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5 Ways to Deal With Insults and Put-Downs… on Dating Sites... 😊❗❤️
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5 Ways to Deal With Insults and Put-Downs… on Dating Sites... 😊❗❤️ Recently, a lady friend of mine asked me for some advice. She's a member of another dating site and had been experiencing a spate of insults and put-downs while 'chatting'. I thought of how I might support her. With the benefit of a 2020 article in 'Psychology Today', I came up with a plan that might also help you. Harmful Words... Insults and put-downs can affect your happiness, confidence, and self-esteem, as well as your sex life. Over time, they can lead to lead to feelings of isolation, alienation, anger, anxiety, and depression.  What do you do when painful words are flung your way? Let's look at your possible choices. 1. Anger Anger is your worst choice. It shows that you take the insult seriously, there might be truth in the words, and it upsets you. 2. Return the Insult Are you clever and quick? The issue with the put-down - however brilliant it may be - is that it equalizes us with our insulters. It brings them up to our level and us down to theirs. This gives them, their words and behavior, far too much legitimacy. Returning the insult also risks injuring the insulter (who is probably very fragile) and invites further attacks. 3. Humor Humor, if successful, can be an especially effective response, for three main reasons: - It undercuts the insulter and his or her insult. - It brings any third parties on side. - It diffuses the tension of the situation. A similar strategy is to go with the insult and even add to it, for example: "Ah, if you knew me better, you would find greater fault still!" This makes a mockery of the insult and, by extension, of the insulter. 4. Rebuking the Insulter  5. Ignore the Remarks - the way you would a yapping puppy. THIS is your strongest response. If you don't know or respect the people flinging the words at you, their venom should be taken with the same reaction you'd have - to a barking or a naughty . Just ignore it. It implies - “You’re so insignificant to me that I don’t even care to register your insult." Conclusion… We never have to take offense at an insult. Offense exists NOT in the insult but in our REACTION to it. Our attitude is completely within our control. It’s unreasonable to expect a boor to be anything but a boor; if we take offense at his or her bad behavior - we have only ourselves to blame. How do you deal with insults and put-downs here and in the ‘real world’? ................................  ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O |
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Well, I have a tendency to use a sprinkling of all of the methods suggested. My favourites are humor and to just ignore the remarks. But with my temper, I also have been known to lash out.😎❗ Hmmm… Where was this article last week?🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Now that I’ve read this article in Psychology Today, I believe to ‘ignore the remarks’ - is the most appropriate reaction on dating sites. After all, if you don’t know the insulter and don’t respect them, what’s the point of engaging with them?😊👍 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I usually use either humor or ignorement but ...ya, know, I'm only human....sometimes chastisement just pops out. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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8/10/2020 12:51 pm |
Haven't found many trash talkers is awhile, I can do that with the best of them,.
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I do not go on chat rooms as this world has enough chaos already. On my blogs I just delete and block the dumb asses.
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I think your last meme says it all. I too try to either humour them with sarcasm or simply ignore them all together.
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I wish I would have read this yesterday. My daughter and I had a falling out and of course I cussed out from her and naturally I started flaring back and when her husband started cussing me I just hung up. Thanks for this my friend. I think I will copy and put it on my phone to help me the next time The Light is shinning and she is lonely and waiting in the darkness. 
