Bored...And What The Hell Is Wrong With Guyliner???
|
Posted:May 22, 2009 1:41 am
Last Updated:May 28, 2009 2:45 pm
5865 Views
|
Had to snag this fromDIrtyBostonGirls blog cause i thought it was cute...
1.Do you own a thong?
Yes a few,but usually dont wear any..
2.Do you own eyeliner?
WAY too many to count!
3.Do you own anything from Abercrombie?
Nope,dont like the store,lol
4.Do you own mascara?
Probably 3 or 4
5.Do you own a pair of ripped jeans?
YES and i love my holey jeans
6.Do you own perfumes?
About 4 different ones but not the 100 bucks a bottle ones,lol
7.Do you own a pink bra?
2 pink and one black lace one
8.Do you own fluffy slippers?
Just got an awesome pair from my Mom on Mothers Day
9.Does it take you more than hour to get ready?
Depends on where im going,lol..usually 30 mins or so
10.Have you ever had so much make up you didn't look like yourself?
Havent WORN so much that i didn't look like myself but i love makeup
and i have a ton,lol
11.Have you ever been to a female strip club?
No,but i think id like to
12.Have you ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
YES,unfortunately
13.Have you ever been so drunk you blacked out?
YES,way too many times
14.Have you kissed someone of the same sex?
Yep
15.Have you ever had sex in a park?
Yes many many times,lol.
16.Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
No,but i have at a drive in
17.Have you ever had sex in a bathroom?
Yes and it was pretty damn cool
18.Have you ever had sex in a school?
Nope
19.Have you ever received oral sex?
Hehehe,,,yes
20.Have you ever given oral sex?
Of course
21.Have you ever had a threesome?
Long time ago with two guys
22.Are your breasts real?
Hehehe..omg yes,i sooo missed the titty train
23.Where were you when you had the best sex ever?
At the ocean in Galveston
24.Have you ever used Viagra?
Well,considering im a girl,lol..NO,but the bf has and i got
pissed off,lol
25.Would you rather give or receive oral sex?
Receive surely,but giving it is awesome too
26.when did you have your first real kiss?
11
27.How old were you when you first had sex?
14
28.partners have you had?
Realtionship wise..3
29.One Night Stands?
ah,yea and im not proud of them,lol cept for one long haired
cutie pie,lol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was reading the news on americaonline and they had an article
bout why Adam lost Idol...and said that the eyeliner thing was a
big deal in why he lost.God..ive ALWAYS thought eyeliner on a guy
looks sexy as hell.I even loved it when DC wore it a few times
last year and in PGH...omg yes...lol.Course back in the 80s some
of the guys simply went tooooo far with makeup...i dont like that
on a guy,but 'guyliner' is a big turn on.I asked Tim a good while
back if he ever would wear some for me and he said HELL no,lol,so
im outta luck there.But i do find it extremely sexy on most guys.
Im really pissed again...not about Idol(im over that i think,lol)
but My name is Earl is gonna be cancelled.That was my second fave
show besides House dammit.How am i gonna get my Jason Lee fix now?
Good thing i have the first few seasons on DVD,and cant wait to
get this season,it was probably the funniest since season 1.There
was some talk about another network picking it up,that would be
cool,but im not holding my breath,lol.But damm i hate it when you
get into a show and it ends up cancelled.I member watching a few
episodes of My Own Worst Enemy with Christian Slater and while it
was odd,i think hes sexy as hell and i liked the show and it was
cancelled long ago.Omg...i still think House is sexy,i hope that
that doesnt jinx the show..hehe
Ah,man...i didnt hear the Ups guy today and missed getting my lap
top adapter,pissed me off too.Then i look out my back door when i
left today and had a note from my landlord asking me to call them.
I dont know what the hell that is about,but if its an inspection
thing im going to fly off the handle,unless they give me a few days to get rid of clutter.iM NOT the worlds best housekeeper,lol
and with my back its hard to keep up a few times a week,let alone
every day.Should friggin call them now at 4:20 and wake their ass
up and see what they wanted.Cant be the rent because ive never
missed a month ever.In fact i was going to go tomorrow and pay a
week and a half early,lol.Not gonna do that now.Im thinking that
its either because of my ASSHOLE neighbors who have the same land
lord,were on MY front porch roof directly in front of my bedroom
and carrying on and knocking on my window...i put up a NO Tresspa
ssing sign to stay off my roof unless theres an emergency or some
such shit.I should have called the police because they are into
some shady shit and while i dont want involved with that--i dont
want my landlord taking shit out on me when i didnt do anything
wrong.Very frustrating ill tell you.Makes me think about moving in
with Tim look better,lol.Or that they want to do an extermination
even though ive never seen a bug in my house,either way its a huge
pain in the ass.
I just dont want bothered to be honest.I have too much to do over
the weekend as it is and i dont have time to clean and clear out
everything--i actually cant lift things at all,with my back.But i
cant be home more than a few minutes here and there,what with seeing my gram and grocery shopping and its a holiday weekend and
shit,i just dont want to deal with them this week.Hell i doubt they would ever throw me out,im probably the only tenant that does
pay rent on time all the time,and ive not asked them to fix my sink or my furnace-did those myself.I dont know...im not gonna
think about that right now.
I better get off here,almost time to get the kiddos up and i need
to get a shower and all that crap too.
Pic..Jason Lee and holy hell i think im in lust again..lol
Please be safe this holiday weekend and remember our Veterans for
without them wed be in a shitty place even more so than we are.And
if your partying,well you know what im gonna say,please dont drink
and drive.
Have a great weekend guys and i love ya...
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
"Unfucking Unreal"
|
Posted:May 21, 2009 12:14 am
Last Updated:May 26, 2009 1:20 pm
5395 Views
|
Ok...soooo No this years Idol didnt mean as much to me as last yrs
did,evidenced by my DC love,but Adam was robbed.I was shocked that
Adam lost,although as many people said that his being gay was goin
to stop him from winning.You would think after years of fucking
gay bashing BS,that America just might get it right.But noooooooo
damn homophobes and religious conservative dicks who wouldnt know
good music if it kicked them in the ass-mustve voted in droves.Or
else it was a setup from the get go.Either way Adam IS a superstar
and Allen will be old news if his cd sells anywhere near 100,000
copies.In contrast DC's is over a million and still selling.
Highlight of the night for me,of course was Davids song for his
brother.The black armband made me cry before he even started to
sing.And you could see that David was close to tears himself.God
i love that guy(Gotta be my pic,lol).
Kiss and Adam was awesome...as was the last song with Allen,Adam
and members of Queen.
Allison and Cyndi Lauper was a bit strange for me,but i love her
voice so much i dont doubt that she'll have a big career..BIGGER
than Allens,lol.Course in my current frame of mind id have picked
Megan over Allen and i hated her..hehe
aghhh...im just frustrated that people are so frigging bigoted.
And i cant even say anything good about Allen because i never did
like him.Cant even bring myself to use his first name,lol.
Talked to my gram several times through the show and when it was
over,she said he was robbed and that she wanted to throw something
at the TV,lol.Shes doing really great by the way,in case i forget
to mention that.And TB-i told her what you said about her in my
blog and she thinks that you are a sweetheart...no argument from
me there because i adore you to pieces.
Im not gonna say too much more right now,nor am i gonna even read
the Idol sites and bloggers,im just that pissed,lol.I am done for
sure with Idol,i can have my Tuesdays and Wednesdays back,lol.
Methinks i need help,hehe being so pissed,but i am.Good thing is
that we will be seeing much much more of Adam in the future.
