Kaloopin!
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Posted:Oct 22, 2005 6:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1102 Views
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I finally got to kaloop last night!! Was so great to see friends! The kalooping queen looked so happy *S* what a wonderful, time!!!!
I think this is the dawn of a new age. Fewer organized meets, more gathering of the people we all want to see in a more intimate atmosphere.
I know i prefer this venue and others i spoke to seemed to feel the same!
All in all, I had an astounding time. Thank you Sue and Kathy for picking me up, driving in Woostah traffic just isnt in the cards for me anymore. And, as always, ty Song for delivering me safely back home. Long ride for you and you know how much i appreciate it!! ................
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Help!!
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Posted:Oct 18, 2005 7:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
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MissDiva is teething! She's four months old and the transition has begun. Her baby teeth are falling out and her grown up teeth are beginning to peek thru. She is a chewing fiend!! Me, my things, doesnt matter!! I've been thru this many times over the years, so i know what to expect but it doesnt make it easier!
She has toys galore and chews them with gusto. Rawhides, doggie bacon, milkbones, squeaky toys, stuffed toys, rope toys,but not enough! The inner soles to my shoes are her favorite!
I have two little raggedy andy dolls that were saved from my boys infancy. They usually sit on the lap of a handmade doll, in a little rocker my grandfather made for me {out of a maple syrup bucket} when i was a baby. No more!! I had to find higher ground! lol
We'll survive this! Every day when i sweep up the remnants of her latest chewathon, i tell myself, we will survive!!!
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Brrr, cold!!
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Posted:Oct 17, 2005 4:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
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In keeping with the season, the came over last night. They were loaded down with pumpkins and carving kits!! What a surprise! Zach said "Well Mom, you and Dad did many a jack o lantern with us, so now we thought we'd do them for you!
We had a great time. I couldnt carve so i did mine with the provided crayons. I don't know who i had in mind, but my jack o lantern has a face on one side and a penis on the other. I named him "Richard Cranium" lol
Molly did an intricate pattern that turned into a haunted castle. Its awesome when lit! Zachs is pretty intricate as well, but unfinished. He'll be back soon to complete it. There's one for Nate too. They couldnt find him to bring him over to share the fun, but a pumpkin was carved for him, in absentia.
I look forward to the holiday season this year. After some rocky times, we seem to have come together and I couldnt be more pleased. If you keep to your convictions and keep on lovin them no matter what, do eventually grow up!!!!
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Its over!
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Posted:Oct 15, 2005 5:58 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
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The blog i refered a day or so ago was resuurected for one last gasp and now its been deleted by NoStrings along with its author.
That last entry was painful to read and the fact that 80 or so Affers read it before its deletion means that this will not end. There will be more behind the scenes crucifixions, more gossip and i suspect some beating of chests in glee.
Its truly sad that this online life takes on such a dark side. I have received emails concerning my statements here and the side i'm on. I've made it perfectly clear that i am on no ones side. None of this darkness has anything to do with me, nor do i know whats true and not true. More to the point, i dont care. I made my feelings known here as to the blog in question, the many good points and the fact that we as adults should be able to make our points without castigation.
Do i think some of the posts in said blog were dark? Of course I do. Some of the answers were as well. Do I take as gospel things said, no, i wasnt there, i have no idea. That goes for author and responders alike. Who knows, this was all a war of words between two or three people. No one was innocent. The target in this debacle told me himself, that his mission was to make "her" life miserable. I hope now, everyone is satisfied with his/her role and can close the book.
I see that involved parties have visited here so let me give you some unsolicited advice.
Let this all drop!! Nothing can be gained by continuing with the gossip etc. Its over if you allow it to be over.
One last bit of food for thought. You don't like what i say here? Here's a thought, don't come here!!!!!
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It doesnt take much
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Posted:Oct 14, 2005 2:19 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1050 Views
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I believe in signs. I've had a good feeling ever since my move into this place. The first of September was a new beginning for me and I truly believe a good one.
Just now i went out on the balcony, lol not to view the sunset for sure!!! I have a corner bakers rack out there, on which i placed several plants. One of which, a forlorn and sick looking Christmas cactus that has hung on for several years. Even tho i yearned to toss it i couldnt. That cactus is covered with buds!! It'll bloom for the holidays this year, and thats enough sign for me!!!
