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Are you ready to quit?
Are you ready to learn?
Are you ready to find the spark inside and let it burn?
I'm the walls that close in
I'm the words you won't say
I'm the voices you choose to keep inside
And lock away
Everyday
****
I don't want to be flawless. When I go I want the cuts to show.
****
Passion. It lies in all of us, sleeping, waiting.
And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir.
Open its jaws and howl.
It speaks to us, guides us, passion rules us all.
And we obey, what other choice do we have?
Passion is the source of our finest moments.
The joy of love, the clarity of hatred,
and the ecstacy of grief.
It hurts sometimes more than we can bear.
If we could live without passion,
maybe we'd know some kind of peace.
But we would be hollow.
Empty rooms, shuttered, dank.
Without passion, we'd be truly dead.
****
'Cause sometimes you just feel tired, you feel weak
And when you feel weak you feel like you want to just give up
But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you want to just fall flat on your face and collapse
****
Music is like a tattoo,
and bands have to make music
where people are proud to wear your tattoo,
no matter what kind of music you like.
****
For some, music is not just a pastime,
It’s an undeniable fact of living,
A blissful slavery of mind, body and soul.
To rise above the ashes of mediocrity is rare,
Yet the gift of song is freely handed out to anyone who cares to receive it,
Instantly shattering our daily drudgery. The path to pursue more than the usual,
More than what is safe and known,
Is wrought with time-sharpened jagged blade s that cut deep,
Blocking many from the road to something greater,
Beyond the stunted imagination of their peers. Within the veins of the few,
Passion fills every sinew with a sweet unquenchable purpose,
Calming the fear of those treacherous paths,
Though every slice burns and bleeds,
Still they take each cut
And wear the scars with pride to signal their choice,
That undying pursuit of greater joy within every cord.
And so they say – Watch me bleed
****
When life knocks you down..calmly get back up, smile, and very politely, say, "You hit like a bitch."
****
I’ll never show you my cards, I won’t be playing a hand worth bluffing. But when you’re running with me, you won’t be wondering why you’ve fallen.
****
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Neverwake and Devour the Day 5/6/16
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Posted:Dec 10, 2016 8:08 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 10:4 am
5281 Views
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(6 pics)
I was bumming cause I had been trying to find someone to go see Neverwake my new fave Pittsburgh band and Devour the Day which the lead singer Blake was the drummer of a band Egypt Central that is no longer together that I saw 9 years ago
this is him and I then
and also Joey is the Bassist of Devour the Day he was the bassist of Egypt Central
this was him and I 9 years ago
I wanted to see these 2 bands together sooo bad. Plus I'd never seen Devour the Day live since they hadn't come near me since they had formed a few years prior. The show was May 6. It got to May 3, I had posted a few days prior on here if anyone wanted to go.
So this guy in his mid 40's contacted me. He's actually the reason I expanded my age preferences a bit. I mean I have to be attracted to the guy and we have to have stuff in common, but I've become a bit more lenient.
He sent me a message saying if he had known sooner he was actually wanting to go to that show (he works in Pitt) but ended up making other plans. I asked if there was any way he could reconsider? I was desparate lol. He got back to me later that day that he was able to but he had to work cause it was a friday so my friend drove me to Monroeville which is like a half hr from Pitt. She doesn't like driving in Pitt traffic.
What's funny is I wasn't really that attracted to him in the beginning and honestly wasn't planning on seeing him again. After the evening was over and we had talked, even though he was a nice guy, I just had no attraction. He wasn't ugly but I don't know, I wasn't feeling it. Of course I didn't know all this going into the meeting. I wanted to give him a chance since from the few messages we exchanged prior he seemed like an intelligent, respectful guy with great music taste. So rare to find.
Any way,I'm getting ahead of myself. So we get to the venue and we're running late, the opening act was on. That's ok, it wasn't either of the bands I came to see. I mean at that point it was like 7:30 and first band came on at 7.
Justin (Neverwake's guitairist) came over to me sometime in between before they came on and said hi).
Neverwake comes on and I go up by the stage, he stays in the back by the bar where he prefers. It's been quite awhile so I don't remember everything anymore but I had a blast.
After they get off I go up and get a drink. I get a special drink that doesn't have a name, tastes like a candy apple. Even the bartender liked it. lol
Then Devour the Day comes on so I go back up to the other side of the stage. This part is ingrained in my mind cause all 4 members of Neverwake were around me jamming out. They could've picked anywhere it wasn't crowded, but they all stood around me, maybe they didn't do it on purpose, but it was awesome to me. Doesn't take a lot to make me happy. At one point Johnny the lead singer was trying to get his ear monitor cords off and they were stuck and no one was helping him so I reached out and pulled them cause I saw where they were tangled. He thanked me and put them in his pocket, Again, little things. lol
Weeks later when that guy, I'm gonna call him J, and I were hanging out he told me he had been watching my butt a lot while I was up by the stage and I was like how? There were like people behind me and he said he had a good view. He also said if he wouldn't have been so shy at the time he wouldn't have left my side all night, which that night I probably wouldn't have welcomed it any way, but looking back with where things are now, it's best to grab every little moment you can.