Damn Unhump Hump day anyways...lol
Pic...i had to,ya'll know that by now.But ill stop that soon..
Love ya guys
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
ADAM....all the way...
|
Posted:May 20, 2009 3:44 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2009 1:43 pm
5208 Views
|
Damn..i have very little time to do a proper post,lol..but i had to just say how frigging AWESOME Adam was last night,omg if he
doesnt win something is wrong,lol.My only lil complaint is that
until the 3rd song,he was less threatrical,lol.He did let it go on
the idiotic coronation song..omg he was so much better than Kris
on that one specifically.All in all,he was amazing and while i had
wanted a Danny/Adam finale...he still would have rolled over Danny
too.I did something that i only ever did once before,voted as long as i could.Course it took me over an hour and a half before i
even got ONE vote through,about 12:30 eastern time the lines were
a little easier to get in,still i think i only got 50 votes in.I
did that last year with my fave ever DC,and was able to get far
more than 50 votes in for him.Of course DC is my all time fave
Idol,but Adam is a close second.His Mad World was even better the
second time and i loved his second song,even though i had doubts
of him singing Patti Labelle.And the 3rd one..Kris couldnt hold a
candle to that one.Somehow i get the feeling and i dont like it..
that the homophobes and the ultrareligious voters voted for Kris..
as they would for anyone but the gay guy.I think thats total total
bullshit,i dont care if hes black,white,green,asexual,bisexual
gay or whatever,hes the best of the year and one of the best EVER
to come from Idol.I called my gram after each of his songs and she
loved them all,spoke with her at the end and she said that if Adam
doesnt win its a travesty.I was in the Idol chatroom for a lil bit
and most of the chatters were Adam fans,so that was cool.
I sooo soooo hope that he wins...if any of you have read about his
childhood,you would know how much this means to him.But ya know,in
reality,win or lose hes a superstar.And 'Guyliner' rocks!!
Im looking forward to seeing tonights show,really only for DC to
sing and Adam to win,lol.Ought to be a great show.
I have more to talk bout,lol...but im running very very late so i
will have to get on before Idol tonight.Did get to a few of your
blogs and i will do you all today.
Have a great hump day...hehe
Love ya guys...
GO ADAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
Bees,Men and Idol..lol
|
Posted:May 19, 2009 3:10 am
Last Updated:May 20, 2009 2:58 am
5552 Views
|
Aghh...i had to go and do it..lol..and put Adam as my background..
lol.It'll go back to DC later in the week,hehe.More about Idol
later,lol.
I HATE this damn computer.And i shouldnt,its brand new for Gods
sake but its just so different from my laptop that im not used to
it,dont have too many pics here,just crappy.And i wont even have
the damn adapter til after Idol ends so i cant bitch in the chat
room,lol.I have two PCs that i dont know whats wrong with them,but
i didnt get rid of them in case i can get em fixed or something.I
just dont like this one.
I got the ' stimulus checks Friday and i still havent made it
to the bank,lol.Bout the only good thing i can say about the exhub
is that he is a veteran and thats why we got the checks period.Now
if i can make it to the bank soon.Hopefully tomorrow when i get to
see my gram.I just didnt really want Tim to take me,but it looks
like he will be.I know it sounds shitty but i really never told him my income,because more than half the time i end up paying for
shit,and i have my own to worry about first,ya know?Not that
i dont care about him because i do very much,i just feel as though
i get taken advantage of a little bit.So ive finally learned to
keep quiet,lol.
Our weekend was a nice one,cool weather...did some gardening and
of course went to see my grandma and grandfather.She looked very
good,if they can only get that frigging feeding tube out,she will
feel so much better.I swear i must have went to 10 stores to find
her a pair of glasses that she could see out of,so now she can
read,she gets so bored being stuck in bed or in her chair.Finally
found a pair and THEN i went looking for the mag with Adam on it
for her,she really wanted it,i wasnt able to find it at all.Best i
could do was the TV guide with the Idol story.I member buying the
issue last year with DC on it,its still on my bedroom wall...hehe
im such a dummy.But now i can take her things to read and she wont
be down or bored.Least not as much as before anyways.She was in a
very good mood and it was nice to see her that way,im not sure if
they've given her something for anxiety or not,ill have to ask her
when i see her.I know one thing though...if she doesnt find a way
to either control my grandfather,or to not let him stress her out
again,i fear that she will end up back in the hospital.He is one
of the reasons that she had the stroke to begin with,because he
had her stressed out of her mind,she'd been taking bloodthinners
and with them you have to have bloodwork at least every two weeks
to make sure that your blod is clotting right-not too slowly or not to fast,and she hadnt been able to get the bloodwork done for
6 weeks,and that must have loosened a clot that caused the stroke.
She is so lucky though because it was a mild one,and it could have
been so much worse.Hes a control freak and wouldnt even let the
visiting nurse come,didnt want to be bothered with that.Part of
her is totally pissed off at him for that,i can tell by the way she looks at him at times,that hes partly to blame.I think when
she does get to go home,that he should stay where hes at for awhile until she recovers,because he'll just start the crap all
over again.Not that she doesnt love him,cause she does,just that
he pisses her off,lol.
We got home after visiting her and Tim gets the bright idea that
he wants chili for dinner.Which would have been all fine and good
BUT he had NO beans,only the dried ones that take a long time to
be able to use them,lol.And he wouldnt go to the store which is
like 5 mins away to get some damn beans,lol.So we had this kinda
messy chili-like soup.Didnt taste too bad,least he couldnt blame
me for it this time,lol.And we watched SNL with Wil Ferrel,well i
did,he fell asleep about 15 minutes into it,lol.I have this weird
liking of Wil Ferrel,not sexual or anything,hehe...just that hes
funny as hell.And i watched Mallrats again...OMG i sooooo love
Jason Lee!Specially in Mallrats cause he was in almost every scene
but a few,lol.
He did piss me off though.As a recovering addict,i cant drink or
anything and he comes to bed and wakes me up trying to kiss me with alcohol on his breath,i had to turn my head away.I dont have
a problem with him drinking or smoking a lil...but i do when he
wants to fool around and i can tell hes half kicked in the ass.It
actually makes me NOT want to drink at all,so thats good i think..
lol.
Thats what is sooo hard with my sis Marina and the hep C..she cant
drink and shes been drunk almost nonstop since February.She hasnt
even made one attempt to see our gram..my God she knows that i had
given gram one of my cell phones,she could at least call her every
once in awhile.I dont get it.Yet i cannot preach at Marina because
i was that kind of drinker for a long time myself,but she just will not get it through her head that this will kill her if she
doesnt stop the drinking.She just wrecked her car last weekend,she
is ok,but the car is totaled and what if she'd have hit another
car and hurt an innocent person.I doubt in my heart that she will
make it to her 43rd Bday next April and thats incredibly sad,even
more so when i look at my gram being ill because of something that
she really couldnt control,and Marina just fucks off and tries to
drink the whole thing away.Its just fucked up.I understand the
treatments are pretty harsh and that she will get pretty sick,but
she wont even give it a try.I know it took a whole hell of a lot
to get me to quit drinking,wasnt easy and i do understand that.I
was lucky though because i quit before my liver was totally fucked
up.But no one can seem to get through to her,not even her
and its sad.
Gotta change the subject..too much of a downer there..
I found out this weekend,and i thought it was funny as hell,lol..
me and Tim were out on his deck and he happened to see a couple
bees.And freaked out,lol.Me...im a girly girl in most aspects and
i had to laugh at him trying to get away from the bees.I used to
be afraid of them until i learned that if you stay still when they
come around then they fly off(unless youre wearing some kind of
flowery perfume)but NOOOO...he got up and started swinging at the
damn things and i thought that they were going to chase him,lol.
