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Who would have thought I would be kicked out of the family
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Who would have thought I would be kicked out of the family Ok, so I am having a rough time with this. I will give a little bit of detail before I start the reason to what this post is about. I have lived all my life with a mother who is addicted to pain pills. Not the best life growing up. Now don't get me wrong, I had anything/everything I ever wanted. But having to grow up watching that was very traumatic to me. So she has been addicted since I can remember. We have tried to get her help several times, but as we have learned the hard way, the addict has to want help for themselves in order for it to work. Well I have been distancing myself from her because I hate watching her like that, and I hate that my see her that way. Well, on Friday when I went to pick them up, my gave me a card and told me it was from my mother and she said I could not read it until I got home. Wellll, I have opened the card and to my wonderful suprise was a Thank you card, but not just your normal Thank you card.. no no. A special one that on the front it said Thank You and under it, she had written For Nothing!!! Can you believe that. And it gets better, on the inside was a long note she had written. The highlights were "From now on when you call the house you need to speak with your dad, since you care more for him than you do me", and Thanks for telling the that I am a druggie. ( Keep in mind my is 15, and has figured this out on her own ). And although my is only 10 and he doesn't know exactly what is going on, he knows something is wrong. And then she proceeds to tell me that I no longer have a mother that I need to completely forget she was ever my mother. Hmmm how interesting. I was completely shocked and hurt. Well I will tell you for those of you who don't know me, I am a little bit stubborn and hard headed. I ABSOLUTELY will NOT try to fix this. I have not and will not call her. I am completely done with her, and don't know that I want to fix things. So if there ever does come a time that she wants to apologize....... well I am just not sure how that will go over!!! Thanks for listening to me vent. |
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Sweety, as we discussed the other night, know that this is the addiction talking. Your mom, when not suffering from addiction, would not say these things to you. It is hard, though, to separate your feelings for your mom from your feelings from your addicted mom. Be strong and do what is best for you, your husband, and your kids. You will know in your heart what is right. If she is ever able to break this cycle of addiction, you may be able to mend the relationship. If not, you can share your love and life with those of us who truly appreciate you. Know that most of us are only an instant message away.  xox Ann Be sure to check out our group: Naughty and Nice Northside
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dimples I do consider myself to be a very strong woman, but I am really hurt over this. I definately want to keep a relationship with my dad. Thank you for all your positive thoughts and advice.. I greatly appreciate it.. Indywife
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I'm thinking that you're getting off easy, and that your life will be better without trying to buy into her lies just to keep the peace. If she ever gets up the nerve to talk to you, you can just tell her that you call things as you see them, and that she doesn't have to accept your version of events - your thoughts are your own. Meanwhile, I'm sure this has to hurt but you will be better for not allowing a drug-addicted, manipulative personality into your life and that of your children. It doesn't mean that you love her any less, merely that you love yourself and a stable, non-abusive situation more. Take care of yourself, 2Shy I know my life will definately be better without having to deal with all the crap. I think she is too stubborn to ever get up the nerve to talk to me. It does hurt very much. I am a person who has talked to my mother everyday for many many years.. And it is very different to be not speaking to her. Who knows, I just know I cannot help her, she has to help herself. And so far, that has not happened, and I don't expect it to eiher. Thanks for stopping by and offering your support to me.. I greatly appreciate it Indywife
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Kitty You never know we COULD be related.. LOL. Thank you soooo much for all your advice. I definately consider you a friend and someone that has helped me alot. I definately know what you mean about being nice to children.. I think mine will just lock me up somewhere anyway.. LOL. Talk soon Indywife
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You are always so kind. Thank you for endless hours of listening to my shit.. LOL. Indywife
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Sweety, as we discussed the other night, know that this is the addiction talking. Your mom, when not suffering from addiction, would not say these things to you. It is hard, though, to separate your feelings for your mom from your feelings from your addicted mom. Be strong and do what is best for you, your husband, and your kids. You will know in your heart what is right. If she is ever able to break this cycle of addiction, you may be able to mend the relationship. If not, you can share your love and life with those of us who truly appreciate you. Know that most of us are only an instant message away. xox Ann It is hard to seperate those feelings. It is just hard to deal with this all period. Sometimes I don't know what I will do. Sometimes I still almost pick up the phone to call her, not because I really want to talk to her, but out of habit. I am just that used to calling her everyday, so this is all very weird to me. And I can't tell you enough how thankful I am for those of you who are only an instant message away... I don't know what I would do without you guys  .Thanks again as always xoxo Indywife
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