Airport Security Revisited
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Posted:Aug 17, 2005 6:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
15149 Views
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I realize that getting the kinks out of a system takes time, but some things are just ridiculous. For example whose names are the same or somewhat similar to names on the Federal "no-fly list" are being prevented from flying. We are talking infants and toddlers here. under 2 yrs. do not need tickets, but many parents buy them so they will have their own seat. That gets these youngsters entered into the system and "voila" they can become suspected terrorists. Flights are being missed as parents franticly try and fax passports and other documents to TSA bureaucrats.
TSA instructs the airlines not to deny boarding to under 12, or select them for extra security checks, but this common sense policy has not prevented some overeager officials from barring them until all the "i's" are dotted and the "t's" are crossed.
While I understand that some cutoff age needs to be determined, I think that 13 yr. olds are still too young to be considered dangerous. (unless of course you live with one!) 
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4
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The BlogLand Cookbook
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Posted:Aug 15, 2005 9:43 am
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2009 12:12 pm
18776 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . THE AFriendFinder TATTLER PRESENTS
. . . . . . . . . . . . THE BLOGLAND COOKBOOK
LIMEY PIE
By expatbrit49
Not much of a pie, but well worth the buy. Limey pies are in great demand not due to any miracle of British culinary aptitude, (which remains uninspiring on a global scale). Their popularity stems from the shrewd marketing campaign in which the inside of each box is adorned with full color photographs pilfered from expats secret web source. Discard the Limey Pie, but save the box. These boxes are suitable for framing.
Sensually Catatonic Phoenix a la Katey
By SensuallyKatey
Roast Phoenix with Brandy Sauce and spiced the Universal Seductress way. The interesting thing with this recipie is that every time you make it it comes out different. As if reborn and ready to delight the palate all over again in new and exciting ways.
Bella's Bon Bons
By Bella_
Chocolate smothered truffles designed to stimulate the eye as well as feed the soul. So seductive they begin to melt before they get in your mouth.
DAGWOOD SANDWICH
By BLONDIE
Piled high with lots of meat this sandwich is very popular with local law enforcement agencies. Served with BLONDIE'S special buns.
FLYING PENGUIN A LA KING
By tala4u2
An unusual dish from an unusual chef. This recipie is brilliant since it can only be prepared by someone else. You never have to cook it yourself which leaves you time to burn down a few taverns while dinner is being prepared. The perfect dish for the person who eschews work whenever possible. It is in high demand with both royalty and revolutionarys alike.
JayR's BLUE STATE SPECIAL
By JayR63
LIBERAL servings of diner style favorites. They're not just for Democrats either. They have been known to choke quite a few Republicans from time to time. Coming soon to a RED state near you!
PAPPY'S SCRAMBLED EGGS
By papyrina
No one knows how to prepare this dish since the recipie is so garbled and error prone it is difficult to read. However, it is precious to some.
SQUAW BREAD
By mzhunyhole
Frank and to the point squaw bread that works well with any meal. Served warm and fresh this bread is good in bed.
Magical Mystical Meat
By LoyaltyandHonor
Lovingly prepared the medieval way, only virgin cattle are suitable for this recipie. This meat is as pure as the driven snow.
PROFESSOR'S POTASH
By dz2502
Prepared and served in historical Canadian CROCKERY.
SUN DRIED RAISIN MUFFINS
By AmberSolaire
These muffins are unique due to the special care in the sun-drying techniques utilized in Amber's Utility Muffin Research Kitchen. They never burn.
SHAVED GROWLER PIE
By MrsGreenhenky
Formerly the unshaved version was immensely popular in Scotland. Now the shaven style growler is all the rage throughout the world.
BARBIE BUNZ
By Barbiebunny69
Hot cross buns prepared with WHIPPED potatos. Caution should be used when munching on them in hotel lobbys. The potted plants want to eat them too.
