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Blogs > Reanimated58 > Reanimated Red Neck Ramblings

Been here,done that...lookin' at it again.  

Reanimated58 65M
2 posts
11/2/2019 10:21 am
Been here,done that...lookin' at it again.

So,as my user name implies, I am Reanimated. I suppose that means starting over to most people,but to me, it kind of means just starting up where you left off. I was here many yrs ago,met some very cool folks and had a pretty good time. I met someone (not from here) and we had started a great life together,but ...I lost her, and without her my life kind of just stopped,stagnated, and eventually just became a life I was living day to day,because,well,that's what we do ,we breathe,we eat...we go on....it's not really living,it's existing.
To our friends,I became the "widower",the survivor, the partner to be pitied, worried about, checked up on every few days,few weeks,few months...I have never felt old,or like I was a burden until after my partner passed,then,...I felt ancient and like I was an albatross,you know that damaged single friend NOBODY knows what to do with...so I became a loner, an eat alone, sleep alone, even mourn alone kind of guy,one who just digs a hole,climbs in, and pulls it in around themselves to keep the rest of the living world at bay.
But that's not me,not who I am,who I was, or who I wanted to be going forward , and it's not who she would have wanted me to be either. So, after a time when all I wanted was to be alone...now, I'm on the other side,looking at life again,seeing what is out there,what I missed, and what is new in the time since I was here last...over 9 yrs ago.
I haven't added any pictures yet,because a) I don't have any new,just me pics...b) I now live in an area where a lot of people know me because it's a small community and my late wife's home town...and c) because I'm not quite sure yet what I'm doin' here or if this is where I want to be...but I will decide soon, and when I do,I'll add some pics ( some old ones so some of you who are still around will recognize me and some new ones so you can see how age,injury, and the slow but relentless movement of time changes us...I'm way older now than I was, and it shows...my mind wants the same things but my physical body isn't always as capable as it was'

So anyway, it is good to be alive again, and I have realized that I miss interaction with people, both mental and ,not to surprisingly, sexual...so let's just see where this path takes me...and who I encounter along the twists and turns.
I will be getting a GOLD membership in the next week or so,I'd forgotten how important that was,as a "Standard" member,you can't do shit...can't talk to somebody who interests you,can't look at their bio's and can't even read a message when you get sent one by somebody who just likes what you've written sight unseen. It's not like gmail, free and easy to use,but it is a little more exciting so I'll put up a 3 month membership fee and see what happens.

If you've read this far and haven't fallen asleep,it will get better...and the trip might just be worth it,so stick around,I'll try and put something new here every couple of days and keep you posted on the goings on...but for now,....Hasta la bye bye!

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