Then we were in the house about a half hour later and he saw a
spider,lol...and im not even gonna go there,but that was funny too
God todays going to be a busy day again.Wanna go see gram and i
wanna go to the bank and probably take Tim and the out to eat
then do a lil grocery shopping which is ok cause its right next to
the restaurant,lol.But i have to be home to see Idol..lol.Im still
bummed that Danny went home and im still the anti-Kris fan,lol..so
if i do vote and i really only voted for DC before,i'll have to
vote for Adam.I was reading a little bit about the final two shows
Todays singing one and Wednesdays winner one.And they get three
songs a piece this time,one that the producers pick,one that they
pick themselves and the dreaded coronation song.I bet about anything that Kris does Heartless again,lol.I want Adam to go GNR
and apparently they werent able to get the rights to any of their
catalog of music,so i think id love Wicked Game from Adam,he could
pull that off sooooo well i think.Then again i loved the Zep so he
could do that again,lol.I dont know,while i wanna see Adam win..it
isnt the same as David,lol.Hell i spent an hour online last night
at youtube watching his performances last year.Wish i could buy
season 7,lol...but i havent seen any of the seasons available for
purchasing.But on Wednesdays finale...ive heard that KISS is going
to be there(why i have no idea whatsoever,lol)and David Bowie may
be there to do a duet with Adam,god that kinda gives me chills
just thinking about it and im not even a Bowie fan,lol.BUT for me
the highlight will be DC singing 'Permanent'as a tribute to Adam.
I know the song was written for Adam..and i know its going to be
an emotional time for DC but at the same time i think it will be
awesome.THEN after an hour of commercials they'll tell us who is
the winner.Too bad i dont have Tivo,lol.
God i didnt even see that it was 6,where the hell does the time go
anymore?I have to get moving,way too much to do today,and damn if
i wanna fall asleep when Idol is on,lol.
Ill finish getting to your blogs probably after Idol..ill be around,lol
My Pens...whoooo hoooo...love me some Crosby,lol
Have a great day guys and know i love ya..
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
|
Posted:May 14, 2009 2:29 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2009 4:49 pm
5494 Views
|
Sooo...its true..lol.I joined A.F.F.on May 14th,2004.God how the
time flew by..hehe.When i joined i did so with the idea of maybe
meeting someone but it was really just a lark at the time.I did go
on a few dates with some local guys but nothing clicked and i ende
d up meeting Tim in August of the same year(not HERE,lol)so i had
given a lil thought to just leaving the site,but back in those days,i spent a lot of mornings before work in the Philly chatroom
and thats where i met my Bonobabe Grind and i love her sooo.But i
had a lot of buddies in that room,and when i found the blogs,well
THAT just led me away from the chatroom for the most part.Then
when i started my own blog,i remember thinking to myself,God i'll
never keep this up,id had blogs on other places and just couldnt
get into them.But after awhile of blogging(and my first probably
100 posts were BAD,lol)i started seeing that people were reading
me and GETTING what i was talking about.That i could talk about my
horrific drinking days,my cutting,my abusive asshole of an exhusb,
and not be judged because a lot of women have worn my same shoes.
And while thats really not something to brag about..abuse is just
fucking insane..it led me to meeting a lot of people whom id love
to meet IRL and that i still consider friends as much as my'real'
friends.Hell i think everyone knows me better from my blog and
more about me that my friends and family do,cause i feel comfortab
le here saying whats on my mind or whats in my heart.Not saying im
the best blogger,hehe..in fact im far from that,but i do write
from my heart,good and bad times.Its cathartic to me sometimes.I
know there was a few times when i REALLY REALLY wanted to drink..
and id get here and blog until that feeling went away.Its just been an awesome thing interacting with you all,and i dont think id
leave unless id have to for some reason,lol.I have slowed down a
lot in the last few months,what with everything thats been going
on,but i couldnt ever go away.One thing that does amaze me..and
while i know there are people with 20 times the readers i have,is
how the hell did i manage to have 110 readers,lol.Not that i am
complaining because its awesome,i just dont think im a good enough
blogger to have readers like that.(oooh but that doesnt mean that i want ya to quit me,lol)
I called my gram after Idol.I KNEW Danny was going to go home,i
just felt it.I still dont get Kris at all,and watch him win the
whole damn thing,lol.My gram was bummed a lil cause she loved
Danny,but at the same time she adores Adam.She told me that some
of the staff kept stopping her room to see what was going on with
Idol,it was funny.I think i have the coolest grandma in the world!
Hell,the staff love her i might not be able to get her out,hehe.
I am done with Idol i think this time for sure.I still love Adam
and i soooo want him to win,but i already have my favorite Idol
ever win(DC)so unless theres a long haired rocker next year i quit
the show.And seeing that the odds of that longhaired rocker ever
going on Idol are slim and next to none.Actually most rockers look
down on Idol and wouldnt even audition anyways..lol
I have a meeting next week with the staff at the rehab center and
a woman from the dept of welfare,to see if they can help out even
a little bit with the costs involved in their care.Without taking
what little that my grandparents do have.Some people may look down
on that,but ya know,my grandfather worked nearly 36 years on the
railroad and back in those days it was hard work.And my grandma
worked up until she had her ,so my god theyve paid much much
more into the system than they would ever get out of it,ya know?
They never had welfare,foodstamps,they made do with what they had
and even taking us in when my mom abandoned us,she still was
able to feed us and take care of us.My dad sent us(me and my sis
and bro)$35 a MONTH for support,thats all the help that she ever
had,so im trying to get some help for her that she doesnt lose
what they have.She drives an old car,doesnt own her own home,she
doesnt have stocks or bonds or anything like that..she does have
a fair amount of life insurance on the both of them,but nothing
outrageously high,and i dont think that they can take that from
her anyways.Im having trouble finding their marriage license,lol.
It was in 1946 and i dont even know if the courthouse has a copy
anymore.SHE has the real paper,but i cant find it and she doesnt
quite remember where she put it,lol.And i went to the courthouse
website and my God a 6 year old would do a better job running that
site,its totally useless.I just remembered that im pretty certain
that she has coverage for a whole year in a nursing home if thats
where she has to go and hes a vet so he could go to a veterans
home if he had to,but im trying to keep them together if i can.
Im not gonna blog tomorrow like i usually do on Thursdays,cause i
want to get caught up with your blogs,so ill have to wish you all
a great weekend a day early,lol.But i really really have to get
to my readers,its overdue.And til i get my laptop adaptor which
probably wont be til Monday dammit,its too much of a hassle on
this computer-even though its new i dont like it,lol.Guess it could be worse and not even have a computer period,still i want my
laptop back.
I think im running out of things to say,lol..somethings wrong when
i cant even ramble on.But i better get moving its after 5 and i
gotta get the up soon.
Pic..MY Idol...lol
I hope you have a great weekend and be safe and happy.
Love ya guys..
Cant believe i forgot this but GO PENS!!!!!!!!!What an awesome win
tonight!
|
|
|
3
Comments
|
|
Im about ready to flip the hell out...lol
|
Posted:May 13, 2009 5:19 pm
Last Updated:May 14, 2009 1:04 pm
5043 Views
|
OMG...i had to order yet ANOTHER adapter for my laptop and i am
mad as hell,this will be the THIRD one since February for Gods
sake.
