CITIZENS OF AMERICA, HEAR ME!
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Posted:Nov 6, 2006 10:01 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2006 5:15 pm
18011 Views
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Citizens of America! Will you vote today? It is your CIVIC DUTY to participate in your government!
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BlogLand Nursery Rhymes 2
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Posted:Oct 24, 2006 9:22 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2010 9:25 pm
19983 Views
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Hush little bloggers, don't say a word.
keithie's gonna bring y'all something absurd.
If the absurd sorta makes you grin,
keithie's kinda twisted so come on in.
If you've come in it must be time,
for keithcancook's BlogLand Nursery Rhymes.
Jez, be nimble,
Jez, be quick,
Jez, bend over
and get licked.
Jez moaned high,
Jez moaned low,
Jez rolled over
and swallowed my pole.
Definate Trouble cannot sit pat,
it only makes her mean.
Padding her way all through your blogs
She's an original comment queen.
Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!
My ol pal is an Englishman.
Blogging through his other head,
the King of Pervs has made his bed.
Barbiebunny, boots to thigh,
kissed the boys and made them sigh.
Now when the boys come out to play,
Barbiebunny has her way.
Hickory, dickory, dock.
Vanna needed some cock.
The cock did cum,
then Vanna did run,
(and told wahinie where she could get some).
Candy, Candy, sweet and randy,
Where did you learn to blow?
In your loving brits arms, you sampled his charms,
Watching his pleasure grow.
Little Bo Papy has lost her blog,
and doesn't know how to find it.
Leave it alone, and it'll come home,
dangling code and misspellings behind it.
Hush-a-bye, MOfun,
riding on top.
Don't blow in his ear,
or his peter will pop.
When peter pops,
his hard-on will fall,
And down will come MOfun,
still needing to ball.
Want more?
Take a gander at these:
BlogLand Nusery Rhymes
and
Another BlogLand Nursery Rhyme, by keithcancook
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19
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THE BLOGLAND COOKBOOK TWO
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Posted:Oct 5, 2006 6:34 pm
Last Updated:Oct 22, 2015 11:35 am
20971 Views
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THE VENTING BLOG PRESENTS
THE BLOGLAND COOKBOOK TWO
PERVY PLATTER
by expatbrit49
Assorted vegetables and other odds and ends (empty wine bottles, hot buns, and anything else not nailed down) thrown together with a little PPS sauce on the side. This dish puts the "crude" in crudites.
JEZZIE-BELLS
by womenlooking4fun
Spicy bell peppers stuffed with whored comments and smothered in lezzie sauce. Best eaten by the perpetually horny.
SALTY SAILOR STEW
by ready2lay
Large chunks of rants and raves, mellowed with a fine dose of meds. Served with language favored by sailors worldwide.
FREUDIAN CRISPS
by DIVISION77
Fried in the div tradition, these crisps are bound to taste good since he knows you better than you do.
PISS-TAKE PIE
by economickrisis
No telling what this will taste like as we can't be sure what it is at first.
PANAMA BREAD
by PrincessKarma
Steadily rising ever higher, panama bread will take you anywhere you wanna go. (except Toronto). *HIC*
EGO GRANDE
by travelingintexas
Fit for any aspiring comment king and served in Texas sized portions.
SEVEN LAYER DIP
by AmericanBaroness
Self-explanatory for Baroness fans.
ANA'S TENDER KISSES
by Ana_6973
Dainty pecks and big wet ones come together nicely in this delicious confection. She delivers! (all over BlogLand)
SLIPPY SLOPPY JOES
by sj365
Some of the best fare in BlogLand. Direct from the heartland this stuff is great when you can find it. Served rare(ly) and on a seasonal basis.
BUGGERED SHEEP BUTT
by bulgingboy
Spread wide kiwi style, these butts are self-basted and creamy. Try em, fer fucks sake!
FRENCH BROAD
by deliciousngood
Only the creamiest butter may be spread on this french broad. Bring a blanket, some brie, and a bottle of wine. Dine along the water, under under genuine Blue Ridge Mountain Moonlight.
This exceptional broad is marvelously moist and gets even wetter when eaten slowly. (Take a care or you will soon have a French Broad River). ~groan~
LIMEY PIE
by expatbrit49
Not much of a pie, but well worth the buy. Limey pies are in great demand not due to any miracle of British culinary aptitude, (which remains uninspiring on a global scale). Their popularity stems from the shrewd marketing campaign in which the inside of each box is adorned with full color photographs pilfered from expats secret web source. Discard the Limey Pie, but save the box. These boxes are suitable for framing.
