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Ho Ho Humbug
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Ho Ho Humbug  I know I said I was never going to share any more of my pics on here, but since I have no plans to do anything with this shot other than use it on the net, I decided I would. Consider it my Christmas card to this place and it's many people. This took me 5 years to capture. I saw something similar and wanted to try my hand at it. Let me tell you, it is not as easy as it looks. It really is all about the timing with things of this nature. Sooo, it is the holidays. I find myself excited for the first time in many years to see them coming. I suppose it is the sense of family and continuity in my life that has given me back my former joy for the season. Plus, I have learned that if I shop online and with small local shops here where I live and avoid the teeming masses of stupidity that I would encounter should I go to one of the bigger corporate places, I am no longer filled with an unnameable sorrow at the direction we are headed as a society. I come from an age of maybe getting one or maybe two toys for Christmas and then smaller gifts from friends and relatives. My most favorite Christmas was the year I got my Beyer horses. I wanted those so badly for so long. So when I got the pair of them that I wanted for Christmas I nearly cried I was so happy. I think I was around 12 or so. My Grandmothers both always gave me socks and underwear. From the church family we always got a huge fruit basket. A relative who lived in Florida always came for a visit and brought a huge box of Oranges and Pecans. Those Oranges were always fresh and so sweet and tart. I have not tasted Oranges like those in many years. And 'store bought' Orange juice will never taste as good as those Oranges squeezed into juice, fresh every morning with breakfast. Another thing that happened when I was a during the holidays were the visits. Family, old friends...you could count on seeing both sometime during that two week span between Christmas and New Year. I used to sit quietly and listen as the adults spoke when people visited. My dad and some of his cousins used to tell tales on one another. It was always a good story too. My dad and his cousins were the prototypes for "them Duke Boys". Unfortunately the cops were a hell of a lot smarter than Roscoe. Sometimes I was extremely fortunate and there would be a cousin, or some other to play with along for these visits. Living remotely and having an alcoholic father pretty much ensured that I did not have many playmates my age, so it was so awesome when my age came over. For many years, I had forgotten those memories. Well, maybe not forgotten. I repressed many of my happiest memories of childhood by clinging on to a venomous hatred that served no purpose in my life except to make me a miserable person. It is nice to think on them now. While I might have been subjected to many things as a , it was not all bad. Of course there are some bad memories associated with this time in my life. My sister used to get so excited about Christmas she would get physically ill. It was the first physical manifestation of her Bi-polar disorder. I was excited too, but so repressed. Expressions of joy about Christmas were kept at a conversational level, and spoken about only with family. "Because Christmas was Jesus birthday, and being excited about getting gifts and seeing friends and family and only doing a minimum of chores on the farm was considered to be in poor taste." It took me a lot of time to wrap my head around the whys of it all, but I was an introvert as a . So it was quite easy to not speak unless spoken to. (Thankfully, I am over that awkward phase). For a many many year, I lost all love for this holiday. The consumerism of the young working mother. The competition of "My present is better than your present", the old family arguments and fights that eventually replaced the yearly visits from friends and family. Bad marriages. Lots of alcohol....it took that joy right out of me for just about everything, but it made me hate Christmas with a special kind of venom. And then when I hit my late twenties, I started seeing that joy in my eyes and small amounts of what once was an endless fountain of happiness began to trickle back to me. I found joy through my . I found happiness in their happiness. I used to love hearing them hit the floor on Christmas morning. When those feet hit the floor they were running. And the laughter that was so close to tears when something much hoped for was found under the tree. I wish I could explain to you how shrill the screaming was when they got a Nintendo. I think my ear drums might have bled slightly. But then my days of being a mother passed. They died a horrific death, with no warning and I found myself, for the first time in 20 years, alone for the holidays. The first year, I kept myself immersed in the lifestyle. The endless round of cocktail parties and dances and nights of sexual pleasure, with no real connection to much of anything other than my mother and co workers. It filled a void in my life and it kept me from taking a short route off the rock. At that time in my life, the struggle to stay under a roof and out of a shelter was all too real. I lived for many months in motels and out of my car. My first Christmas alone was just that. Completely alone, in a strange city, with very few friends and no family. I worked that entire week, as