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Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved.....

Today  

secret_lade 49F
14391 posts
3/19/2020 4:05 pm
Today

Today is the anniversary of something I don't want to remember....

Funny how the good things that happen, the moments that make you smile and look upon fondly are so easily forgotten.

Why is it that the unpleasant sticks with us?

Always sitting there in the back of your mind waiting for it's opportunity to reappear.

Surprise! I'm back! Did you miss me??

I was fine until I got to work this morning....

And then it happened. The music was playing loudly and I could feel the memory creeping out from where I had suppressed it. I tried to push it back but it just wasn't going to leave....

My eyes filled with tears that I couldn't hold back and found myself crying.

It was a brief moment of sadness.... Then I managed to pull myself back together, tucking this bad memory back into the banks to be forgotten once again.

If only I could just take it away....

secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 4:13 pm
    Quoting jajo696:
    Me too....i hope for better days ahead. Most of us just carry on business as usual, till a song or a smell or a thought invades the moment and it all comes back. Then we tuck it away and begin anew....until the next moment. I think Rose Kennedy said it best, something about heartbreak n loss just covers over with scar tissue but the hole is still there, never completely filling in~~

    the other thing though....crying is good...its a release....allowing new thoughts n memories to come in. Crying is a washout.....a cleansing.

    Happy This Day to you ~~
Most of the time.... When I cry I find it hard to stop. Probably because I don't let myself do it often.... But you're right. It is cleansing.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 4:10 pm
    Quoting wanna4playU:
    sounds like a sad loss of a loved one? so sorry for your pain
It was... And I miss her so much.


wanna4playU 56M  
265 posts
3/20/2020 6:41 am

 sounds like a sad loss of a loved one? so sorry for your pain


jajo696 113F
Ask me for a photo
4287 posts
3/20/2020 4:44 am

 Me too....i hope for better days ahead. Most of us just carry on business as usual, till a song or a smell or a thought invades the moment and it all comes back. Then we tuck it away and begin anew....until the next moment. I think Rose Kennedy said it best, something about heartbreak n loss just covers over with scar tissue but the hole is still there, never completely filling in~~

the other thing though....crying is good...its a release....allowing new thoughts n memories to come in. Crying is a washout.....a cleansing.

Happy This Day to you ~~


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:51 am
    Quoting 2Scorpios_26:
    I'm sorry u had a tough day. Sometimes those things creep back to us because they are suppressed and not resolved. May not be your case, just throwing that out there. I hope tomorrow is better.
I will say this is suppressed... And will probably never be resolved. It's just something I want to forget.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:50 am
    Quoting jolielaide:
    sometimes you just wish things ended better, not so messy. or, if the damn thing was gonna end, did it have to end like THAT?? there's always some small trigger that makes you wish for a different ending than the one you got.
Sometimes, we just aren't ready.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:48 am
    Quoting SirlickalotNM:
    I have hundreds of bad memories, wish I could go back in time and change them all. Can't forget them.
There are so many things I wish I could change.... But it's those moments that shaped us into the people we are today.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:45 am
    Quoting pagancountrygirl:

    I hope tomorrow is better and brings you some happy thoughts and memories.
Today will not be a better day.... As it is the 7 year anniversary of my mother's death. I'm just going to was my hands of this entire week.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:44 am
    Quoting easy_going2014:
    I speak freely

    I cry easily

    I luv dearly

    thanks for sharing

    made me think of this briefly

    "Pleasure moves on too early
    And trouble leaves too slow..."