(reprinted from the first edition due to Blogwide acclaim)
WAGGY'S POLLY
by waggypolly
Poached parrot with Oriental spices. Solly polly, it's the best I could do before work...
REDLIPS & MARINATED SEX TIPS
by redlipsprincess
A smorgasbord of tips from the lips. Educational dining at its best!
HYDRAGENIAS GREET-N-EAT
by Hydragenias
Always the first stop for new folks in town. A great opening course for any blogger.
SEXYFIT_HELPER
by sexyfitwoman
Create exciting new presentations for your tables with sexyfit_helper. Design your own plate or try one of her standard tem-plates. It's easy and fun.
WAHINIE'S BIKINI LUAU
by 1hotwahine
Load up the van and head to the beach for an authentic wahinian luau. Get leid in huts under real grass roofs.
HOT BLOG EATING CONTEST
by bustybettyboop
Step right up, it's all you can eat folks! Competition dining at its finest!
CELEBRITY LIST DINNER THEATER
by the frontpagebloggers and theirenemies
Great seats and entertaining eats. Brought to you by BlogLands Finest. Sit back and enjoy a drama. Served with a mandatory glass of pepto-bismal. Open seven days a week.
Want more?
Get yourself a copy of THE ORIGINAL BLOGLAND COOKBOOK
Containing recipes from these cusine conscious bloggers:
SensuallyKatey
Bella_
BLONDENEEDSSEX
Tala4u2
JayR63
papyrina
mzhunyhole
LoyaltyandHonor
dz2502
AmberSolaire
MrsGreenhenky
Barbiebunny69
starlight_runner
sexyeyes375
duststormdiva
rockwriter58
DCEbony
greeneyesatl05
Sizzle364
The PUBLISHER
and
pigcancook
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22
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Classic Comments #7
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Posted:Sep 30, 2006 8:46 am
Last Updated:Aug 5, 2015 9:59 pm
23472 Views
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The Venting Blog Presents: Classic Comments
Hi ! For this episode of Classic Comments we will venture into the comment area of The Venting Blog itself, where classic comments can be found in vast numbers.
In Selections From the BlogLand Dictionary 2 our good friend humboldthonni seemed to imply that she didn't use smiley faces and wouldn't until a certain one became available...
Todays choice, was recalled to me as I was diving in my own basement and remembered that I owed my ol pal expat an insult. Er, I mean a post.
Here ya go, ol pal.
On August 6th, 2006 honni states:
| When they have one for donkey's ass, I will start using em. |
keithcancook replies:
| They have one of those already, honni. All ya have to do is type this between two brackets: photo expatbrit49 |
For more Classic Comments see:
Classic Comments 1 (This one's a real hoot folks. Check it out)
Classic Comments 2 (love poetry between kcc and mzhuny)
Classic Comments 3 (a song for the BlogLand Retirement Home)
Classic Comments 4 (bad puns)
Classic Comments 5 (even worse puns)
Classic Comments 6 (slapstick comedy)
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13
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I Can't See
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Posted:Sep 28, 2006 2:02 pm
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2009 12:27 am
19626 Views
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"...Well, he was very upset, as you can understand
And rightly so
Because
The deadly Yellow Snow Crystals
Had deprived him of his sight
And he stood up
And he looked around
And he said:
I CAN'T SEE
(DO . . . DO DO-DO DO DO DO . . . YEAH!)
I CAN'T SEE
(DO . . . DO DO-DO DO DO DO . . . YEAH!)
OH WOE IS ME
(DO . . . DO DO-DO DO DO DO . . . YEAH!)
I CAN'T SEE
(DO . . . DO DO-DO DO DO DO . . . WELL!)
NO NO
I CAN'T SEE
NO . . . I . . .
He took a dog-doo sno-cone
An' stuffed it in my right eye
He took a dog-doo sno-cone
An' stuffed it in my other eye
An' the huskie wee-wee,
I mean the doggie wee-wee
Has blinded me
An' I can't see
Temporarily..." *
Yeah, like the fur trapper in Zappa's tale, I can't see.
The deadly Yellow Snow Crystals of age are sapping my sight. I've been using reading glasses for nearly ten years. I've been on 1.25 magnification for years but now they are no longer good enough.