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8/10/2020 4:04 pm |
insults? moi? everybody loves me 
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The way I see it almost no one here knows me. So any "insult" they spout comes via their ignorance. Their ignorance is their problem and not worth my response. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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I usually use either humor or ignorement but ...ya, know, I'm only human....sometimes chastisement just pops out. Are you good at forgiving? 😊 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Wow.... You're the playful type. Sounds like you can amuse yourself with anyone who crosses you. Humor and ignoring are the best way to go, right? But about those other ways? 🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Haven't found many trash talkers is awhile, I can do that with the best of them,. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I do not go on chat rooms as this world has enough chaos already. On my blogs I just delete and block the dumb asses. Delete and block, sounds like a plan. I tend to let them vent... up to a point. Once they're done, they rarely come back. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Great advice especially for this site, but I have my own ways of dealing with people like that. I hope you enjoy your evening..  Sounds ominous. Anything you can share? ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I think your last meme says it all. I too try to either humour them with sarcasm or simply ignore them all together. Then again I have this temper, that plops up once in a while. 😶 I'm learning. Yep, I noticed that you're pretty patient. You're right, that même says it all. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I wish I would have read this yesterday. My daughter and I had a falling out and of course I cussed out from her and naturally I started flaring back and when her husband started cussing me I just hung up. Thanks for this my friend. I think I will copy and put it on my phone to help me the next time You can still repair things, right? ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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insults? moi? everybody loves me I think you're right about that. How dja slip through the cracks? lol 😂 Yep... I gotta follow your example. Any tips? 🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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The way I see it almost no one here knows me. So any "insult" they spout comes via their ignorance. Their ignorance is their problem and not worth my response. I imagine you have a ton of patience. I usually manage to smile, but I've got this quick temper thing happening. I'm working on it, but your point is a good one. So, you've never blown a gasket here? As a car guy... have you ever blown a gasket after blowing a gasket? ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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You chastise? 🤔 Hmmm... I usually see your humour. I don't think I've ever seen you blow a gasket. You won't see me blow a gasket because you don't send me insulting emails. Plus, I don't actually "blow a gasket"....I remove the gasket carefully and then whup 'em upside the head with it (metaphorically speaking) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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It's true that nobody knows you, except what you've shared with them. They might THINK, they know you. I imagine you have a ton of patience. I usually manage to smile, but I've got this quick temper thing happening. I'm working on it, but your point is a good one. So, you've never blown a gasket here? As a car guy... have you ever blown a gasket after blowing a gasket? I raced a Fiat 850 at one point. They can be really hot running little peckers. Much of the engine prep was about keeping it cool and together. When it did blow a gasket it usually warped the cylinder head too - $$$$$$$$ When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I realize it has everything to do with them and nothing "to." do with me. Someone whose opinion I don't respect, can't hurt me with words they are flinging from their own insecurities so I choose to ignore them. No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent
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You chastise? 🤔 Hmmm... I usually see your humour. I don't think I've ever seen you blow a gasket. You won't see me blow a gasket because you don't send me insulting emails. Plus, I don't actually "blow a gasket"....I remove the gasket carefully and then whup 'em upside the head with it (metaphorically speaking) I'd say more, but I'm already tingling. 😶 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I used to have a short fuse and little patience. Neither have much value - but maybe occasionally. The people who try to try my patience aren't worth being around. I've seen really - stupid, ignorant, dishonest, etc - stuff here but the people involved were not worth me compromising myself and what I'm looking for here. I raced a Fiat 850 at one point. They can be really hot running little peckers. Much of the engine prep was about keeping it cool and together. When it did blow a gasket it usually warped the cylinder head too - $$$$$$$$ Ahh, the warped cylinder head. The Volkswagen Jetta spewing black smoke was a clue for me. Iron block and aluminum heads never mixed well. 👍 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I realize it has everything to do with them and nothing "to." do with me. Someone whose opinion I don't respect, can't hurt me with words they are flinging from their own insecurities so I choose to ignore them. No One Can Make You Feel Inferior Without Your Consent I re-visited your post. Interesting perspective on the topic, but many people still listen and react to their haters. But that's in the realm of bullying and real abuse. In my example, I'm talking more about random insults, or is there a a difference? 🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Drama queens are such a drag. I laugh at them
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Hm, it's pretty rare that anyone tries to take me on here, especially now that I'm not trying to meet anyone anymore. It's been rare on "traditional" dating sites as well. There have been a few cases of guys "negging"me to try to get my attention. I detest that strategy and will not engage.   