After the show I went over and got 2 pics with Blake from Devour the Day. I even showed him the one from 9 years ago and he was like "OMG I look so thin" He definitely has beefed up. He didn't remember me, but I didn't really talk to him then, just got the pic. I also said I hated that pic of me cause I thought I looked like a poodle. So he said well we'll take 2 pics now. He pulled me close like we were bffs. I adore those pics. He was such a sweethart.
Here's one of them since they pretty much look the same
Next I got a couple pics with Johnny from Neverwake cause he was kinda hanging around with no one bugging him which is unusal, the first one I liked but he didn't so we took a second one which I hate and won't post lmao but he liked so we took a third.
He is an awesome guy and that show was kind of when I started to become friends with him.
Then we waited for a bit cause I had to talk to Joey from Devour the Day. I wanted to see if he remembered me and get a pic, cause 9 years ago I had spent a decent amount of time talking to him. Apparently he went out to their bus to change.
So just when I was about to give up, I mean almost all of every bands' gear had been taken away that's how late it was, he comes back in. I was like Hey Joey, you probably don't remember me. He gets this surprised look on his face and says Johnstown. So he didn't remember my name but remember the small town I'm from. lol We talked for a few min about things and I got a pic and then we left.
J took me home and I really thought that was the last time I'd see him. But that will have to wait for another entry.
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It's still happening...
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Posted:Nov 24, 2016 3:29 pm
Last Updated:Dec 24, 2016 2:48 pm
5379 Views
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Anyone who has been following my blog since spring 2015 or earlier will know my prior job before my current one, the tills at work always would come up short and we always had to pay out of pocket to make them right and it made me so mad.
A girl that lives up the street from us, my mom was sitting on the porch this past summer (I haven't been at that job since July 2015), and the girl came home and she was yelling so loud about how she was so sick of paying money back cause the tills were coming up short. We knew she worked there.
So yeah, apparently it's still going on. Cause one of my mom's worries (cause she's a big worrier) is it would magically stop when I quit, even though I wasn't the one doing it.
But nope still going on. I still maintain it's the store manager's wife who manages the office and has the store to herself every morning for an hour or more and she takes the tills in the back where there's no cameras to "recount" everything. Uh huh. We count everything when we close the store. Plus they were always saying they had no money but yet take 2 vacations a year.
Of course can't prove it and if you would suggest that, might as well dig your own grave. If the owner wasn't such an ass I'd have went to him, but honestly he doesn't deserve it if he can't come to the conclusion on his own.
I'm just glad I'm not there, am thankful for the job I have now, also that it is still going on. Not to the innocent employees it's affecting, but not that I left and all of a sudden it stopped ya know?
But if the owner were smart he would have it looked into. But he's not. Those in position of power normally aren't. A quote from the movie Ever After comes to my mind "A country's character is defined by its "everyday rustics", as you call them. They are the legs you stand on and that position demands respect."
Same can be said for an owner and what he thinks of his employees.
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Family and politics
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Posted:Nov 23, 2016 4:38 pm
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2016 8:32 am
6070 Views
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I don't want to get into politics on here, I see the wars in words that's caused. Oy vey. But on FB one of my cousins who I've met like twice in my life that's in her 50's, is spamming my page. Like I find random memes and share them. I don't go to other people's pages and start stuff. I may "like" stuff pertaining to politics on other's pages but that's the extent because I don't want to get into fights. Once before when stuff started getting out of hand and 1 of my ex-coworkers started getting pissed at me, I didn't single anyone out but made a general status saying it's my page, I can post what I want on my page and I'm not going to anyone else's pages and starting crap, so either scroll past my stuff or delete me if they can't handle it, and it stopped. This was before the election. Even now that it is over and that said person an our difference of opinion she has left me alone, and no she hasn't deleted me.
But my cousin omg she won't leave me alone since yesterday. She finds the memes I am randomly sharing and she's not even making valid arguments just replying WRONG (she uses all caps) or saying THAT'S THE WAY IT IS DUH. Things of that nature.
Finally just once I went to one thing she posted on her page where he had a meme that said "throw me to the wolves, I will return leading the pack" I replied "Or hiding in the corner crying and whining that they're picking on him." she replied You'll see come Jan 20th ...deal with it and stop whining he is the Pres elect"
I replied" I'm just giving you a taste of your own medicine. Respect me on my page and I'll do the same on yours. Stay out of the fire if you don't want burned."
