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Charlie Harper Is Back... Sort Of
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Charlie Harper Is Back... Sort Of Just saw where they’re bringing back Charlie Harper to Two And A Half Men… sort of, later this season, and I got excited and started thinking of all the ways it could be done, and how good that would be. Then I read further, and saw that they were bringing back Charlie, sure, Just not Charlie Sheen. This was going to be his ghost; and if it’s just going to be his ghost then there are all kinds of ways they could go with it. So, how did they go? Older. Female. Charlie’s ghost is going to be played by Kathy Bates, and I figure it could go something like this: Charlie's Ghost: Well, I see you kept the house. There goes a fine bottle of Scotch. Alan: Who are you? And what bottle of Scotch are you talking about. Charlie's Ghost: The bottle of Scotch I bet Dad that you would sell the house and blow the proceeds. Alan: What Scotch; what Dad; what house; what proceeds: what are you talking about, and who are you? Charlie's Ghost: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Which question do you want answered, you knucklehead? Alan: Who are you, and how did you get in? Charlie's Ghost: I’m Charlie, your… ah, I see the problem. Well, it’s a long story. Me and Rose are standing on the platform waiting for the train to pull into the station. I see this gorgeous blonde coming down the stairs, I turn to look, next thing I know, I feel a nudge and I’m falling in front of the arriving train. Next minute I’m standing in front of some bearded guy in a bath-robe telling me I’m not on his list, that I belong in some other place. Alan: But you’re a girl, and you have lady parts, and you,you,you, you're old. Charlie was my brother, but I guess you could say he was a guy. He drank a lot, gambled a lot, and chased everything in a skirt, and some not. You are in a skirt. How does that work. I think I would know my own brother. Charlie's Ghost: Believe me, Alan. I’m still your brother, your dead brother, but still your brother. And don’t think this skirt is going to stop me from chasing skirts. (Ghost looking up towards to the roof) Charlie's Ghost: Do you hear me? This horrible trick you’ve played won’t stop me. I’ve got ways to make this work. Alan: Who are you talking to? Charlie's Ghost: Who do you think? I want back my body. The only good thing about this body is that she can out-drink me. But I want back my body. Alan: Well, last time I looked, your body was kinda like a jigsaw puzzle; a fluid jigsaw puzzle. Remember? Train? Train-track? Made of steel? Flesh? Blood? Bone? Not made of steel? (Chorus and music in back-ground) Mennnnnn! 
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I've been trying to hold on but without Charlie it has taken a turn for the worst. Up to a couple weeks ago the Network had not decided whether or not to bring it back, so I guess they are thinking the same thing as us.
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