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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
Shiny, Happy People
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Shiny, Happy People We've talked about confidence, arrogance and intimidation before. But I'm in the mood to talk about them some more. And yes, I did intend for that to rhyme. Don't be surprised- I do it all the time.  So I'm taking pictures for HNW- I tend to bank a few weeks in advance just in case something comes up- and I manage to snap the picture you see below. Yeah- I like that picture  . You guys give me grief all the time because I complain about the size of my ass, so I figured I'd show you that I can be as confident as the next person when it comes to my looks.That's a nice picture of me. I look pretty  . (photo removed for privacy).Moving on... This past Wednesday, I happened upon a few folks who were new to the whole HNW phenomenon and posted their first attempts with a bit of trepidation. A few were worried that they weren't "allowed to play" for some reason (Wrong! EVERYONE is welcome!). One was worried because she was actually fully-naked, not half (no one complains if you show MORE flesh, lol). And the remaining few- both male and female- expressed that they were scared that they might be insulted or laughed at. I remember that feeling quite well (still get the butterflies 8 months later). However, I think I can say with full confidence that any fucktard who would be so rude would immediately morph into 'persona non grata' in the eyes of anyone who read their comment- am I right? Half-Nekkid Wednesday is actually a wonderful example of the behavior we should see on this site EVERYDAY. A general summoning of confidence and compassion. Compliments (whether genuine or patronizing or obligatory) are doled out in bucketloads. We all feel a little bit better about ourselves, don't we? And hell- YOU guys make ME feel... Well, you make me feel AMAZING.  And for a chick like me who isn't totally comfortable with expressions of confidence, that's a big deal. Because (most) women have had it drummed into our heads that 'modesty is best'. A certain amount of self-deprecation is required in order to be a card-carrying member of the unspoken Sisterhood. You have to hate your ass. You have to complain about stretch marks and arm fat. Something must need tweezing. And how ridiculous is that?? The men out here have grabbed their virtual bullhorns (not a euphemism) and bellowed at the top of their lungs: "We like confident women. Confidence is sexy and so are you. We don't care about cellulite. Put down the fat-vac and leave them curves alone!" So why are we women still cowering on the sidelines with our hands over our ears screaming, "No! I'm not good enough unless I'm a size 4." Who the fuck decided that anything in single digits was the epitome of beauty, anyway? But I digress. I don't want to delve too deeply into what I'm about to say next, so just take it at face value, kay? I spent a good portion of my 20's trying to make myself invisible to the opposite sex. Flying under the radar because I felt safer that way. Don't notice me, don't compliment me, and for God's sake, don't touch me. I gained weight, wore little makeup, and only brought out my social side when absolutely necessary. I married a well-armed man who is built like a lumberjack- he made me feel safe and protected. Blah, blah, blah...you get the picture. But now, I'm almost 40. I've wasted enough time allowing someone else's evil behavior to define who I am. I'm a good person. I'm funny. I'm smart. I smell good. I have nice eyes. MY smile can make YOU smile. I can whip up a kickass 4-course meal for 10 people on 3 hours' notice WITHOUT a trip to the grocery store. And this site is the perfect place for someone like me. I can be a woman, express my sexuality and not feel physically threatened. And please don't dismiss the fear of physical harm as being irrational. Don't underestimate the therapeutic benefit a venue like this can provide. In keeping with my little epiphany about the value of this site, I have decided that I am going to change my outlook on things. 1. I will promise to stop insulting my ass. 2. I will remember that it's okay to think I'm pretty (I struggled with even TYPING that statement for fear that you will all perceive me as horribly arrogant. This insidious bullshit has been lurking in my head for almost 40 years- it's gonna take some time to rid myself of it). 3. I will continue to embrace my exhibitionist side regardless of what anyone else thinks. Because it's what I feel like doing. 4. I'm going to believe that some of you guys find me attractive and don't necessarily want to have sex with me. You're being nice because you're NICE GUYS- not because you're trying to get laid (except for BBCJay- he just wants to fuck me, lol). 5. The scar on my face is not as obvious and ugly as I think it is. Most of you don't notice it and if you do, you don't care. The scar itself and how I got the scar to begin with DO NOT DEFINE WHETHER OR NOT I AM ATTRACTIVE. The bottom line is that I like who I am. And if I'm going to SAY it I have to BELIEVE it. And if I believe it, I have to REFLECT it. End result: It's gonna get freaky up in here, guys. Consider yourselves warned. [image] When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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This is seriously a beautiful post... I was so happy to read it, and I hope that you finally see what we've all seen from day one: that you are absolutely beautiful, inside and out. Looking forward to some smoking hot freakiness in the weeks to come. Hell, you may inspire me to go half-nekkid!
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Bravo! Your absolutely right! We should not let other's preferrences/hangups/attitudes affect our own self image and self worth. Easier said than done, but it sounds like you are on the right track. Each of us is beautiful in our own way, and finding someone that appreciates our "flavor" of beauty is the tricky part. Just the fact that you can express such sentiments, in my personal opinion, makes you a very attractive person, regardless of physical features. I think it's the honesty that comes bleeding through... Thanks for sharing!