I was here and attempting to answer my comments finally when the
computer shut down and the adapter is dead.So i only got one damn
comment replied to and only made it to one blog to comment.I HATE
the computer that im writing this on,i know it works,lol,but i
want my laptop back,lol.So this probably wont be a huge ass post
but i will do one tonight that'll be better than this one,lol
One thing i wanted to say,oh hell maybe more than one,depends on
how long i can tolerate this computer..is about Idol.And im still
giggling at the hugeness of the Adam pic in the last post..hehe and i dont even know how i did it,or id do it more often.
Last nights show..ahh...dammn pee break,brb...ok im back..sorry
bout that,lol.
Adam...jeez i was soooo looking forward to him singing One,thats
one of my favorite songs ever,and when he started it off so soft
and slow i was loving it,until he mixed up the arrangement.I had
just said that in my last post that i wanted him to sing it just
straight because it would have been even more awesome.Still i love
Adam regardless.Adam's 2 song..lol..well again,i hate Aerosmith
and was a lil disappointed that he didnt do Wicked Game,but other
than the idiot backup singer screwing him up,he did the song fine.
Kris...ahh ya all know im the Anti-Kris fan,so i didnt care for
either one of his performances,Apologize was just blah and bland
for me,and Heartless,while i kinda liked the way it was changed
up,wasnt that it was Kris singing it,i dont like the song and just
liked the diff arrangement,lol.I cant help it,ive just never liked
Kris.
Danny...for once i thought that he did good one both of his songs.
I didnt even know the first one,freakin Paula anyways,lol..but i
thought he had fum with it and it wasnt bad.I LOVED you are so
beautiful,probably my fave Danny performance of the season.
So my prediction(even though im not happy with it,lol)is that
Danny is going to go home.Wanted a Danny/Adam finale but i dont
think that will happen.Hope that im wrong,but i dont think i am.
Nothing much else going on here,lol..didnt get to see grandma like
i wanted to yesterday,but im hoping for tomorrow.But being able to
call her helps out some.And they are both doing well...i cant wait
til they are home,but i dont think it will be for another month or
so.It was cute,she was telling me that half of the staff will stop
in their room on Idol nights to see whats going on,she said her
therapist voted a hundred or so times for Danny..lol.Shes so popul
ar that they may not want her to leave.
Shit,i gotta get going,have to wash a load of blankets before Idol
is on and its cutting it close...why do i even care when my fave
idol ever won last year DC lol,im such a blonde!!
Ill get on this damn computer and get to your comments and try to
get to your blogs to tonight,really wasnt ignoring any of you.
Love ya guys....
|
|
|
2
Comments
|
|
"i Think Id Rather Be Sleeping..or at least in bed"
|
Posted:May 12, 2009 3:03 am
Last Updated:May 18, 2009 12:08 am
5312 Views
|
Good God,the time is just goin too fast,i wanted to write a post
all day yesterday and i just couldnt get to it.In fact i only got
to two of your blogs and i feel like such a dick.One of these days
i just might get my shit together,lol...
I was watching Intervention last night and..well i usually cant
watch that show because 9 times out of 10 it reminds me too much
of ME,the shit that ive done for a drink or 10,waking up not even
knowing where i was at..trying to drink myself to death honest to
God i tried that.I was that low that i wanted to drink so much that id just not wake up.But on last nights show the guy drank a
mixture of hand sanitizer and water,for the alcohol in it.That
reminded me of when i drank a whole bottle of mouthwash when i was
out of vodka.And it worked,sad to say got me totally fucked up.Ive
been sober for a good while now and i really dont want to screw up
that.Im a binge drinker-i cant drink for a night and wake up the
next morning and be all ok--i drank for days at a time.It does get
a little easier the longer that you go sober,but to be honest,i
have days when i really really wanna drink,i just dont let myself
do it.I just dont wanna go back to those days ever ever again,those were some of the worst days of my life and i hope that
they are over.
Went to see Grandma Sat,took her stuff for Mothers Day cause i
figured that i wouldnt be able to make it on Sunday.Bought her 2
dozen pink roses,a U2 Tshirt..(hehe)some other litttle things and
i found these socks that were so cool that i want a pair of them..
they have aloe in them and they are soooo soft,she loved them.When
i visit her,she spends a few minutes looking in my eyes,at my face
and tells me that i make her day when i visit her.That made me cry
but i feel the same way,that if i could see her every day i most
definitely would.
Took a few things for my grandfather too,so that he wouldnt feel
left out,and i felt soooo bad for him.Here he had given me his
wallet about 3 weeks or so ago,and it had like $400 in it,but he
asked for it back,not that he didnt trust me,was just that he had
wanted some money in case there was something there that he wanted
to buy.So i gave it back(I SHOULDNT HAVE)to him,and here when he
got into it to get a few dollars out to get a drink and a snack,he
only had $100 left in there.Its a shame that some asshole would be
so low as to steal money from someone who is ill,and i know hes not the only one its happened too,its just shitty as hell.I think
i hate thieves more than anything.It was sad though and i had to
stop myself from asking him if he wanted me to get some out of the
bank for him,lol.Ill just give him $20 at a time.Hes doing well
though,other than that fiasco.
Grandma is taking longer to get better but we know that is to be
expected.But she is WAY ahead of where the drs thought that she'd
be,so thats really good news.And she was able to eat today,it was
not the best,lol...kinda like babyfood,but she was able to eat 12
oz and not have trouble swallowing and was able to keep it down,so
thats a great sign too.Once she gets the feeding tube out she'll be so much better,have more mobility and just FEEL better,ya know?
And i get to see her today so im happy...lol
OMG...i just heard that Adam is doing a U2 song tonight on Idol.Not only that its U2,but its One and thats one of my fave U2
songs ever.I think he'll to terrific with it and i hope that he
does it straight(lol..couldnt resist)and not change it from the
original version,i actually have heard Bono do it accapella and i
think that would be cool for Adam maybe,he certainly has the voice
for it.Its such a moving and powerful song that he really cant mess it up or it wont work for him.The other choice was Wicked
Game and thats another awesome song too.The judges really are not
making it easy for Danny and Kris..well i dont care for Kris at
all,i really dont care what he sings,but he was given a song that
Archie had last year and makes me wanna mute the TV,lol.And the
song for Danny i dont think ive ever heard..lol.Im still torn with
Danny and Adam..i started off on a huge Danny kick and i still love the rasp he has,but hes been skating by with his fan base for
the last few weeks,while Adam has been on fire.Thats what is so
exciting this year is that ya never know what Adam is going to do.
I LOVED the Zep,omg one of my fave Idol performances ever.I ALMOST
changed my background to Adam..but i have this insane love for DC
and i just couldnt,lol.Silly as it sounds,i would LOVE to hear
Adam sing Skid Row's I remember you...god i think id pass out,hehe
but it'll never happen.
Had a nice Mothers day,was very quiet.Tim bought me flowers and a
beautiful heart necklace,i wasnt expecting anything from him so it
was a shocker.We stayed in and cooked together and i was able to
recharge my batteries so to speak.(NEVER mind the fact that i broke my 'toy' AGAIN...hehe.)
Ive been such a horrible horrible blog commentator lately and i do
feel like a dick.I cant seem to find the time,but ill try to after
or before Idol tomorrow.
Tam..youre still in my thoughts and prayers sweetie and much love
sent your way...
OMG...Drew Peterson needs to go to hell RIGHT now,the pompous and
ignorant jackoff asshole.Aghh...what a waste of everything.