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Its a sad day
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Posted:Oct 13, 2005 4:18 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1179 Views
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This morning is different. My usual routine has been interrupted. A blog I visited every morning is no longer there.
It was a wonderful blog! So many good things to share, sigh.
Yes, there was a dark side that involved another affer. It was a nasty exchange of insults and accusations but looking beyond that, it was a well written, interesting peek into anothers life. One i enjoyed very much
Several times throughout the years I found myself leaving the keyboard in tears because of hurtful words. I took it all so seriously! Several times I was attacked verbally by someone whom I've never met. Then, after my heart attack, i had an epiphany. Firstly, i discovered how many true friends i have and secondly i finally knew what Ricky was talking about. Its all just words on a screen!!
When folks are friends outside this venue it seems to me that they take their differences to another place. Song and I are best friends. We surely have differences of opinion and often voice them in group or here. But the serious stuff, and trust that there has been serious stuff, is worked out privately as it should be between any two people who are close. WE've had some knock down and drag em out fights!! They arent for anyone elses amusement, they're between us and thankfully, cuz we respect and love one another, they are resolved. Not always cuz one of us "wins" or changes the others mind but cuz we talk it out and let it go. Sometimes we agree to disagree, thats life!!!
I'm not taking sides in the "fight" that caused this blogger to close her diary. I am, however, defending her right to put to print, in her own personal blog, anything she chooses to. These are diaries, and just like those diaries we had as ,, with the little lock and key, things are said that can hurt, incite and anger. Yes, this is public. The choices we have are many. We can choose not to visit and read a blog, we can answer and call into question anything we choose to. The blogger also has options. We can delete any post we want to, we can delete and ban any contributer at any time. We are in control unlike a group post where a moderator sets the tone and pace and where fights are controlled.
My point here is, a blog is cathartic. Its a place to save ourselves if we find that necessary. I find it sad that anyone would feel so under siege that they would choose to give this opportunity up.
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Its no exaggeration
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Posted:Oct 12, 2005 3:46 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1012 Views
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Bob works for DOT. His duties are based in the western part of the state and he lives in one of the flood stricken towns. He called last night and said that the news media is not exaggerating. The devastation is real and awful.
He spoke of roads that drop off to nothing. Cliffs on either side as the land and sometimes half the road is washed away. One wrong move will put a car in the water.
I fear its not over yet as more rain is forecasted, heavy at times.
My prayers go out to those affected
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Who do you think you're kidding
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Posted:Oct 11, 2005 4:48 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1416 Views
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NE drama queen visits my blog, then on to Song, Bitchy, Ohboy etc etc. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out who this is although I did fight against the obvious for awhile. I couldnt imagine that given the respect and consideration given to this person, he would resort to this. I am usually a good judge of character, go figure
What is this all about? Is it so important to anyone where they rank on NoStrings? Goodness knows most find NoStrings to be a diversion, a place to wile away a little time, sorta like a tv program. Yes, friends are very important and this is a medium for connecting with them everyday. But to care whether or not you have a following!!! I just dont get it. I'm supposed to, supposed to get it. I'm supposed to be in a constant campaign , jockeying for position as room leader. Truth is, i couldnt care less and those that know me know that to be true. So I truly do not understand wny there is cronism, "gangs", the Hatfields and McCoys. Give me a break, this is an adult chatsite where we come to exchange banter between life issues.
I do not frequent the chatroom in the evenings anymore. I find it tedious and as much as i used to enjoy it, its no longer fun. Early am's still are and i hope they remain so.
The New England room in NoStrings had the potential to be the greatest room on NoStrings. The meetngreets were awesome, friends were abundant and we had a wonderful time. There was room for everyone regardless of their agenda. Now, it seems if you don't prescibe to one mindset, you are labeled and disrespected.
I hosted the first NE meetngreet back in 2003 , it was a wondeful time. Since then, there have been many meets and many themes. I have attended parties from Mardi Gras to a meet given {by Song and I} for Nikons stateside visit. All very different and all fun.