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Dear Paul, Thank you for sharing this insightful blog post...A very good read indeed. I am so glad I found your blog. I'd love to hear how our members here deal with this..As more folks " hide " behind their monitor to attack or create endless fake member profiles to abuse the site & members it is getting difficult to figure out what is the right or wrong way to handle abusive members.. Looking forward to hearing how Temptz " handles " this as opposed to the ideas you suggested. Happy Tues, Ana6 I done made the devil a deal He made me pretty He made me smart 
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Drama queens are such a drag. I laugh at them That's a great strategy. I get the impression, no one messes with you.... here, or in the real world? 🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Hm, it's pretty rare that anyone tries to take me on here, especially now that I'm not trying to meet anyone anymore. It's been rare on "traditional" dating sites as well. There have been a few cases of guys "negging"me to try to get my attention. I detest that strategy and will not engage. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Smart choice and a wise reaction. I re-visited your post. Interesting perspective on the topic, but many people still listen and react to their haters. But that's in the realm of bullying and real abuse. In my example, I'm talking more about random insults, or is there a a difference? 🤔
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Dear Paul, Thank you for sharing this insightful blog post...A very good read indeed. I am so glad I found your blog. I'd love to hear how our members here deal with this..As more folks " hide " behind their monitor to attack or create endless fake member profiles to abuse the site & members it is getting difficult to figure out what is the right or wrong way to handle abusive members.. Looking forward to hearing how Temptz " handles " this as opposed to the ideas you suggested. Happy Tues, Ana6 My preference? 🤔 To not even have to be a part of it. 😊❗ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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I don't see the difference. Both scenarios are a form of bullying and abuse. It's not too often someone hurls a '"random insult". It's usually predicated on some previous interaction or communication. If it was totally random, it would be cause for more alarm. It's that premeditated (let's wait two years) one that gets under my skin. But I understand what you mean. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Flaws? 🤔 Tell me about it. I have a short fuse when it comes to dealing with idiots. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Dear Paul, Thank you for sharing this insightful blog post...A very good read indeed. I am so glad I found your blog. I'd love to hear how our members here deal with this..As more folks " hide " behind their monitor to attack or create endless fake member profiles to abuse the site & members it is getting difficult to figure out what is the right or wrong way to handle abusive members.. Looking forward to hearing how Temptz " handles " this as opposed to the ideas you suggested. Happy Tues, Ana6 There is a time to be nice and then there is time to be a "nice bitch"... Seduce the mind and see what a wonderful adventure the body will take you on.. 
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Drama queens are such a drag. I laugh at them This is just another Andy that's ok right? 😮 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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True... about mind games but they have their place. I certainly do it infrequently with people I know and respect. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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8/13/2020 11:10 am |
I have two main strategies as far as insults and name-calling. As you have mentioned. Humor and keeping oneself above. Not lowering yourself to their level. I just tell them I have no interest in being like you.
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I have two main strategies as far as insults and name-calling. As you have mentioned. Humor and keeping oneself above. Not lowering yourself to their level. I just tell them I have no interest in being like you. I've got a quick temper and THAT one wrangles my good-intentioned purpose... sometimes. I'll count to ten next time and see if that calms the boiling blood. 🤔 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Yep. True about that temper thing. We've got to watch it! 👍 ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Ana, you know hun all Paul's ideas are great and that's how most should be handled. But then there are ones that need some special attention to get your point across. And I am sure you know what I am talking about. There is a time to be nice and then there is time to be a "nice bitch"... Hello & Happy Weekend Hugs, Hon..Hope you & your family are all doing well & safe/Healthy..I agree with you 100 % , since I discovered Paul's blog I have been enjoying his witty posts/ideas. I see exactly what you are saying about a TIME to be nice or to be " nIce bitch." Funny thing is I am known as the Little Princess, the Cupcake..Super Sweet...Bitchy is normally not in my Repertoire but as an actor, I can always summon it when needed Forgive me my Friend as I just realized I have been incorrectly called you " Temptz " instead of Tmptrzz...Call it short for Tempting Temptress... Happy Weekend Hugs & Thanks for the interesting answer, Ana6 I done made the devil a deal He made me pretty He made me smart
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