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I simply LOVE this post on so many levels Awesome! I have no effing clue where I'm going and what I'm saying Vixn_Vella Its not me....It's you. And no...we cannot be friends
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Great post and inspiration for us all to love ourselves a little more! Kisses, LeeAnn Kisses, LA   
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You are beautiful hon.
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Rare flowers bloom later are the best fragranced ones might turn you all mesmerized and dizzy.
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I'd be heaps disapointed if you didn't....I think your hot,love your profile pic,...yummy,...You have a beutifull smile and eye's and girl you were that skirt very nicley,....Rock on please,... Hnw gold......  "Eight past midnight.....63 miles to venus." myblog ........  ......
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A lovely post and so glad you have that attitude! You are really well loved in blogland and deservedly so! Thanks for such a good write up! Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morning Come visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]
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12/3/2011 1:09 pm |
I have always believed there to be a thin line between confidence and arrogance. True sexiness flirts with that line, never spending too much nor straying too far into one side or the other.
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To be honest when I first started posting for HNW. I had some of the same fears that you mentioned the people you came across having. There is nothing arrogant with thinking your pretty. Heck I have to deal with that to. I though I was ugly since Jr. High and am just recently changing started trying to change that way of thinking. We all have to come to terms with that based on the pressures society puts on us, and whatever we have in our past. And find the line between being confident and arrogant. Just be you, and if your just now going to start getting freaky this should be interesting. 
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12/2/2011 6:58 pm |
Then all I have to say is "Thank you." So, thank you.
 It's never the same thing twice... [post 2477869] [post 2800527] Current series: [post 2910971]  
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Giiiiirl, go get your freak flag on! 
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It's getting "West Side Story" up in here... 'I feel pretty! Oh so Pretty!' Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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you had me when you were the all seeing eye of gottaring.
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Bring it sistah!
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Bring it on pretty lady! Any dude who leaves comments that are with negative reflection are promptly presented with this bling:  and a series of this smiley:  I won't delete those comments, I'll leave it there for all to see what a , as many so eloquently put it, fucktard the dude is.
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12/2/2011 2:07 pm |
Confidence is very sexy and anyone reading this will get nothing but a feeling you are a confident woman out of it. Great post and great photo but then i'm a sucker for big brown eyes and you sure as hell got them! 
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12/2/2011 2:00 pm |
Eh, you're a doll. Any man would give his right arm to have you (that should quicken foreplay). IF those of us here were a part of getting you to realize you're adorable and helped you gain confidence then I'm proud of all of us. I am Woman, hear me roar. Now I'm waiting for freaky.
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You go, baby! I gave up after my last attempt was met with an astonishing two comments. 
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12/2/2011 12:14 pm |
I LOVE this post... you're so not alone and it's got to just resonate with so many women out there... I don't even know you and want to say I love you, lol... Thanks for posting it/sharing  "I reject your version of reality & substitute my own" Offended Yet? Sign Here: [post 2929227] I mean seriously, DO IT!! Have you ever tried Sloggin' it? Blogger Slogger The best of some of the Canucks I love: [blog CanadaWeek]
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hi
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You are pretty. You have a very nice body and an intoxicating smile. And yes I am a nice guy...but given the chance I likely would want to make love to you as well...but that's not why I always read your blog...no, its because you are a confident and sensible woman who I like to read. So there! Lol...please keep writing and showing as much of your self and more as you like...
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I'm with you on this! We all have our gripes with our own image. Mine vary from time to time. It also depends on the day. Some days I feel gorgeous. Others I feel like I was pulled from a landfill somewhere...icky and not very appealing. You should hear some of the things that I say about myself. My breast are too small (even though I prefer a smaller chest). My hair is not long enough (even though I willingly cut my hair every time). I won't even get started on my face! It's all ridiculous what we say and do to ourselves...really! I love this pic of you. It shows a confidence that you should display at all times. The confidence in ALL of us should be displayed. Hope your having a fantastic Friday babe. "For a woman there is nothing more erotic than being understood." ~ Molly Haskell Read about Me Being Naughty o-o
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12/2/2011 10:05 am |
Okay I'm going to just come out and say it.. I love you! (in a non-sexual, non lesbian way - not that there's anything wrong with that). I'm like you in a way, except I spent most of my teenage years trying to make myself invisible.. and it worked, because I'm so quiet. I have always battled with weight.. and I guess I'm part of the 1% because I have thyroid issues (was born without a thyroid actually)... so it's been something I've always dealt with. Right now I'm learning to love myself. In my late child hood I actually started going to the Junior High school for grade 5... and some people in the older grades made fun of how I looked. I've been learning to let go of that scar from bullying and think that it's okay to consider myself pretty. I should probably learn to stop saying "No I'm not" when Puppy says "You're beautiful" too. But anyway, I love this post, and love you for writing it. It helps me see that I'm not really alone in how I feel about myself, because others feel the same way about theirselves. And they are also working on themselves  Swimmy & Puppy Big News Milestone Windows to the Soul Coitus Interruptus Finding Love Here Yes, it39s possible ~Diving into the Mind~
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