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Blogs > denafairygoddess > Random musings feelings dreams

Me - gender - body - some desires - love story wish  

denafairygoddess 50T
5 posts
12/23/2014 3:46 pm
Me - gender - body - some desires - love story wish

This is complex. And leave your stereotypes, paradigms, and assumptions behind.

Unless you really try to know and understand you cannot see.

First. I am what I am. I really do feel, act, live like a woman that loves women. I live this way at nearly all times and places. I have lived this way over 10 years. I am known in real life as a nice kind woman to 99+ % of those who I meet or know me. I am extremely respectful of others - it really helps! I'd be a lesbian if I could. But that is not my body. And then the complexity begins.
Oh, yes, I am selective as to who I feel is right for me - I consider the woman's entire being.

Who could I make a great lover for? Lesbians, Bisexuals, straight women.

I am very much like women in that I really, really want to have some emotional connection with you to be interested in sex. It's making<b> love. </font></b>Feelings matter! There needs to be that spark. I need to know you! About you! About your life, your interests/hobbies - what you love!

"Hi" is not enough. And short "wham bam" done in 5 minutes is not enough! Signs of affection given with the loving emotions are great! Kisses, hugs, massage, caresses, cuddles, snuggles, warm touch, holding hands, sharing the pleasures are great!

Some kind of ongoing friendship (or like that or more) is necessary. What I want to share cannot be done quickly. For my<b> love. </font></b>I want to learn what pleases her, everything about her. What encourages her joy and happiness. My spiritual nature means I care deeply about the quality of my relationships. The little things matter! Showing affection and kindness matters. Romance matters. The emotions shared matters. I desire to know and share the things that would have my<b> love </font></b>feel loved, desired, appreciated. And I desire that they want to do the same for me. This is a sexy life!

Making friends is important! I<b> love </font></b>making new friends! For me it's about connection, sharing, relationship. Life is sacred. Making<b> love </font></b>is sacred.

The qualities I seek are a so very, very rare and special combination. So rare in fact that it may be a fantasy. But I lived that fantasy once! A connection where both choose each other, want to be there, is so rare and precious! Why would anyone want to abuse that! Those who mistreat and abuse this very precious gift from the universe, I don't get. It is so very sad! You must grow and nurture this valuable gift. It's imperative you do so! There is a joyful effort of love, an investment in each other.

I always felt that as a guy, something was lacking in me. That my emotional, spiritual nature did not fit that paradigm. I was always too soft, loving, caring, empathic, nurturing.

I met and I lived with a young beautiful bisexual woman for many years. It was an amazing<b> love </font></b>story! She saw very quickly who I was. And she helped me so much to become who I am now. To understand my feelings. To grow in the complexity of emotions. To become real, ordinary, and not a caricature, or some stereotype. She taught me so much about being an ordinary real woman. And shared most of what its like. Look, clothing, presence for sure. It's very different from the stereotypes. I became in heart, spirit, feelings, actions, look so much like the ordinary woman.

Ordinary was the best choice for me. I look nice, have a small thin light weight body with some feminine features. But not enough to be like the hot T Girls out there! Plus I have not done any medical.

I used the T label here because its more honest. The truth is - the really amazing<b> love </font></b>story relationships are very rare and special! And<b> love </font></b>is very sacred and special!

How I live, act, look, feel won't change. This is as real as it gets. But also real is my great<b> love </font></b>I wish to share. That beautiful<b> love </font></b>story I lived? True to form as<b> love </font></b>stories can do, it ended tragically. The worst possible happened to her. I lived, and found the extreme limits of what<b> love </font></b>is possible! It was so hard. I don't wish that on anyone. It is a<b> love </font></b>I could give - yet I hope I never have to again! It is so hard to see the one you loved so deeply, where your joy was her being joyful, and sharing<b> love </font></b>was a joy - so hard to see her melt !! And be no more !!

I am real, I've been through hell and back. It has changed me, heartbreak, shook me. I really want<b> love </font></b>to be everywhere! I recovered with a great<b> love </font></b>to share!

I am what I am. That won't change. But really, I shall do what I can to<b> love. </font></b>Do what I can to be the<b> love </font></b>and joy in life for my<b> love. </font></b>Be the joy and pleasure for her when making<b> love.

</font></b>Yes, I am different. Yes, I may not fit in with social expectations. That others may not accept us. May not be a problem with lesbians and bisexuals. For straight women, I may be a much better lover - I understand, feel things, that many guys never understand. I GROK the value of respect, consideration, connection, spirit, atmosphere, mood, kindness, tenderness, caring, her joy, happiness, romance, pleasure!

I once lived the<b> love </font></b>story. Really wish to live it again. This time without the tragic ending.

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