HEAVENLY BODIES
By starlight runner
These meals are to be prepared and eaten under starlight and moonlight. Popular on a planetary scale and spread throughout the universe by the astute reporting of NANCY STARLIGHT. Recently unveiled and revealed to BlogLanders who have all become instantly enamored of her heavenly body.
PERFECT PANTIES
By sexyeyes375
Eternally wet every morning, these edible panties are not just for breakfast anymore.
MY MEAL
By duststormdiva
Still searching for the perfect name, this recipie is on hold for a while.
ROCKING ROLLS
By rockwriter58
Not just for rock-and-rollers, this dish has found a home with blues, jazz and big band fans as well. Frank Zappa is thought to be the inspiration as the items used in the recipe are all found in The Dangerous Kitchen.
DC's DUCKLINGS
By DCEbony
Ugly Ducklings ripped apart with sarcastic glee.
PERFECT TEA
By CoffeeNoCream
The only way to brew. Uniquely found only in teahouses franchised by Coffee.
GREENEYES AND HAM
By greeneyesatl05
Works well with non-spousal local diners. Out of towners rarely eat, but they are well chewed.
SCREEN SPLATTER COFFEE
By talldarkavg1
This is very easy to fix. Just sit down with a cup of coffee and read his blog. SCREEN SPLATTER COFFEE will be all over the place in no time.
COLD TURKEY
By ExploreMore4Me
The perfect food for those battling blog and internet addictions.
SIZZLING CHATEAUXBRIAND
By Sizzle364
Only served at Chateaux Sizzle. Prepare for your meal by enjoying the fabulous amenites of the home spa, lovingly administered by our good friend Sizzle364.
GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN INVISIBLE DIET
By Apolybear, sporty4fun, Mackey, postingnick, leyndokona, candy69sosweet, and others.
Once famous dishes now gone the way of the dinosaur. This diet consists of absolutely nothing at this point in time.
LURKERS LEFTOVERS
By THE LURKER
Old food brought to the table again by the infamous LURKER. Being served in a basement under you now.
PUBLISHERS POWER-PLAY SPECIAL
By The PUBLISHER. This activity is totally INSANE. Specially prepared for meglomaniacs bent on controlling BlogLand.
PICKLED PECCARY
By pigcancook
Nothing but pure pork. Chauvinisticly prepared by the greatest bane to feminine wiles who ever walked, the IMMORTAL
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .( @ )
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .pigcancook
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15
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Airport Security
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Posted:Aug 10, 2005 6:27 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
15603 Views
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In the United States, the National Transportation and Safety Board is charged with making sure that no weapons make their way onto airplanes. I do not generally carry weapons around with me so I do not really worry about it when I fly. I do carry certain tools with me though.
I recently flew out of Charlotte-Douglas International airport to Orlando Florida. I had no problem going through security with my carry on luggage. I passed through a metal detector and my luggage was scanned separately as well. I boarded, and had a nice flight.
The return journey through the Orlando airport security was a bit different. The NTSB down there were a bit more diligent. When my carry on luggage passed through the scanner something in there prompted them to pull me aside and search my bag. Inside they found a 3" pocket knife, a multi-tool that also had a 3" blade, two pairs of scissors, and two butane lighters. All of them were banned items. All of them passed through similar detectors in Charlotte a few days before and flew with me in the cabin of the airplane. I had never given them a second thought.
When I told them that all of that stuff was in my possession on the earlier flight, they laughed and shrugged their shoulders.
In June, I flew the same stuff out of Charlotte to Philidelphia and back again without detection at either airport. Obviously NTSB training is not uniform as yet throughout the land.
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11
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If 6 was 9
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Posted:Aug 7, 2005 9:01 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
15111 Views
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If 6 turned out to be nine men would get pregnant rather than women. Haiti would be the worlds only superpower. The Cubs would be world champs. And my mother would mind her own business.