Oh that set her off saying I was immature and I needed to respect my elders, etc. That she wanted me to delete her. Which she was the one who way back when she had added me. lol Remember this was after her harassing me on multiple of my posts on my page.
So I replied "Talk about who needs to grow up. I didn't come starting stuff on your page and spamming your posts. You're acting like a . We have a difference of opinion miss caps locks. If you can't accept that,that's pretty immature. And I don't give a Crap how old you are, respect is earned not freely given And so far you have done nothing to earn mine And have done everything to disrespect me by attacking my opinions on my page instead of just agreeing to disagree. It's called ignore it. Scroll past it. Not hard to do. And no I won't delete you, so you can tell people I couldn't handle it. Take a step back, take a breath and stop acting out of anger, thinking your opinion and views are the only 1."
This was all last night. she replied "MISS CAPS LOCKS SIGNING OFF....UM BOP A TICKY TOCK A DEW WOP A TITTY BOP....AND FYI I KNOW HOW TO SCROLL DOWN ON MY COMPUTER AND DRIVE A CAR...."
I didn't hear from her the rest of the night so I thought maybe she got it out of her system but no today she started again. Like one of her replies was as long as I keep posting she'll keep replying, freedom of speech. OMG. Like seriously. Yes it's a public page even though it's mine, I get it anyone can reply unless I block her. But it's the principle of the thing. She is family and starting this kind of drama, seriously? The whole side of that family is like this pretty much, well her age range anyways, which is why I don't bother with them. They're psychotic.
I seriously am about to start going on her page and start spamming her stuff. I mean it is my right too. She can't say anything then, since she's doing the same to me. I know what she's doing, she's tryin to force me to delete her. She may be older, but she sure as hell ain't smarter.
Even my one guy friend who he doesn't care if you're friend or enemy, if you're in the wrong he will tell you, which is why I value his opinion, got involved and has been replying that she need to stop and she has no brains.
But yeah this was more of a rant really.
For those of you who are going to say stop posting stuff, I shouldn't have to, it's my page. It's called respect. I mean she's a 50 some year old woman acting like a causing drama. Does she seriously have nothing better to do with her time?
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A Politician Passed Away And Visited The Afterlife, But Hell Wasn't Quite What She Expected.
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Posted:Oct 15, 2016 8:04 am
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2016 8:36 am
8081 Views
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While walking down the street one day, a presidential candidate was tragically hit by a car and died.
Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the politician.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really?, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the politician.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all her friends and other politicians who had worked with her.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the politician realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives her a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises.
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her, "Now it's time to visit heaven..." So, 24 hours passed with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity!' The politician reflects for a minute, then she answers quot;Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell."
So St. Peter her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to hell... Now the doors of the elevator open and she's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to her and puts his arm around her shoulders.
"I don't understand," stammers the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil smiles at her and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted!'
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Neverwake (new fave local band) 4/24/16
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Posted:Sep 28, 2016 8:27 pm
Last Updated:May 17, 2024 10:4 am
8087 Views
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I've been meaning to write about a lot of stuff. To start with, back in April I went to see a local Pittsburgh band Neverwake, that I had become a fan of the fall before. I started talking to the guitarist. I don't want to say we were bffs but it's cool to know a band member. This band is really good. Their lyrics are amazing. Very talented.
I actually met up with a guy from here and we went to the show. Nothing ever happened with the guy and actually now we don't even talk, no biggie. We really didn't have much in common.
Even though I had been talking to the guitarist, when we were there I didn't want to seem all fangirly and just approach him like we were good friends. I had met him a bit earlier cause I had bought my ticket off him and needed to pick it up. I met him at their van around the corner. Then the guy I came with and I went for some dinner at Jimmy John's
So anyways, I had his ph# and when the first band came on (there were 4 and they were 3) the sound system was so bad I barely could hear the lead singer. I texted him and asked if it was just me or was the sound bad? He said it was pretty bad.
The bands were pretty good, of course I was there for Neverwake and then the main act was really good. I enjoy them - Failure Anthem.
Afterwards is when the guitarist came up to me and we were talking. I had asked earlier if later on I could get a pic with all of them so he was trying to round them up. Also the lead singer, who I'd never talked to (he is smoking hot but like 5 yrs younger than me and has a gf) came up and shook my hand and he apologized for how bad the sound was, they could barely hear anything. While I'm sure it wasn't their best show, I enjoyed myself because the band is just talented and that shines across technical difficulties. I told him so. He thanked for for coming from 2 hrs away for them. I was glad I did.