many shifts as they would give me, so I could buy gifts for my Grand's. And honestly? I had a blast! There are some very kind and wonderful people who are alone in this world, just like I was at that time. And that old saying was never more true, misery does indeed love company. But we do not seek to commiserate on Christmas, most of the lonester's I knew were looking for a friend to bring some reason for joy back to the season. Granted, there were drunken assholes aplenty, but there were some really wonderful folks that made the holidays happy for me. I kinda get misty when I wonder where they are now. There were only four of the kidlets then. I have six now, plus two steps, plus two more on the way, plus the two I babysit. I now understand why I always got underwear for Christmas from my Grandmothers. But maybe it is that I am no longer alone in the world. Or maybe it is being around , who are starting to get that gleam of hope and excitement in their eyes and voices now. Maybe it is hearing my Grandkids laugh and say "Thank you" with hugs that nearly knock me out of my chair. Maybe it is seeing the ghost of the young mother I once was playing about the smile on my daughters face as she watches her opening gifts. I don't really know exactly what it is that has given me back my love for this holiday and all the love and happiness that gets shared between people. But I do know, it is good to feel it again. Happy Holidays to you all. "Shall I tell you the secret of the true scholar? It is this: every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson   |
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thanks for the invite, girlie but...i went to TX in 2009. that's all the excitement i can stand for a decade. can i get a rain check for 2019?  When the tides of life are against you And the current upsets your boat Don't think of things that might have been Just lay on your back and float Ed Norton / The Honeymooners 1954
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working in retail for 17 years "made me hate Christmas with a special kind of venom." i've liked the holiday much more for the past 14 years being on layoff for the winter. well, until this one. i just can't seem to get in the spirit. still a little time...maybe it will come. hope you have a joyous and peaceful holiday. considering the journey you took to get here, you certainly deserve it.  When the tides of life are against you And the current upsets your boat Don't think of things that might have been Just lay on your back and float Ed Norton / The Honeymooners 1954
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What a wonderful wordsmith you are, a truly crafted piece that inspires emotion to and for the reader, well done you ! Mark
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very cool pic
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the happiness that children bring with their innocence overwhelms the mis-direction in our world. nice photo D
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You are so right about the timing...it is hard but you captured an amazing photo.  It makes me proud of myself, to keep the spirit of Santa alive in kids these days. To see the excitement on their faces when I walk into a room! There is so much commercialism this time of year. We are of Orthodox faith, so we celebrate the Birth of Jesus on January 7th. December 25th, we celebrate Santa Claus Day and my wife's birthday! 
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Wonderful photo McWanna, well worth the wait. I have to ask though if you know what kind of birds they were. And what a lovely bitter-sweet post. Thankyou for sharing. It sounds as though you've moved on a long way, and certainly in the right direction.
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I don't know if any of your viewers seeing this understands how great a pic this really is. I'm totally envious, and wish I could get back into this thing. However, I'll leave it to the dedicated and just keep on being pleased by your work.
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GREAT SHOT – I can well imagine how long it took to get that one! The other day I saw a piece on a guy that photographs the northern lights, and how incredibly difficult that is. So now, of course, I want to try it!  Great piece babe. Thanks for sharing and an early Merry Christmas to you. In Fairness, a Story About a Not so Dumb Blonde Older Smarter, or Just Getting Lazy The Bigger They Are Private Cleavage 1 My Private Blog – Tell me your secrets
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Thanks for sharing that with us. The holidays can be the very best of times, or the very worst of times depending on your situation. Looks like you've had both experiences. I'm glad to hear that you are experiencing the good parts of this season again. I now understand why I always got underwear for Christmas from my Grandmothers. LOL. Same for me. Happy Holidays to you too.
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The G-kids make all the difference now     ---------------------Dennis US ARMY (RETIRED) AND YOUR FRIEND I never mean to offend(blog or comment) anyone ,If I do contact me please. Please check out my blog Harley-Davidson Drive(19harley86)
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I've come a long way. But there is still room for improvement. There is always room for improvement.
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