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7
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CHIEF BLONDE SATISFIED WITH JAIL EXPERIENCE
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Posted:Jul 31, 2005 10:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
17017 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
CHIEF BLONDE SATISFIED WITH JAIL EXPERIENCE
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF BLONDENEEDSSEX has been enjoying her incarceration according to TATTLER sources involved in the case. She has her hand picked policeman attending to her comfort needs. This as yet unnamed cop has been reassigned to jail duty for the specific purpose of making certain that the popular occupant of cell 69 is cared for and pampered.
CHIEF BLONDE has been jailed for 5 days on contempt charges for refusing to reveal her source in the Revolution Rumor controversy. While she never actually submitted her story, the government is looking for the leak which launched the story in the first place.
The TATTLER finds this odd, since in her role as Deputy Mayor CHIEF BLONDE is already well placed in the government. The PUBLISHER believes that a coup d'etat is in the planning stage and is being formented from the office of Town Planner expatbrit49 .
In the meantime, CHIEF BLONDE has requested that all efforts to free her be deferred for a few more days. She has a few more needs for her personal cop to attend to.
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5
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CHIEF BLONDE JAILED!
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Posted:Jul 25, 2005 3:10 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
17393 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . .AFriendFinder TATTLER
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF BLONDENEEDSSEX JAILED!
Journalist Refuses To Reveal Source
Early yesterday morning BLONDENEEDSSEX , Editor-In-Chief of the BlogLand rag AFriendFinder TATTLER, was hauled into the local jail for her refusal to reveal the source of rumors pervading the Land of Blog that REVOLUTION is in the air.
As she was whisked away, she was heard to mutter "I won’t be held in bondage for long when the Wizard gets wind of this."
According to The PUBLISHER , the TATTLER will stand by its CHIEF. Freedom of the PRESS to protect its sources is a mainstay of journalism.
RELEASE CHIEF BLONDE NOW! There is not the slightest contemptuous bone in her fair body!
A campaign to free her is being organized. Interested volunteers should report to the rear of the TATTLER Building located in the middle of Fornication Avenue.
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9
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Beauty Knows No Pain
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Posted:Jul 15, 2005 8:05 pm
Last Updated:May 1, 2006 5:10 pm
19841 Views
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That's right, beauty knows no pain. No matter how uncomfortable, if you think it will make you more beautiful you will stand in line for it. Sitting for hours applying makeup to a base. Gluing eylashes above your eyeballs. Push up bras. Suck-it-in girdles. Cramming size 6 feet into size 4 shoes. Twisting tin foil in you hair then wrapping it in solution for a while. Packing mud on your faces (or some sort of green muck), with only eyeballs, and teeth showing. Plucking hairs from your eyebrows. Bikini waxing. Implants. Lyposuction. Tummy tucks. So, you don't like your nose? Choose a new nose from a catalogue. It doesn't hurt... (much).
Are ya beautiful yet? Well, you were beautiful before you even started.