I better get moving,its almost 6 and i have a lot to do before i
get to grandmas yet...i hope that you all have a wonderful day and
try not to be tooo mad that i havent got to your comments yet,or
your blogs,i WILL...lol.
love ya guys
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
"Mothers Day and Bono Day"..couldnt be a better Sunday..lol
|
Posted:May 8, 2009 4:11 am
Last Updated:May 14, 2009 12:45 pm
7895 Views
|
Firstly i have to wish all you moms out there the bestest of days
on Sunday,that you have a wonderful one.I myself..have no plans un
less someone is planning on a suprise,lol.
Bono day...lol...May 10 is my heros Birthday and well im not going
to go into it again(cause ive already explained like 3 million
times how much he means to me,lol)plus i wrote a post just on him
on his bday last year.So Happy Bday Bono...lol
OMG...Zep on Idol...i was friggin floored and WOW WOW WOW is all i
can say.THAT was the Adam that ive been waiting to see all year and it finally came out.Definitely he's in the finale and he just
might win it all.I am still torn cause i love Danny too..and i am
pissed that Allison went home,should have been Kris(Arch older,lol) that went.I
dont know what it is but i cannot stand Kris at all.LOVED the duet
with A&A..that was awesome and Daughtry was well...amazing too.One
of the best,if not THE best shows of this season.Course i had to
giggle a lil when he sang the line'wanna give you every inch of my
love'..hehe.Im such a perv i think.Even though he's gay,i dont
care,hes sexy as hell and he can SING.Although i love my David more,Adam is up there with Daughtry,and Bo...lol.I think i will be
glad when the show is over this year.Not that i want it to be,just
that with all the changes over the year,and with next week only 2
songs apiece instead of 3,its not getting any better.And the duet
thing,i think if they were gonna do that,it should have been done
with the top 10 or somethin,not the top 4.I may be one of the very
few,but i loved Dannys part of Renegade..i like that raspiness he
has its very sexy.And...hehe Paula coming out that she's addicted
to painkillers,like we didnt ALL know that already.I probably
shouldnt have said that,what with my past addictions,its just that
she lied for years about it.
I need to get Moms day cards for everyone today...got gifts last
week for my grandma,and i have my moms gift ordered,it may be late
but its coming,but i have several more cards to get yet sometime
later today.And i am getting to the point where i almost cannot go
to the grocery store often anymore.With my leg and my back hurting
so bad,i have to use one of those electronic cart thingies and i get all kinds of weird looks.But if i dont use one,i simply cant
walk the store and get the stuff.Hell in some of the stores i go to(small ones)i have to take a break and sit on the fuckin floor
because they have no benches or anything to sit on.I know i really
shouldnt let it bother me,but it kinda embarrasses me.And i have
to do it again today,dammit..lol
I did promise my grandma that as soon as she got home that id get
my back fixed.And im one of those people that if i make a promise
then i have to do what i promised,lol.But if i dont get it done,i
WILL be unable to walk and i dont want that.I bought her one of
those heat and vibrating chair thingies,i may have to go to her
house and borrow it,maybe try out the vibe part.OK that was just
wrong,lol and i know it.But if i use it the RIGHT way it may help
me back a lil.It wouldnt be so bad if it was just one thing that
was wrong with my back,but its all messed up.Spine curving,have
several discs buldging and several that are out of place period and arthritis on top of all that.And i cant take painkillers,both
because im scared to with my addictive personality and also im
pretty sure that im allergic to a few of them that id been prescri
bed several years ago.So all i can handle is muscle relaxers,which
take the egde off but it never really goes away.
Wow...i finally made it to a few of your blogs,and even got some of my comments done too,cept i know it'll be the same after the
weekend,lol.Im trying though....
God...i almost forgot to update grandma.Shes doing very good.She
had had a bad day Saturday,she cried and made me cry too.But it
turned out that it was the new med that they tried with her and it
was making her totally depressed.They took her off of it the next
day thank God.Im soooo glad that i came up with the idea of giving
her one of my cells,that way i can at least talk to her when i cant see her and thats nice.
Im buying her a ring for her anniversary.With their names and the
date engraved and their birthstones in it.Its beautiful and while
it is kinda expensive,she is worth it.
Ahh...i better get moving,i cant believe that its after 7 already
and i have a long day again.I think(hope)that i have internet on
my new phone,so maybe i can get back here over the weekend.That
would be great.If not...i wish for all you mothers out there a
very very happy Mothers Day and for everyone..have an AWESOME
weekend...
Pic...Bono back in the day..lol
love ya guys..
|
|
|
15
Comments
|
|
|
Posted:May 5, 2009 4:00 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2009 2:10 am
5501 Views
|
I was actually a lil surprised that the death of Adam affected me
so much.I guess part of it was seeing him there being able to see
DC and hear him sing to him..and also DCs comments,even when he
got choked up,said that he was going to do this everywhere,even if
he had to swim or crawl..lol.What a beautiful heart he has.
Speaking of Dc...my grandma called me the other day before i was
about to visit her and she asked me to buy her a cd player and a
few CD's.Well,even though i felt like i was betraying my inner
rocker chick,lol..she wanted Carrie Underwood's CD.I actully had
to look around for it,cause i never look at country music,lol.I
DID splurge a lil and bought her the Joshus Tree remastered CD...
hell I dont even have that one,lol.But ya'll know how much a U2
fan she is,she loved it.Although i dont think shes QUITE as big a
U2 fan as me..lol.Like i said she was really happy with what i
took her,yet i felt dirty and had to wash my hands after that one
CD...hehe.She is doing very good,cant ask for more than that,ya
know?
Weekend was a very quiet one.Tims 's prom was friday and i was
nt able to get there to see him in his Tux,hopefully there'll be
some pics from it.Mikeys prom is this weekend and he Doesnt wanna
go at all.Not a big music freak yet and he hates to dance,lol..so
we might try that again next year.I think back and the only prom
that ive been to was my sis Ambers and that was a long time ago.I
HATED school and and ya couldnt have paid me to go,lol.Plus the
same idiots that i didnt care for were going to be there,lol..so i
didnt even give it another thought.Same reason why i havent been
to any of my high school reunions..lol
Hehe,Tim pissed me the hell off though...he was in bed and asleep
at 9:00.And while i understand that he needs sleep cause he works
hard,it left me with nothing to do whatsoever.I mean theres only so many Earl's and House dvds until ya get tired of them,lol.But
i went online to my cell phone provider and im seeing about gettin
g one of those wireless laptop cards,that way i should be able to
get online at his house...and never het so far behind your blogs,
lol.I was surprised that he DIDNT ask me for money..although i see
m to have the feeling that he'll need some before the month is out
What the hell is going on in this world?I just saw CNN and they
were talking about a guy who killed his whole family..cept the
who managed to get away.Ya know,if your dumb enough to off yours-
elf,just do it to yourself,not take your whole family with you.I
swear that every time i put the news on,something like this is
going on.And another (a lil boy)just went missing.Its heart-
breaking for some one who is a parent,even if you dont have any
its still fucked up.I dont understand it and i probably never
will.And that ANTHONY bitch...how come everytime they either show
her partying pics,or her laughing during jail visits..my god i just cannot stand the bitch.
I think im taking mike and matty over to see grandma this afternoon,been a while since they saw her.Course i think that Matt
has an ulteriour motive,he wants to go out to eat.And to not a lil
cheap one either,lol.But i promised them,so i have to do it,lol.I
do know that id like to over and see grandma before late in the
day cause i have a lot to do,gotta get to the post office and to
the grocery story and i definitely wanna be home for Idol,lol.I
cant help it,its my rock week.Doesnt hurt that i think Slash is
sexy too,hehe.I hope that they can maybe to a few GNR songs.Axl
owns the name of the band,no doubt he probably owns the rights to
the songs and he just might be a prick about it,ya know?