There is room for everyone and everyones idea of fun. Unfortunately, not all think that way.
This Drama Queen is a perfect example of that. Labeling myself and my friends as "cronies" and making fun of the way we do things. Notwithstanding that every meet done in the "old fashioned" way has been extremely well attended and by affers alone. Other sites were not invited to boost the numbers and a great time has always been the outcome.
Theres room for everyone here, get that through your vindictive little heads!! I am offended! My blog hasnt been violated but a friends has and that offends me. Neither she nor I would ever delete derogatory remarks, we're too upfront and brave for that. But understand that if this continues, I will be upfront about stuff and will no longer feel that i have to offer the respect i have so far.
I have started a thread in the "People" group just for you Drama Queen. Leave blogs alone , respect those who write them and if you need to spew venom, have the courage to do so in the thread dedicated to you. I know this is too much to ask, but how about using your true handle, stop hiding behind a fake name, you know it doesnt work
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very upsetting
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Posted:Oct 10, 2005 6:42 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1286 Views
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I have a friend. We've known each other for years, raised our together. Her current situation is dire and i have no idea how to help her.
Before i commit this to "paper", let me say, she's not an AFFer, not even a computer user. Only one other person who might read this knows of whom i speak.
This lady has not one bit of common sense. She has an "artists" temperament interspersed with an Ostrich's ability to sink her head into the sand and ignore the obvious. She's always been this way and there is no talking realism to her, she doesnt hear.
During the time i've known her, she's had three houses. Every move has cost her dearly and those of us watching tried to no avail to make her see the inevitable. Her reasoning is so bizarre that i can't begin to put it into words. Suffice it to say, that she made the final big mistake last year and now, she's paying the price and I dont know how to help her.
This lady was widowed very young. Her were two and three weeks old when her husband of a very short time died of a brain tumor. At the time, she owned a house, mostly paid for due to an accident settlement. She raised her alone, on social security and with the extreme generousity of her Mother. Her attended private schools, she raised dogs for extra income, but mostly they cost her. Her Mother subsidized her income but she still made many mistakes ending up in a house that she could not afford and her reasons for selling each home were bizarre to say the least. Each move percipitated by some notion that the "neighbors" were out to get her.
Last year the final sale happened. She came out of it with little money and we all begged her to do something realistic. But, sigh, that didnt happen. She had two old dogs {12 and 10} and three old cats and she refused to part with them. I understand that she had given up many animals at the time as she disbanded her kennel, but common sense should have prevailed. I offered to let her move in with me for a time. Her nest egg was very small {profits from this last house were under 20.000} Each move put her in jeopardy as she had to go to mortgage companies that were for those who have less than good credit. You know the ones, high interest, hidden costs etc. She could have come to stay with me, saved her money and thought things thru. But the dogs couldnt come. I had a "no dog" lease. Instead she made a decision to move into an apartment that cost her 54.00 less than her monthy ss check so she could keep the animals. Obviously, her capital would be used up as she had nothing left after paying the rent. We tried to tell her, please please, get on a housing list or something so when the nest egg is gone and probably the dogs {remember they are old}, she'd have something in the works. She wouldnt listen, didnt see the forest for the trees, wouldnt or couldnt see down the road.
This woman is generous, I'll say that. She keeps a notebook of birthdays and at the beginning of each month, when her check came in, she would buy that months gifts. She did the same for Christmas, sending gifts to people she knew all over the country. These werent expensive gifts, the dollar store is her favorite shopping place, but when the lists number in the hundreds, even the dollar store items add up. She kept things organized, this year the men get socks, next year gloves, can't repeat socks so lets see, wallets this year. Was a way of life for her and she continued it, even when all she had to dip into was her small profit from the sale of the house. I could see the handwriting on the wall. I wish I had been able to make her see it.
And so here it is, a year later. The old dogs are still alive, so are the cats. Her money is gone. She has less than three hundred dollars in the bank and since she didnt make any plans for the future, she is in worse shape than she was a year ago.
