1448 posts 2/7/2017 3:11 pm
Last Read:
2/2/2023 4:27 am
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A voluntary detox
I smoke and I drink. Everything ! Well not everything, tobacco and some weed, and alcohol. For the last week I went in a voluntary detox, nothing to smoke and drink just water. Bear in mind I have been doing the smokes and drinks since the gran old age of 11! We did not have laws about been over 18 when I was erm... 11. And if we did have them, no one was applying them. I don't believe anything has changed. My compatriots are a very hard lot to govern. Here is a story about my people and how they were introduced to...potatoes.
'' After 400 years of Islamic Turkish occupation, Greeks revolted and in 1821 liberated a portion of the Greek empire which eventually became what we now know of as Greece. In 1828, when the first true national government was formed, it was under the direction of Ioannis Kapodistrias, who as “Governor of Greece” was head of the state and the government.
The way Kapodistrias introduced the cultivation of the potato remains famously anecdotal today. Having ordered a shipment of potatoes, at first he ordered that they be offered to anyone interested. However the potatoes were met with indifference by the population and the whole scheme seemed to be failing. Therefore Kapodistrias, knowing of the contemporary Greek attitudes, ( We are still like this, almost 200 years later ) ordered that the whole shipment of potatoes be unloaded in public display on the docks of Nafplion, and placed severe-looking guards guarding it. Soon, rumors circulated that for the potatoes to be so well guarded they had to be of great importance. People would gather to look at the so-important potatoes and soon some tried to steal them. The guards had been ordered in advance to turn a blind eye to such behavior, and soon the potatoes had all been “stolen” and Kapodistrias’ plan to introduce them to Greece had succeeded.
Greek cuisine is filled with potato recipes with perhaps the most common cooking method being drizzled with olive oil, sprinkled with oregano and lemon juice then open roasted.
My detox is coming to an end in a few days and I am happy I done it. Have you ever gone on a voluntary detox, and what was it for?
Want funnies? Oldie goldies, just like me ! Here you go !
THE BEST INDIAN RESTAURANT ALBUM IN THE WORLD...EVER!
DISC ONE:
1. Poppadum Preach - Madonna
2. Korma Chameleon - Culture Club
3. Bhaji Trousers - Madness
4. King Prawn Massala Drinks Are Free - Wham
5. Dansak Queen - Abba
6. Korma People - Pulp
7. Tikka Chance On Me - Abba
8. When I Phall in Love - Nat King Cole
9. You Can't Curry Love - Diana Ross and the Supremes
10. Korma Police - Radiohead
11. Things Can Only Get Bhuna - D:Ream
12. Tears On My Pilau - Kylie Minogue
13. It's Bhuna Hard Days Night - The Beatles
14. Brothers in Naans - Dire Straits
15. Girlfriend in a Korma - The Smiths
16. Pilau Talk - Doris Day
17. It's My Chapati and I Cry If I Want To - Dave Stewart/Barbara Gaskin
DISC TWO:
1. I'm a Bhaji Girl - Aqua
2. Sag Aloo - Black lace
3. Take That and Chapati - Take That
4. Bhuna Round The World and I Can't Find My Bhaji - Lisa Stansfield
5. I Don't Want To Dansak - Eddie Grant
6. Dansak on the Ceiling - Lionel Richie
7. We Are Jalfrezi - