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| Blogs > rm_impish_pixie > Mischievous Musing's |
Not What I Was Hoping For...
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Not What I Was Hoping For... Results came in last Monday...and I couldn't seem to make myself put them in words. Once written they become way to real. So...what started as golf ball size lump that just popped out on her leg about 3 wks ago...led to a biopsy....led to a nerve tumor...who's only treatment is total amputation of her leg. At 11.5 I just can't do that to her. Would be way too traumatic and incredibly painful for her, and though there's a selfish lil part of my heart that says, "go for it"...I find that bigger part of my heart that says, "no, that is not love". So current course of action is to keep her on pain killers until they don't work anymore and then I'll lay down beside her and hold her, tell her how much I love her and what a difference she made in my life until she falls asleep peacefully and without fear. I am heartbroken...I don't know what I'll do without my Maggie. I think she knows...we've had some very sweet cuddle moments...me doing all the talking of course...(imagine that??) Then she lifts her little brown eyebrows at me...and I wonder how I got lucky enough to find her. I'm sorry I took so long in posting the update, truly, I had no idea that the weight of great sadness could make one so very bone weary.  I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn |
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Maggie knows you'll do right by her. BTW, cookies should be there tomorrow if the mailmen didn't eat them.  Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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Sucks to loose (or soon to) someone important to you 
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I'm with you here, my friend...you know that...  Just a little food for thought............. If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you... {=}
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We are truly sorry... hard days indeed... I was faced a similar decision on 12-04-06.....the hardest day of my life.... I do get it...if they walk with us for a day or a lifetime when they leave they tear a hole in our hearts......be well and find some peace and know you gave her a good life..... you kept the faith... that matters always... always. Patrick Pattie and JC 120406 090807 Hello I39m johnny cash, a final good bye to dags
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8/23/2008 7:51 am |
Hey Pix I know how ya feel for maggie we've talked and I think that the animals that we have in our lives mean something and when they do expire they guard over us just like relatives from the otherside but Mags is still here you take care of her and I'm shit sure she will do the same for you roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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Pix I am sorry to hear the biopsy results were not good. I think your plan makes the best of a sad situation XO and scratches for Mags MJ
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8/29/2008 6:26 pm |
I am not dead yet
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Hold her tight,but let go when you must,she depends on you for relief at the right time. I have been there and learned loving is also being able to let go when it is time. She will always be alive in your heart.
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A time comes to say enough. She has lived with dignity...let that not change. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Be well and We hope you find some peace tonight.
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BTW...did the belly head thing last night and we both slept....deeply and peacefully. Thank you.
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