I think id like Adam to sing Dont Cry for some weirdass reason.Its
all over the internet message boards where they want Adam to do
welcome to the jungle and whilei like Adam a lot,i dont think that
i like that choice for him.I really dont want anyone to even try to do November Rain,for 3 reasons,lol.#1..its my fave song EVER and i dont wanna hear someone mess it up,lol..#2Its a long long
song..nearly 9 minutes long and considering that they get a 10th
of that time to do a song,it wouldnt really work i dont think.But
a perverse side of me wants him to do that song,lol,cause HE's the
only one who could really do a GNR song and be awesome with it.I
could be wrong and i probably am..probably just be a pick your
fave rock song,no matter what.And ive heard that they are going to
be doing duets instead of 2 songs apiece and just HOW the HELL is
that going to give the voters whom to vote for,ya know?They've
made soooo many stupid ideas and the whole season is in chaos.Ireally doubt that it will be on too much longer.I think the
producers want an Adam/Danny finale and i think thats whats going
to happen i bet,lol.As for this week(subject to change)I sooo do
not like Kris..i wish he'd go first and then Allison and then get
down to Adam/Dammy as thr final two.I cant complain there either
because even though they are as different as night and day..they
are my two faves.Reminds me a lil of last year with both the David
s,that i thought for sure that Cook was gone.But this year if the
finale is Adam and Danny then i would like whichever one,ya know?
Ok..enough bout Idol..i really got to get moving,I'll try to get
to more of your blogs before Idol,or right after.Ooooooh..i did
almost forget==Mike you were my 6200 comment.And i think thats
awesome.So now i can go back and comment on your comments since i
got the big one,lol.
Have a wonderful day guys...
love ya
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
R.I.P. Adam C.
|
Posted:May 4, 2009 4:07 am
Last Updated:May 8, 2009 3:11 am
5307 Views
|
Adam Cook, the eldest brother of "American Idol" winner David Cook, has died from brain cancer. He was 37.
David Cook announced the Saturday death at the 12th annual Race for Hope 5K in Washington, D.C., where he was serving as grand marshal. The singer says the cause of death was a brain tumor.
Adam Cook was a lawyer from Terre Haute, Ind., who battled cancer for more than a decade. He famously cheered for his singing sibling in the audience of the popular Fox signing competition's seventh season in 2008.
Julie Henricks, a friend of the Cook family, said Adam Cook died at his Terre Haute home, where hospice nurses were helping Cook's wife, Kendra, care for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I just found out about this and it saddens me to no end.At least
he lived long enough to see his brother win Idol and have a great
Platinum album.
To show the heart of David...he stayed and ran the Race for the
Cure race to raise cancer awareness and funding.What a beautiful
person he is,inside and out.My thoughts go to his family right
now,as even though it was an inoperable tumor,he did survive 11
years with it,but it came back with a vengence and Adam just didnt
want to go through the chemo after being told that it more than
likely wouldnt work this time..and he was tired,so very tired.
My heart goes out to David and his family and prayers that they
will get through this ok.
And i wonder why i LOVE DC...not anymore,hes just awesome.
Be back tomorrow with a weekend post..lol
love ya guys
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
No Title...lol
|
Posted:May 1, 2009 1:18 am
Last Updated:May 4, 2009 1:46 am
5678 Views
|
Jeeez..just when i thought i was better,ive been feeling like shit
the last few days,havent been to A.F.F. at all,im so far behind in
ya'lls blogs,omg i dont know that ill ever get caught up..lol.Ahh
i will,just taking me a lil while again.And i didnt get that damn
big comment so i cant even reply to your comments yet..im such a
dork!But i'll do that too..ive just been feeling shitty and half
sick to my stomach that even reading is bothering me,if that even
makes any sense.
I was just thinking that i havent seen Northvike for a long long
time,i wonder if he quit blogging...he isnt even on my watched
blog list,so i dont know.I miss many of ya that stopped blogging
and one in particular(you know who you are sweetie and that i just
ADORE you)its hard.I got a comment on my very first blog post back
in August 06-god its almost 3 years of blogging-and that was such
a bad post,lol.Not that the comment was bad,in fact it was very
nice,i was just a bad blogger back then.Sometimes i think that i
havent come too far,lol.But that was kinda cool.I actually HATE to
look back at some of my posts from the first few pages because i
was drinking too much then,hell i blogged a few times that i didnt
even remember what i said.But for some weirdass reason i havent
deleted them,i guess maybe to remind myself that i was pretty bad
off in those days and if i feel the urge to do something stupid...
then i could look back and SEE stupid,ya know?
I timed my visit to see my Grandma to be about an hour before Idol
was on Tuesday,lol...BUT i only got to see Kris and i missed Adams
yummmmyness.I know hes gay and all,and he doesnt hold a candle to
David Cook for me personally(only cause im still in total lust with him,hehe)he has those sexy eyes,just wow.And i dont believe
for a minute that he was really in the bottom three.Even though im
still torn between him and Danny(John if you see this,member the
sammich?..hehe)i know that Idol wants Adam in the finale just for
the ratings.I really felt bad for Matt,even though i wasnt into
him,he looked sad.Least he made the top 5 though.
Tim got pissed and didnt wanna stay and yea it was cause he KNEW
that i wanted to watch Idol the prick.My grandma said he was just
jealous and im thinking...what the fuck?If it was last year and
DC then i could see him being jealous..lol..but its not like that
this year.Hes just lucky that it wasnt Slash week because i would
have made him take me home,lol.
Grandma is doing really good,i just dont let myself get all happy
happy yet,i hate that side of me,but still i worry about things.
She even tells me to not worry and all,but i still do.She has such
tough therapy,God i dont think i could even do it,and she gives
and goes as long as she can cause she wants home.I just was thinki
ng that with the exception of a couple weeks,shes been in the
hospital or rehab center this whole year.And id say she has prob
another month to go where shes at,then again she might surprise me
and be home earlier,she has that willpower.
Im in a kind of a dilemma and im not sure what i should do...i was
talking to Tim this afternoon after work and he sounded down as all hell and i asked him what was wrong,and he was telling me how
tough its been losing his day job.STill has the night job but his
day job paid more and he didnt have trouble making ends meet like
he is now.I told him about that energy assistance program and he
applied for that and got it.I wasnt sure that he would cause his
income was just about at the limit.So that was good...but today
he was saying something like he worked 2 full-time jobs for years
and was able to get by,that he wished that he'd have put some away
for times like these.I felt bad for him,because he does work hard
and hes alone most of the time when hes home because his has
too many activities,lol...but he was getting pissed that V wouldnt
help around the house or anything anymore..and i understand that to a point,if i didnt have Mikey to help me out around the house
i couldnt do it myself and hell he and i still have a lot of work
to do around the house after the weekend,housework i hate too,lol
but needs to be done.But my dilemma is that i think that he needs
money and doesnt want to ask me straight out.Hell i dont make as
much as he does,i just seem to manage it better.I even paid his
property taxes last year and that was 1300..which i THOUGHT i was
getting back,lol..but i didnt.And i dont know that i want to give
him a lot of money again.I have some put away for a car,and i made
the dumbass mistake of mentioning something about that a few months ago--I just feel torn because i want to help him out and i
do about everything that i can for him...but then part of me gets
that fucking feeling that hes using me.And while the logical me
knows that he really isnt,the cynical me thinks he is..lol.Some
times i think that if we were living together then it wouldnt
bother me giving him money,but he doesnt seem to realize that i
have my own bills and rent and TWO to feed instead of one...