I got my pic, don't really like how I look but that's ok. The 2 guys next to me are the guitarist and lead singer.
I also got a pic with the lead singer of Failure Anthem.
Was a great night.
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Abandoned homes
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Posted:Aug 16, 2016 7:06 pm
Last Updated:Nov 26, 2016 8:41 am
10829 Views
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How many of you have houses around your area that you just see and are so sad they're just abandoned and neglected? I walk a few times a week and also just when we're driving around, there seems to be more houses than there should be that are abandoned and nature is slowly taking back.
I always envison what they looked like when they were shiny new, just built. When families lived in them and took care of them. Filled with life, laughter, love. I imagine how many memories are imprinted in these places. A lot are around 100 years old, give or take. Imagine the history they've seen. In my town, there have been 3 floods since 1889 as an example.
I wonder what was the turning point where that last family moved and no one else wanted them.
It makes me wish I had endless money to buy them all and fix them up, give them a second chance. Hell if I was really rich, make them homes for the homeless or something useful.
Such a shame and waste.
I see the beauty in these old places and the new places they build now just can't compare to the feel and majesty of an older built home.
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Finally took the plunge
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Posted:Jul 25, 2016 6:57 pm
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2016 6:58 pm
12049 Views
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Also in April, I upgraded my phone to LG G4. Not the newest but it's an Android. I have had the same little flip phone with a manual keyboard, not touchscreen, not a smartphone, for like 5 years. I swore I'd never upgrade cause I had a touchscreen like 8 years ago and it was annoying as fuck. But apparently they've gotten better. I do quite love my new phone. I was gonna get a Samsung but I heard stuff like they make you do program upgrades that screw with the phone. There were many reviews about it. Plus I've always had a LG in some form. So my one friend said why would I switch brands?
I'm glad I got what I did. I don't really have complaints except the battery needs charged every night, which my old phone I could go a few days. I also had to invest in a wallless charger cause depending how much I use it, I may need to charge it sooner when I'm not near a wall to charge.
Beyond that, it's pretty cool. Huge screen. lol Not as big as some though. Like that Samsung note. I also was looking at a different LG phone but what made me choose G4 was the screen was smaller and it was a little cheaper. Got a great deal cause I've been a customer of Verizon for 10 years too. Got a tablet for almost free.
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Bikes or ?
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Posted:Jul 25, 2016 6:48 pm
Last Updated:Jul 25, 2016 6:48 pm
11914 Views
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Just a flashback I never wrote about. At my last job a woman was so worried about bringing her ' bikes inside the grocery store, which wasn't allowed, but then she left one of the little ones, probably like 7 yrs old to watch them while she went shopping. They were at the front by the registers. I remember commenting that if she thinks we're babysitters she's nuts. We were busy too cause I remember saying if someone takes that we may not even notice till they're gone.
Some people have no priorites. Bikes or . Oh yeah bikes apparently. Oy vey.
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Hired full time, been at job a year
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Posted:Jul 25, 2016 6:43 pm
Last Updated:Nov 24, 2016 3:31 pm
12956 Views
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Back in April I got hired on my job full time. Before I was just a temp. Didn't have PTO, 401k, healthcare, etc. (I had healthcare but it was expensive). Fulltime means I now have all that, am a permanent employee and no longer report to the temp agency. Also they pay a good chunk of the health insurance so I'm paying less than half what I was on my own and it's better coverage.
This past July 6 marked a year I have been there. Doesn't feel it. I remember when I started and I was scared out of my mind. Never had this type of job and the beginning is such an info overload I was so overwhelmed. Now I'm the one training people and know what I'm doing (most of the time ha!) Crazy. A year ago I couldn't see this.
Life has definitely changed for the better. I know money isn't everything but it sure takes a hell of a lot of worry and stress off.
Now if only I could find a good fwb. So many fish in the sea, but I was never one for fishing.
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Upcoming Father's Day - if your Dad is still living
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Posted:Jun 11, 2016 10:52 am
Last Updated:Aug 14, 2016 8:05 am
13921 Views
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I still find it strange to not pay attention to Father's Day even though Dad will have been gone 4 years next month. I just realized it's coming up and I have no one to buy for. He passed a few weeks after it so this is my 3rd without him. We fought so much and I regret a lot. So if your dad is still around, let him know you love him, even if you barely talk. Cause God can take him in a snap of the fingers. Trust me, I know it all too well. Don't have the regrets I have. Take care of things while he's still living and breathing.
And if you think maybe hey your Dad's not that old and he'll be around forever, my Dad was 52 and I thought the same thing. So push aside your pride, cause that won't console you when he's gone.
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To link to this blog (itzchic824) use [blog itzchic824] in your messages.
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