Beauty knows no pain
So what you cryin about
Girl
Even if yer plain
You could be tryin it out
Girl
Beauty is a bikini wax n waitin for yer nails to dry
Beauty is colored pencil, scribbled all around yer eye
Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die
Beauty is a
Lie
Excerpted from Beauty Knows No Pain by Frank Zappa
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31
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(Page:)
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BlogLand Advertising Campaign
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Posted:Jul 10, 2005 12:16 pm
Last Updated:Mar 4, 2007 5:34 pm
18796 Views
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. . . . . . . . . . . . . AFriendFinder TATTLER
ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN UNDERWAY ALL BlogLanders ENCOURAGED TO CONTRIBUTE
The staff at the AFriendFinder TATTLER is pleased to announce that a campaign is being launched to attract sponsors (and stir the creative juices of BlogLanders in general). Do you have a product or service you wish to foist on the citizens of BlogLand? The TATTLER can be your vehicle for launching your ideas. We have already recieved numerous advertising ideas, some of which are listed below.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . COVER THE LIE RINGBAND TONER
This specially designed skin toner is very effective in masking the little white circles that appear when married folks remove their wedding bands before stepping out. Available in Eurasian, Caucasian, Native American, Latin, Oriental and African. Call 1-800-4DECIET.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . FLY BlogLand AIRWAYS TO CHICAGO
BlogLand Airways has created a direct shuttle to Chicago with special rates for conventioneers. Anticipating the particular needs of BlogLanders, "private" booths are available for rent in 15 minute blocks. A fully stocked bar will be available for those who need to fortify themselves in order to fly high. Movies will also be provided via live feed from the (not so) private booths. Reserve your flight reservation today! Call 1-800-SKY-GASM for details.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . CAUGHT-IN-THE-ACT DETECTIVE AGENCY
Have you been spending so much of your spare time cheating on your spouse that you have lost track of what he or she has been up to all this time? Do you wonder if they have been cheating too? Do you even care? Well, whether you care or not, it is always desirable to be informed about what is happening behind your back. With CAUGHT-IN-THE-ACT DETECTIVE AGENCY you can rest assured that the activities of your spouse will be monitored, documented, and filmed. Sure it's a total invasion of their privacy, but hey why should moral considerations stop you now? Besides, for some of you it can be a good thing to have a private dick on hand. Call 1-800-GET-EVEN.
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10
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When JFK Was Shot
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Posted:Jul 5, 2005 8:33 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
17833 Views
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I remember when JFK was shot. I was in second grade. The grown-ups were making a big fuss over it. I felt really bad that our President was dead. I was so angry that this could even be done. The slaying of our national leader. I remember the entire school getting out of class to go to the auditorium and the cafeteria to watch the funeral procession.
I was fascinated by the entire ceremony. The carriage. The flag draped coffin. The honor guard stepping with such deliberate precision. The widow all dressed in black. All those images I observed as they unfolded; television was a fairly new medium for elementary schools in those days.
Most of all I remember that beautiful . With the stirruped boots. Empty, and backward facing. That image struck me very deeply, invoking emotions of sadness, loss, and fear. Yet also of pride, security in tradition, and a desire for revenge.
The Day JFK Was Shot was noteworthy to many people who lived in those times. For me however, the emphasis was different. You see, about the time the President met his fate my beloved Copper was struck by a car and killed. That day to me is The Day Copper Got Run Over. It just so happened that JFK was slain too.
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9
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A Place Where I used to Live - Musket Lane
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Posted:Jun 30, 2005 5:32 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
18670 Views
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When I was a we used to live on a street called Musket Lane. It was a suburb of a suburb of Rochester, in upstate N.Y. Musket Lane was a U-shaped street and we were one of the first families to move in. It was a brand new development, far from the city. I watched all the other houses being built and saw the families as they moved in.
I was proud of living on a street called Musket Lane. It invoked thoughts of Minute Men and heros of the Revolution. I was about 7 years old, and I thought that the heros of the Revolution were cool. When I played I used to imagine that I was a hero too. I had my trusty musket stick, and I would patrol Musket Lane ceaselessly. I was on the lookout for Redcoats, and manys the time I narrowly escaped death at their hands. Often, those dastardly Redcoats would have Indians with them too, and Indians were the hardest to defeat. They would sneak in and attack from behind. Somehow, I always rallied at the darkest hour, when it looked as if I had no chance.
But as soon as I heard my mom ringing the dinner bell, I dispatched them quickly and ran for home.
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9
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So, Ya Wanna Be A Nation Do Ya?
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Posted:Jun 28, 2005 4:26 pm
Last Updated:Mar 18, 2008 7:19 am
19698 Views
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Posting has become a pain in the ass. I will try it as a comment again. Jeeze, banned again.
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10
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testing in search of banned words
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Posted:Jun 25, 2005 9:23 am
Last Updated:Sep 27, 2015 2:12 pm
21117 Views
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Hmm, I wonder if all posts have banned words today, or just the one I wanna do? Or maybe it is the pic? Oh well, testing...
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19
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To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.
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