    Janelle Kroll - "Down to you"

    Everything comes and goes
    Pleasure moves on too early
    And trouble leaves too slow
    Just when you're thinking
    You've finally got it made
    Bad news comes knocking at your garden gate
    Knocking for you
    Constant stranger
    You're a brute, you're an angel
    You can crawl you can fly too
    It's down to you
    It all comes down to you
I don't speak freely with others, I don't cry easily with others, and I withold my love often, keeping it only for my children. I envy your abilities.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:41 am
    Quoting  :
Today is not a better day.... Today is the 7 year anniversary of my mother's death, making me the oldest remaining generation in my Mom's side of the family.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:39 am
    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Why do the unpleasant ones stick with you?
    I don't know.
    hmmm...
    I don't know about that at all. The stuff that sticks with me - is the good stuff. It's easy to recall. Sometimes it's as simple as a walk by a picture, in the living room.
    All those other BAD things...? I'll recall them on the day they're due.
    And then move on.
    Nope... 'stuff', doesn't stick to me.
    Spray the souls of your shoes. Stuff will wash right over them... in time. Just takes time...
    🍷🍷❗😎👍
Maybe it's just me.... My anxiety has been out of control and I haven't been able to go to the gym, which was really helping me. My work has been so stressful, on top of it all, with the increased hiring we are doing to assist displaced workers during all the business shut downs.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:34 am
    Quoting benard69:
    Just pull up them Big Girl panties and move forward...
That's what I did. Wiped the tears, refreshed the make up.... Nobody was the wiser.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:33 am
    Quoting h4rry66:
    Time is a healer beautiful x
It's been 25 years and I'm still not even remotely healed.... I hope that one day this day can come and go and I will be able to just remember, without the emotional stuff.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
3/20/2020 3:31 am
    Quoting dayzeeme:
    well, that is a shitty way to start the day. Once in a while I have a super shitty memory that pops up and I have to do all I can do to not have it end in a panic attack nowadays.
It was a shitty way to start the day.... But, thankfully my job these days has me so busy that I don't have time to think. Now that I'm on mandatory OT, my days just seem a little endless.


dayzeeme 55F
7024 posts
3/19/2020 11:31 pm

 well, that is a shitty way to start the day. Once in a while I have a super shitty memory that pops up and I have to do all I can do to not have it end in a panic attack nowadays.


h4rry66 57M

3/19/2020 10:43 pm

 Time is a healer beautiful x


benard69 66M/66F  

3/19/2020 8:49 pm

 Just pull up them Big Girl panties and move forward...


Paulxx001 67M
22642 posts
3/19/2020 8:47 pm

 Why do the unpleasant ones stick with you?
I don't know.
hmmm...
I don't know about that at all. The stuff that sticks with me - is the good stuff. It's easy to recall. Sometimes it's as simple as a walk by a picture, in the living room.
All those other BAD things...? I'll recall them on the day they're due.
And then move on.
Nope... 'stuff', doesn't stick to me.
Spray the souls of your shoes. Stuff will wash right over them... in time. Just takes time...
🍷🍷❗😎👍


easy_going2014 57M
Ask me for a photo
14366 posts
3/19/2020 7:01 pm

 I speak freely

I cry easily

I luv dearly

thanks for sharing

made me think of this briefly

"Pleasure moves on too early
And trouble leaves too slow..."

Janelle Kroll - "Down to you"

Everything comes and goes
Pleasure moves on too early
And trouble leaves too slow
Just when you're thinking
You've finally got it made
Bad news comes knocking at your garden gate
Knocking for you
Constant stranger
You're a brute, you're an angel
You can crawl you can fly too
It's down to you
It all comes down to you
To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


pagancountrygirl 66F  
Ask me for a photo
6466 posts
3/19/2020 6:42 pm
I hope tomorrow is better and brings you some happy thoughts and memories.
Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


SirlickalotNM 61M  
147 posts
3/19/2020 6:18 pm

 I have hundreds of bad memories, wish I could go back in time and change them all. Can't forget them.


jolielaide 52F  
1754 posts
3/19/2020 6:12 pm

 sometimes you just wish things ended better, not so messy. or, if the damn thing was gonna end, did it have to end like THAT?? there's always some small trigger that makes you wish for a different ending than the one you got.


2Scorpios_26 45M/48F
2 posts
3/19/2020 5:19 pm

 I'm sorry u had a tough day. Sometimes those things creep back to us because they are suppressed and not resolved. May not be your case, just throwing that out there. I hope tomorrow is better.


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