Her Mother was still alive until recently. She gave my friend a check to purchase a newer used car as the old one was on its last legs. Instead of using the money to buy the car, my friend banked it and took on a car payment. The funds bought her a few more months of living but now she has a car payment on top of it all. She also took on a loan thru beneficial even tho i tried to tell her that borrowing funds at a huge interest rate, to put them in a savings account at a tiny interest rate made no sense. She did it and it bought her a few more months. Now its payback time.
I am so concerned. I spend every day trying to help her but the fact is, there is little help out there. She surely qualifies for housing help but the lists are long and she will not take the necessary steps. Her head is in the sand. All she does is cry and say she will not give up her animals. She has it in her head that she's been a good tenant so her landlord is going to allow her to stay. I cannot convince her that being a good tenant means she paid her rent on time. Once she cant do that, she is no longer a good tenant! This is it. This month. Her lease is up on November 1 and surely she will be homeless. People have offered her a place to stay. I have, others have. But no one is prepared to take in five animals. I can only do so much. I've made all the phone calls i can, got all the information i can. She needs to follow up but she hasnt as yet. Time is running out.
It would be easy to say she made her bed, its her fault. Thats what her are saying. They are now young adults with lives of their own. They worry, but are in no position to help her. I cant find an answer but i cant turn my back either. What to do, what to do. I have run out of ideas.
I feel guilty that I am now in a little place of my own, safe, affordable. I did what i had to do to get here and it wasnt easy! I offer what i can, mostly advice cuz i dont have much else. She wont listen and time is running out.
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What to do
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Posted:Oct 9, 2005 4:47 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
908 Views
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My friend Bob is a very good friend. He has been in my life for two years.I care about him very much and its obvious that he cares for me.
We have had sex and, at one time, he urged me to move in with him. Something I couldnt do.
Here is the problem. Bob would like to have our relationship include sex and I have no desire to do so. I don't think its him, i think its just that i have no desire for sex period. Because of my heart condition i take a lot of medication just to stay alive, maybe thats it. I know I am affected by it, driving for one thing is no longer something i just take for granted. I am aware of the my limitations but, hey, i'm alive.
The problem is that Bob doesnt willingly accept this. I have told him on numerous occasions that i have no desire to have sex and that he was free to end our friendship. I would certainly understand. He stays. He's very good to me. I can count on him to help if the car breaks down, if something needs moving. He's a good man . Another good friend, one I confide in, and one who will be readily identified soon tells me this "ahh for Christs sake boink the guy, he's good to you, whats the big deal" Should I? I dont want to, therefore, I shouldnt, right!!!
This is becoming a big problem in my life. Bob makes me uncomfortable because he brings this up all the time. He constantly makes remarks about sex and the fact that if i gave it a chance, he is sure i'd like it. I find myself pulling away from the simpliest gesture of friendship, a kiss, a hug. Why, cuz i know he takes all of these little signs of caring as signs of sexual desire. Not wanting to give false signals, I dont encourage any signs of affection. Thats kinda sad, cuz, i'd like to give him hugs, but instead I avoid them like the plague. I guess I'm frigid, what a thought!!!
He's coming over today as he does every Sunday. My car is on the fritz and he'll work on it. He'll make dinner. He suggested this rather than go out as its a miserable rainy day. After dinner, he'll stretch out on my couch and nap. Our relationship is like that. Predictable. We go out for a drive, maybe a flea market, maybe a drive to see his . We go somewhere for lunch or back to his house to grill or my house for a meal. We watch TV, his choices, mostly old reruns of Walker or Matlock and I field sexual innuendi. I did just this for many years as a married woman, its boring and its predictable. Could this be the problem? Who knows. I just know i am not interested in going to bed and i feel guilty about it.
Would things be different if our relationship were different? If we went out, set the stage, slow danced, listened to music? I dunno and i will never know, cuz thats just not him. He's a good and loyal friend. I count on him but is that fair? He's been used by women in the past. Women who took advantage of his giving nature by promising a deeper relationship only to end things when they go what they wanted. I do not want to do this to him and i have been as honest as i know how. Sigh, this is a difficult situation and, as much as i feel badly for him, I feel badly for me too.