and that its not a piece of cake for me either.And he never went
through a totally POOR period like i did for a few years and i dont want to ever go through that again if i can help it.I dont
know,i just feel guilty i guess cause i dont wanna just hand over
a lot of money again.Just mixed up and knowing me..ill probably
end up giving him something..lol
This is the first time ive blogged for a good while without me
writing it out on paper first in case i lose the post,lol..watch
it not post on me.Ah well,if it does then ill just write a way way
condensed version..hehe
This swine flu thing-i seem to remember way back when it was going
around in the 70's i think?But its kinda scary.I just finished a
book about a Dr who was infecting people with Legionaires,and then
i see the swine flu...and its like geeez,what the hell is going on
ya know?Admittedly i dont know much about the swine flu,so im not
even sure how its transmitted,etc.But its still a lil scary.Like we dont have enough to worry about already in this world.Its like
sometimes i wanna say..stop the world i wanna get off..lol
Somethin good happened today though,damn.He and i went to this
cash bash thingie Saturday night and it was free(id won 10 tix)and
it was all you could eat and open bar and all that,plus drawings
every few minutes for cash.Didnt win anything and after id eaten..
i didnt wanna stay til it was over because i didnt wanna be tempted by the free booze,so we left halfway through it.But they
were selling tickets on this big ass flat screen TV and id bought
like 10 of them and had a number and had to write my name on the
list.Didnt think nothing of it,til i went to the club today for a
little bit and soon as i walked in my friend Bill says...Erin you
won that TV..lol.I didnt believe him,then everyone else says yea
you won it..i didnt believe any of them.Finally he brings the
board up with the winner and shows me the my name and what # hit
the TV and God it was me..lol.I though that was pretty awesome,as
my old TV was an OLD Tv..i dont think it was even cable ready it
was so old,lol.But it worked good and i didnt need to buy another
one ya know..but i do love this one,had play with it for awhile.
God i have a huge day ahead of me today,gotta get my grandmas and
grandfathers pension checks and get them to the bank and send her
bills,do my own bills yet but i can do those online i think most
of them,lol.Then its the damn grocery store and pay my rent and
pay her rent,my brain is on overload..no wonder i cant sleep too
well,lol.Good thing is that Tims not picking me up til late,its
his sons prom and he has to go somewhere with him,so maybe ill be
able to get back on here.Bad thing is that by the time that i get
all the shit done that i have to do,and he gets me ill just be
bout exhausted and just wanna go to bed,lol.Ah,could be worse,i
cant really complain too bad.
I better go get a shower soon,maybe get a lil more sleep before i
gotta get moving,lol.Gonna be a long day methinks.
I hope you all have a great weekend and ill be by your blogs soon
as i can,tomorrow hopefully.
Pic...Adam,hehe
Be safe and know i love ya guys...
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
That song in my head,lol
|
Posted:Apr 28, 2009 3:57 am
Last Updated:Apr 30, 2009 2:30 am
5133 Views
|
Dammm,i forgot that House was on again,what the hell is wrong with
me,lol.Guess ill have reruns to see later in the year though.
OMG,whats up with this craig killer?I usually watch the CNN early
news at 5 AM,and heard all kinds of shit about him.Lord,whats this
world coming to?Along with that crazy Anthony bitch,and the totally fucked up Huckaby creep,its just crazy and wrong.And the
lil Haliegh missing for so long,its unreal.I think what pisses me
off so much about the Anthony bitch is that she didnt even report
her missing.I think it was the grandmother if im not mis-
taken who did finally report her missing.WTF is wrong with this
picture?If one of my went missing,let me tell you id be on the phone with the police immediately,NOT after a month of frigging partying.And her mother irritates the hell outta me too.
And both of her parents have said publicly that they both had had
the idea of suicide,makes ya wonder that they do know the truth
and are protecting their .I dont get any of these idiots.
Speaking of idiots..lol,my heighbors were outside grilling at 12
AM last night.Last year i remember them doing it at 3AM,so i guess
12's a lil better,but still what the hell is up with that,,grill
at a normal time,ya bunch of jackasses.When i was coming home last
night i saw a moving van and said to myself...could they be moving
pleeeeeease?No such luck,lol..was someone else.
Had a nice weekend,was beautiful outside and yet i spent a lot of
the time getting caught up on sleep,ive been running on empty for
a long time and just had to sleep when i could.Saw my grandma and
shes doing well...she told me that they plan to start her on real
food(hopefully)next week and get rid of the damn feeding tube,its
been hurting her but she has to have the nutrients and all,so she
has to deal with it for another week or so.I was thinking earlier
that while she has a ways to go before she recovers,it could have
been SO much worse.For that i have to be thankful.Even though i
miss her terribly and wish i could see her everyday,she is getting
better and thats such a good thing.She was telling me that when
she has her PT the therapist was a former NFL player and ya know
that my gram LOVES football,i bet she loved that and im sure that
he liked her.Put her through quite a workout,but thats they way
that she is,she gives 110% because she wants home,lol.And that the
more that she can do,the better she'll get and the quicker she'll
be able to get home.
Today is the 15th yr anniversary of my ex husbs stroke.April 27/28
1994-but he had a massive stroke that left him paralyzed and not
able to speak.In fact after he came home from the hospital he never did ANY therapy whatsoever,even though i begged him to,it
fell on deaf ears.I look back sometimes and i cant see how i could
have prevented his stroke.It was caused mostly by his drinking,yet
if i didnt get him a bottle,id get the hell beat outta me,so i was
in between a rock and a hard place,ya know?Hes been living in an
assisted living place now and has been for years now,i didnt even
know where the hell he was(not that it mattered,but for the
sake it kinda did)until our divorce when the judge ordered his
lawyer to give me his address.That was 5+ years ago and i still
never even drove past where he is.I just dont want to.
Tim called me a lil while ago and said he'd be over to get me at
7Am today.I was thinking what the hell?He usually does get me on
Toesdays to go see my gram,but i got the time pushed back to like
noon,lol.Simply have too much to do before i leave and he plans on
me spending the night,which is all fine and good,cause we usually
only have weekends.I was bitching at him and telling him that he
needed to get the channel that has Idol on to come in(he still wont get cable,lol)or else i wasnt coming til after 8,lol.I have
the feeling that there wont be any Idol for me tonight.Least its
jazz week and one that i really dont have a lot of interest in,all
but Danny and Adam i dont care about.But NEXT week,omg...member
how i kept saying that i wanted to hear Adam do a Guns and Roses
song?Hell ive been saying that everywhere,lol.And its rock week
and Slash is the mentor,so that ought to be cool.Only thing is that Axl has to ok any GNR songs cause he owns the name and the
rights to them and they'd have to pay,but id still love to hear
Adam do one,i think that would just be totally awesome,he already
has that Axl quality in his voice.
And im gonna miss the spoliers and all..lol.I usually watch it in
the Idol chatroom,so we can bitch about or be awed by someone and
it adds something to the show for me.There was this huge collectiv
e YES when Lil and Anoop were voted off,was kinda funny but i had
been saying all along that both had outstayed there time.I was
reading in the Usa paper that they think that Kris is the one to
beat.Im sorry but i just dont like him at all.Hes just an older
Archuletta an ya all know i dont like him any better now than i
did last year,lol.I do like Allison but she has no fan base that i
know of.Hell everyone i know,online and in real life are Adam and
Danny faves.Those are my fave Top 2..cause being that i like them
both it wouldnt matter who won,hehe.Last year was a nerve wracker
with the Davids and when Ryan said the winner is David...........