I got lost the other day. Yep. Right here in my hometown. No problem. I pulled out my roadmap.
I couldn't see it. The lines were a blur. I could discern the major arteries. I knew where I was generally. But I could not see the connecting streets.
Talk about frustration. I strained. I strained harder. @$#%$^! I wadded up my map and tossed it in the back seat. Grrr! I stumbled on, eventually figuring out where I was.
Today I am the proud owner of some 2.0's 
* Excerpted from Nanook Rubs It, by Frank Zappa
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9
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FEAR STALKS BLOGLAND!
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Posted:Sep 24, 2006 5:29 pm
Last Updated:Oct 10, 2012 8:27 pm
35079 Views
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I recently began blogging with a blogger in good faith. As per usual (for me) I went into the basement and sorta checked out the blog over a few days or so.
The blogger became suspicious and suddenly believed that I may have been an invader, looking to stir up trouble by researching the history of the blog. I was asked to leave.
I don't blame the blogger. The handle has been listed in other blogs that I have also visited recently. And not in a very good light I should add. This blogger has apparantly been put on guard and fears harassment.
It is a shame when the basements of BlogLand can no longer be the playground of keithcancook. It's a shame that bloggers have become suspicious of any unfamiliar handle that enters their blog.
It's a shame that BlogLand has become a place of fear.
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132
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(Page:)
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Get Some While You Still Can...
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Posted:Sep 21, 2006 8:24 am
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2009 12:01 am
18725 Views
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I feel fortunate that I live in an era when I can yet walk in an unpoisoned natural ecosystem. I fear that some future generation will come and find that it is all gone. 
Have y'all walked the woods lately? Have ya smelled the wildflowers and heard the eagle's cry? Seen a fish jump for a bug on a lazy flowing river? Startle a big black snake and have a near heart attack? Moved along with the deer as they grazed the woods? Hear the snort of the swine, (and hope he's not coming your way)? Climbed on some big rocks? Watched a spider spinning her web?
Well, have y'all?
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41
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(Page:)
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Watching the evening news with a friend...
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Posted:Sep 11, 2006 3:23 pm
Last Updated:Mar 9, 2009 12:15 am
17491 Views
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I saw Rummy on the news. He had his arm in a wrap. I asked my friend, "What happened to his poor arm?"
He replied, "He went hunting with Cheney."
Then I hurt my wrist when I fell out of my chair laughing.
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10
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BLOGPLAYS
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Posted:Sep 10, 2006 5:52 pm
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2023 10:45 am
21891 Views
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BLOGLAND JEOPARDY
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HURTING FROM THE LOSS OF
HIS CHIEF, It's a Wonderful Blog, A
TWO-ACTOR BLOGPLAY STARRING
KEITHCANCOOK & KOOCNACHTIEK,
WRESTLED WITH THIS MOST
PERSONAL OF BLOG ISSUES.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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WHILE NOT NECESSARILY
MEDIEVAL ENTERTAINMENT,
BLOGLAND PRODUCTIONS,
THE MANAGING COMPANY
FOR THE PLAYS OF
KEITHCANCOOK HAS TERMED
ALL OF ITS BLOGWAY PLAYS
AS THESE.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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THE FIRST BLOGPLAY TO
APPEAR IN BLOGLAND WAS
Conversations From BlogLand High
WHICH SATIRZED THE GREAT
BLOGLAND ELECTION CAMPAIGN
LAUNCHED BY THIS NOW
PERVERTED BLOGGER.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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YA-OWE-ME-ONE CUM-BLOW-ME
AND HUNG SO-LOW WERE THE
ACCOMPLICES OF THIS SABER
SLASHING HERO IN THE
BLOGBUSTER BLOG WARS.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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RUSHED INTO PRODUCTION
FOR THE HOLIDAYS, BLOGLAND
PRODUCTIONS PRESENTED
THE HUGE MEGAPLAY
A BlogLand Christmas Carol
A SATIRE OF BLOGLAND THAT
REPRESENTED SCROOGE AS THIS.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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IN THE PERVLANDER PRODUCTION
(by expatbrit49) OF LORD
OF THE RINGS, GOOLAM
(played by keithcancook) MET HIS
FATE IN THIS HORRIBLE FASHION.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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IN THE PERVLANDER PRODUCTION OF
PERVY PAN CAPTAIN CANHOOK
(played by keithcancook) WAS SLAIN
IN THIS MANNER.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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THE BLOGPLAY bIG
WAS A SMALL PRODUCTION THAT
LARGELY REVEALED THE PLAYWRIGHTS
SENTIMENTS ON THIS COMMON
LITERARY ACTIVITY.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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FINAL JEOPARDY CATEGORY
BLOG
CONVENTIONS
| BY UNANIMOUS ACCLIMATION,
THE HONOR OF KING & QUEEN
OF BLOGLAND WAS BESTOWED
UPON THESE TWO CONVENTIONEERS
AT THE FIRST "OFFICIAL" BLOG
CONVENTION IN CHICAGO, 2005.
