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| Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
C is for Cricket....
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C is for Cricket.... That is now housed beneath a measuring cup on my bathroom floor. Yikes! The Spawn woke me up a few minutes ago by sending me a series of texts documenting her journey into picking a blackhead.... Complete with pictures. In my half asleep state, my first thought was, what in the heck am I looking at??? Who would do this to me.... Of course it was the Spawn! She's a little like Newman, only, I housed her in my body for nine months and now I'm forced to keep her alive. "Why are you still up babe, it's after midnight? And, what the heck? Did that really come out of your body??" "Impressive, isn't it. Came out of my ear." She had that super smug, super proud of herself look on her face. What does this have to do with a cricket, you say? I headed into the bathroom to get some peroxide and a q-tip to clean her ear when... Out of nowhere! A cricket jumped out at me, fangs bared, nearly landing on my foot. I screamed out in surprise. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! Quick! Get me something!!" There was a measuring cup on the counter in the kitchen, so I grabbed it and stuck it over the cricket, where it is now currently residing. Good God.... At some point I'm going to have to think about getting that thing relocated back outside. For now, I'm going to hide in my bedroom, and pretend it isn't there. It's been a disturbing twenty minutes, I may never sleep again. Wish me luck! |
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I have a fear of grasshoppers. All out fear, too.... Crickets are a close second. Ugh!! Can't even stand the sight of them.
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Was your cricket one of the black ones that chirps? Those things are annoying. But you should google camel crickets. Those are crickets from hell with legs longer than mine. Jump like crazy. And they will jump ON you instead of away from you! I have them get in the house when it's dry outside. Scare the crap out of me sometimes.
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Was your cricket one of the black ones that chirps? Those things are annoying. But you should google camel crickets. Those are crickets from hell with legs longer than mine. Jump like crazy. And they will jump ON you instead of away from you! I have them get in the house when it's dry outside. Scare the crap out of me sometimes. Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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 Och McLade, crickets........are just wee beasties, they don't bite. In fact, very few beasties bite, and the ones that do generally need to be provoked. I've no fear of any kind of insect for some reason. I always treat them with respect, but they mean me no harm, so why should I be afraid of them? You'll not be surprised to learn that I'm more interested in that black head (I feel another blog post coming on ). More details and photos please!?! ps - Cricket is a big sport over here, and one of my lifelong passions, you have no idea how excited I was when I saw the post title!  But hey, black heids and beasties, no' bad consolations!!
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I spent nearly an hour trying to find one of those chirping bastards, every time I got 2 steps out of bed it stopped. I finally found it hanging upside down under the bathroom door. Tricky bastard.
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Please keep both hands on the keyboard at all times!
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I'd scarf it up and give it too my lizard, Falkor ; he loves crickets as a periodic snack too his regular food !!!! In case you wonder ; Falkor is a 19 inch long Bearded Dragon !!
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That’s funny. “Fangs bared”. You need a man to come euthanize it for you. Of course a toad could do the same thing. Teenagers are a trip, are they not. If they stayed cute we’d never let them leave. So god made teenagers!
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Oh dear God, that's the stuff of nightmares!! That spider is huge!! What did you do with it?
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I texted my oldest son.... Told him I haven't seen him in too long and he needed to remove a cricket from my bathroom. LOL He came right over and took care of it. LOL
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 Yes cricket is big over here but they are armed with a bat and ball.Iz zit that time already  
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Yes cricket is big over here but they are armed with a bat and ball. Iz zit that time already 
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8/19/2020 5:51 am |
That’s funny. “Fangs bared”. You need a man to come euthanize it for you. Of course a toad could do the same thing. Teenagers are a trip, are they not. If they stayed cute we’d never let them leave. So god made teenagers!
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I'd scarf it up and give it too my lizard, Falkor ; he loves crickets as a periodic snack too his regular food !!!! In case you wonder ; Falkor is a 19 inch long Bearded Dragon !!
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8/19/2020 5:06 am |
I'll eat your wet drippy pussy I'll cum /ejackulate deep inside you raw 4/5 times tonite and I'm free all day tomorrow to suc lick worship your pussy/body I'll preform and fufill all nasty quirks kinks. .. I'm clean ready to make this happen and drink ur pussy as you squirt spit and cum during ejaculation I want to push my kinky limits will you help me
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8/19/2020 5:05 am |
I spent nearly an hour trying to find one of those chirping bastards, every time I got 2 steps out of bed it stopped. I finally found it hanging upside down under the bathroom door. Tricky bastard.
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I was about to propose other things that are worse. Then as I started to think about them... well now, *FFS*, I know I won't be able to go back to sleep.😶 I think centipedes are worse. Ever seen those 3 foot long suckers that eat mice? They're only found in Australia 🇦🇺, so you don't have to worry. Yep... I think I'll watch some TV till the sun rises.
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that's as bad as the spider that magically appears in the corner of the ceiling right as you're about to turn off the light. i'm not so heavy handed that i'd kill every insect that found its way into the house somehow. but at the same time i don't want to lay wide awake thinking it might decide to crawl over my face either. don't be surprised if, come morning, mr. cricket made it out of his measuring cup hut  they're fast, sneaky f'kers.
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Och McLade, crickets........are just wee beasties, they don't bite. In fact, very few beasties bite, and the ones that do generally need to be provoked. I've no fear of any kind of insect for some reason. I always treat them with respect, but they mean me no harm, so why should I be afraid of them? You'll not be surprised to learn that I'm more interested in that black head (I feel another blog post coming on ). More details and photos please!?! ps - Cricket is a big sport over here, and one of my lifelong passions, you have no idea how excited I was when I saw the post title! But hey, black heids and beasties, no' bad consolations!!
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I'll eat your wet drippy pussy I'll cum /ejackulate deep inside you raw 4/5 times tonite and I'm free all day tomorrow to suc lick worship your pussy/body I'll preform and fufill all nasty quirks kinks. .. I'm clean ready to make this happen and drink ur pussy as you squirt spit and cum during ejaculation I want to push my kinky limits will you help me
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I was about to propose other things that are worse. Then as I started to think about them... well now, *FFS*, I know I won't be able to go back to sleep.😶 I think centipedes are worse. Ever seen those 3 foot long suckers that eat mice? They're only found in Australia 🇦🇺, so you don't have to worry. Yep... I think I'll watch some TV till the sun rises. ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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that's as bad as the spider that magically appears in the corner of the ceiling right as you're about to turn off the light. i'm not so heavy handed that i'd kill every insect that found its way into the house somehow. but at the same time i don't want to lay wide awake thinking it might decide to crawl over my face either. don't be surprised if, come morning, mr. cricket made it out of his measuring cup hut they're fast, sneaky f'kers.
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