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Once in awhile
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Posted:Oct 8, 2005 5:11 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
914 Views
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I love a rainy day!! I wish it was just a little bit colder as that lends to that cozy feeling you get when inside looking out!
I'll make a pot of homemade soup today , play my music and clean the apartment. Rainy day activities!
A pigeon visited my balcony yesterday. I'm ten floors up and often i see birds flying below me. This traveler perched on my railing for awhile and i stood not a foot away from him while he rested and watched me. I saw the band on his leg and realized that this was no ordinary pigeon. He knew where he was going and after a brief stopover to rest or get his bearings off he went. A little thing, but one that gave me pleasure.
I have been watching a spider, again on the balcony railing. I have a difficult time with spider webs, ever since reading "Charlottes Web. I cant seem to sweep them away. The intricacy of their work fascinates me. This web was between the vertical slats , big, complex, unique. This morning its gone. Every vestige of it, I wonder, prolly the wind but it has survived wind before. Maybe the pigeon!!
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Happy Birthday Mom
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Posted:Oct 7, 2005 5:02 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
1143 Views
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My Mother turned 80 this week. She is a truly remarkable woman.
As a young girl growing up she was a beauty! A popular basketball player {hence a nick that followed her thru life{ "Flip"}and a wonderful dancer! She met a young handsome sailor {My Father} and looked forward to a life of excitement and adventure!
In 1950 she was a young wife, in love with the man {my Father} that she had married just five years earlier after eloping to join her serviceman serving in WW11. As she tells it, she awoke one morning with pain in her legs. My Father rubbed them {the worst thing you can do} until it was realized that something dreadful was wrong. When she arrived at the hospital she was paralyzed from the neck down. She lay in the hospital bed, in isolation, unable to move while she listened to the nurses arguing which would have to care for her. {They were afraid of contagion, most were young Mothers themselves. Little by little in what seems like the makings for a TV movie of the week, she started to regain movement. First her little finger which she kept secret until she could move her upper body
I never knew my Mom in any other way. She couldnt walk like other Moms, that was a fact of life. As a youngster i, at times, resented it. As if she chose to be in a chair. I told my Grandmother once that I was mad a Mom cuz my poor Nanny had to walk while Mom could ride in a chair with wheels!!
B ack then, there were no agencies to help. She improvised. Her babies were put in slings that she hoisted from crib to floor with her strong arms. There she changed diapers. Her wash was rolled in front of her to the back steps where she would lower it down to the ground followed by lowering herself down the steps and back in the chair to go to the clothesline.
The dream ended for my parents and Mom was left with three young to raise alone. She mastered walking to a degree by then. She could negotiate from one solid surface to another if the distance was short. She drove. She had a small carpet covered block of wood that she placed between the gas and brake pedal. She rested her feet on that and from that position, moved her toes between the pedals. I still remember that little woman in her big ol Chrysler New Yorker! She went to work when we were older, at a bank in Nashua. Except for a little help parking the car, she held her own.
My Mom dated. I guess I didn’t equate it to dating back then but that’s what it was. Nothing held her down. She rode as a passenger on motorcycles, took rides in small planes, swam and baked the best tollhouse cookies in the world!!
There was a second marriage and Mom and her new husband enjoyed the finer things in life for many years. They traveled, bought homes and for a lot of years were very happy. They ended up in Florida where they had a condo on the ocean. He died a few years later.
She continued to live in Fla and with just a little help from friends managed to fill her life. Post polio syndrome had put her back in a chair by then. She had a scooter, and wow, it was hard keeping up with her!!!
A stroke ended that. My brothers made the decision that she could no longer live alone and a few years ago she sold her home and moved into a beautiful assisted living facility here in town where she resides today
Mom is still active and bright , her mind is sharp as is her tongue a lot of the time!! She still has the ability to reduce me to a scolded little girl!!
I think back over the years and what she overcame. Its amazing!! Maybe not so for folks born of that generation. They had more backbone back then. They accepted what was dealt them and worked at solutions rather than whine and wait for solutions to be found by others. We should all pay a lot more attention to the senior citizens in our lilfe. People of my age will be the next ones, can we offer the same legacy? I Hope so
Happy Birthday, Mom. You are quite a gal!!!
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