POST QUESTION INSIDE
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WANT MORE? TRY THESE CATEGORIES:
BLJ 1 SIX CATEGORIES
BLJ 2 EXPATBRIT49 and BLOG TRIVIA
BLJ 3 HOMETOWN BLOGLAND and COMPLETE THE RHYME
BLJ 4 MENS BLOG TITLES
BLJ 5 WOMENS BLOG TITLES
BLJ 6 COMMENT WHORING
BLJ 7 RHYME TIME
BLJ 8 THECLITICALS
BLJ 9 BLOG STRATEGIES
BLJ 10 BLOG DISEASES
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7
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Oy
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Posted:Sep 1, 2006 1:01 pm
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2015 8:28 pm
16795 Views
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Oh da heck with this! What's the point?
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14
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BLOG DISEASES
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Posted:Aug 29, 2006 10:25 pm
Last Updated:Dec 26, 2015 11:24 am
19779 Views
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BLOGLAND JEOPARDY
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BLOGGEROIDS
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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THIS AFFLICTION IS MOST OFTEN
SEEN IN POSTS FROM ELATED
BLOGGERS WITH GOOD NEWS TO SHARE.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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CHAUVINISM IS THE DOMINANT
SYMPTOM OF THIS INSIDIOUS
BLOGLANDIC SCOURGE.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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A POSTING DEFICIENCY.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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SOMETIMES CALLED BIG BLOG
DISEASE, SYMPTOMS INVOLVE AN
EVER WIDENING BLOG PAGE DUE
TO RUNAWAY CODE.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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TYPING WITH A LISP IS ONE
SYMPTOM OF THIS DISEASE,
CAUSED BY AN INVASION OF
DIP SHITS TO YOUR BLOG.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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A COMMON AFFLICTION TO POPULAR
LIST BLOGGERS IS THIS DISEASE,
IN WHICH POSTING SOMETHING
INTERESTING DAILY BECOMES
ALMOST PAINFUL.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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BLOGLAND IS RIFE WITH PROMISCUITY
AS BLOGGERS OPENLY ENGAGE IN SEX
ORGIES IN POST AFTER POST.
(PervLander Productions by
expatbrit49, comes to mind).
UNLESS YOU JUST SAY NO, (or play
one of keithcancook's roles in a
PervLander Production), SUCH
DANGEROUS ACTIVITY WITHOUT
PROTECTION CAN RESULT IN THIS
HORRID STB*
* (Sexually Transmitted Blog ).
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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ALL TOO COMMON IN BLOGLAND
THESE DAYS IS THIS DISEASE,
BROUGHT ON BY THE CONSTANT
HARASSMENT FROM A PERSISTANT,
AND PERNICIOUS BLOG TROLL.
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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THE BLOGGER KNOWN AS
KEITHCANCOOK HAS LONG SUFFERED
FROM THIS FORM OF DEMENTIA.
(he's insane ya know).
CLICK FOR QUESTION
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FINAL JEOPARDY CATEGORY
RETIRED
BLOGGERS
| SAYING HE BLOGS ONLY IN WINTER,
THIS "SUN" LOVING BRITISH BLOGGER HAS
BEEN SOLAIRELY MISSED BY HIS FANS.
POST QUESTION INSIDE
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WANT MORE? TRY THESE CATEGORIES:
BLJ 1 SIX CATEGORIES
BLJ 2 EXPATBRIT49 and BLOG TRIVIA
BLJ 3 HOMETOWN BLOGLAND and COMPLETE THE RHYME
BLJ 4 MENS BLOG TITLES
BLJ 5 WOMENS BLOG TITLES
BLJ 6 COMMENT WHORING
BLJ 7 RHYME TIME
BLJ 8 THECLITICALS
BLJ 9 BLOG STRATEGIES
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4
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To link to this blog (keithcancook) use [blog keithcancook] in your messages.
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