

rm_BBW4BIGC1985 39F
1 posts
10/18/2012 1:48 pm
Wanting

Every day I sit waiting watching hoping even to see if she feels the spark that I do. I feel enticed with every movement she makes and its come to that unbearable point once again. I can not help but want every inch of her body, to feel it to have it against me to have her touch me back.. Oh it drives me insane holding back so much arousal each day that passed by. It feels as though sometimes my clit may want to fly off of my body in meer excitement over the need for her touch. I don't know what is wrong nor do I know what to do to make her want me as much as she once did when we first sought eyes upon one another. I still have the same ache in my body as I began with when I met her but yet she does not. What must I do to intrigue her interest, what must I do to receive that passion once more, what must I do to make her want me once more.. I am at a loss.

Daily I watch her move ever so slighty in my mind even its as if every movement is within slow motion .. I see her bend see her twist see each curve from her breasts to her buttocks nearly break free from the clothes that bind to her. I can not help but want to grab at her, slid my fingers all over ever bit of any exposed skin, and want to tear those confining; conservative clothes apart and away from her body to feel every bit of her incredible skin. Oh to put my lips and tongue upon her breasts, her stomach, her sides, and her clit.. The very thought of doing so makes me quiver and ache in anticipation. I can't help but to want to kneel before her and beg for her touch again, for her same passion once more.

Oh it all makes me ache to my very core.. I can not help but want her more and more..

Although my mind is set upon her I know I mustn't overwhelm her or I won't have her anymore. I have to face the facts its not the same anymore and the one that I adore just doesn't feel it anymore. With her permission I must fulfill those needs in other ways even if it bothers me in so many ways. I will always feel this great deal of guilt and shame over what I must do because its not what I am used to and not what a partner should ever do to their spouse. To sleep with another it seems unjustified in every way even if it is to fulfill my own needs. It seems so selfish and so wrong on so many levels. And she wonders why I look so down or upset anymore and its because I feel as though I am wronging her in every way and can not stop myself from my thoughts or actions.

What do you do when your given a chance to fulfill your needs outside of your home with your spouse's permission? Do you follow through? Do you stick things out? Do you go on and do it and feel the guilt and shame of it? Do you stick it through and always feel somethings missing in it? I don't know what to do or which way to turn anymore. It kills me knowing I am at a state like this and that I'm even considering doing something as selfish and unforgiving as this. I just don't understand it yet I can not control it in any way..

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