Cook,i flipped out a lil,was shocked because he moved me so very
much.Almost to the point of Bono,but not quite,lol.But yea i will
probably miss tonight,should've made him get me Wednesday.NOT that
Idol is more important,i shouldnt bitch anyways.
I think im on a Kevin Smith kick again in movies.Saw Clerks over
the weekend and have quite a few on my netflix,but i think that
Dogma is my fave.Course having Ben and Matt and Jason in it doesnt
hurt at all...lol
I did manage to get to a few of your blogs before i fell asleep..
i havent commented on my blog comments yet cause im almost to the
6200th comment and i wanna see who it'll be,lol...just not ME.
Ah,i better get moving,almost 7 and i have a lot to do today as
usual doubly hard with my damn back,its never easy anymore.Aint it
a bitch getting old?..lol
Gotta post these lyrics cause theyve been in my head all weekend..
and its off Chinese Democracy.One of my two faves off that one.
Better(Guns and Roses)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No one ever told me when
I was alone
They just thought I'd know better, better
No one ever told me when
I was alone
They just thought I'd know better, better
The hardest part
This troubled heart
Has never yet been through now
Was heal the scars
That got their start
Inside someone like you now
For had I known
Or I'd been shown
Back when how long it'd take me
To break the charms
That brought me harm
And all but would erase me
I never would
Or thought I could
No matter what you'd pay me
Replay the part
You stole my heart
I should have known you're crazy
If all I knew
Was that with you
I'd want someone to save me
It'd be enough
But just my luck
I fell in love and maybe
All that I wanted was
Now I know you better
You know I know better
Now I know you better
So bittersweet
This tragedy
Won't ask for absolution
This melody
Inside of me
Still searches for solution
A twist of faith
A change of heart
Cures my infatuation
A broken heart
Provides the spark
For my determination
No one ever told me when
I was alone
They just thought I'd know better, better
No one ever told me when
I was alone
They just thought I'd know better, better
All that I wanted was
I don't know you better
You don't know me better
Now you know me better
I never wanted you to be so full of anger (anger)
I never wanted you to be somebody else
I never wanted you to be someone afraid to know themselves
I only wanted you to see things for yourself
All that I wanted was
Now I know you better
Now we all know better
All that I wanted was
All that I want
All that I want
All that I want
All that I want
If I were you
I'd manage to
Avoid the invitation
Of promised love
That can't keep up
With your adoration
Just use your head
And in the end
You'll find your inspiration
To choose your steps
And won't regret
This kind of aggravation
No one ever told me when
I was alone
They just thought I'd know better, better
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have a great day guys and know i love ya...
|
|
|
1
comment
|
|
|
Posted:Apr 24, 2009 12:46 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2009 11:37 am
6080 Views
|
God..the days are going by so fast this week,sometimes they seem
to drag on and on and on,and its like i cant believe that its even
Friday already,lol.Glad it is,but i hate to wish time to go by so
fast because time is something that you cant get back,ya know?The
older i get the more it seems that time does go too fast.I member
being like 18 and wishing i were 25,i even made this list when i
went through my horrific childhood and finally got my shit together,of things that i wanted to have done by the time i was 25
and while i dont still have that list(wish sometimes that id have
kept it,to look and reflect on it,lol)i did manage to do quite a
few of the things that i wanted to do.If youve been reading me
long enough you know that i went through almost a 10 yr stage of
being agoraphobic and couldnt leave the house,just was really sooo
messed up in my head that i actually wonder how the hell i got out
of it.One thing was that i wanted to get married.Didnt plan on
having ,id been around my neices and nephews,lol..and while
that was all fine and good for an hour here and there,i didnt want
to have any of my own.Ah,but then i met my exhusband when i was 25
or so,and 3 months later i was pregnant.So there went the thought
of being kidless.Course then a year and a hald after having Mike
i found myself pregnant again,i was actually totally pissed off
when i found out i was pregnant again.I look back now and i see
that had i not had Matt,id have missed out on something very very
special.(NOT that Mikey isnt,cause he is too,lol)But i definitely
didnt want any more .Then a few years ago,went through somethi
ng really heartbreaking and while im NOT going to blog about it
again,i have blogged it and its just a poem,so im pretty sure that
some of you have read that.I just dont wanna talk bout that now...
And now with my grandparents being ill..makes you grow up--even if
you are already 40+(i didnt wannnnna grow up)and i sometimes wish
i could go back those 20 years.Not that i would have given up my
kiddos,they are pretty much my heart,but there is a lot of things
that i would have done differently.Wouldnt have stayed in the shit
ty marriage as long as i did,wouldnt have met Sean(i picked HIM up
in a bar,not the other way around,lol)Definitely wouldnt have let
myself fall into the bottle as hard and as long as i did.THAT was
never on my list of things that i wanted do accomplish.I wouldve
gone to law school instead of paralegal classes,or done something
with all the lyrics and poems that ive written-i can still do that
i guess.I dont know,i spose im just thinking too much as always.
I guess that im starting to feel old and i didnt see that coming..
lol.God that didnt come out right,i meant that when youre younger
you dont think of when you'll be like 35,or 40 etc etc.Its the lil
girl in me that wants a do-over,so to speak,lol.
Geeez,not sure why i got so serous all of the sudden,lol i guess
its just that with everything going on,i havent found a happy
place yet.Semi-good yes,but have those bad days too.And i
dont know,its a beautiful day,supposed to be even better
tomorrow,i think its just what i said that i cant or havent learned
how to switch my brain off,the only thing that did that was when
i was drinking,lol and i dont want to go back there.So somehow
i keep going on,even though sometimes its hard.When i have the
extra minute i try to read your blogs,i did get to a few of ya,and i
hope like hell i can get caught up soon,but one blogger in particular
(NOT that i dont love ya'll)makes me think every time that i go
to his blog.Mike im talking about you..lol.Sometimes its a good
think,sometimes its a not so good think,but its always a think or
an idea or a sense of a lil security maybe.Im not a religious
person,but i do believe in God and i pray an awful lot,but i dont
pray for ME,if that makes sense.But it seems like i learn somethin
new in his posts,or that remember something that id forgotten...
somewhere along the way.
I guess that's the kind of blog that i like--i dont really get into the
erotic posts some people write,even though theres nothing wrong
with that,lol..its just that im more into visible i think.And i tend to
not read the super bloggers with hundreds and hundreds of readers
i like the blogs where the person is real,and that's the way that i
tend to blog myself goood and bad.Bad more often than good lately
cause these havent been the best,lol.OOOOps....i didn't really say
that the right way...i didn't mean to say that the super bloggers ARENT
real people,but i think ya'll know what i mean.
Ya know,i think the whole idea behind this post is to love your loved ones
to embrace them every every day,to say those lil three words as often as
you can.To your spouse,to your mom or your dad,to your ,to your
friends and even your blogger buddies.Because you never know if there
will be a time that you cant say those words anymore.
I was going to post a song,cause im in a GNR mood,lol..but i think that i
will hold up on that a lil.But its still in my head to blog about when i get
home,lol
I hope that you all have a beautiful weekend guys....
and i love you..
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (rm_bonogirl1) use [blog rm_bonogirl1] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
|
|
|
1
|
2
|
3
|
4
|
5
|
6
|
7
|
8
|
9
|
10
|
11
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
201
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
31
|
|
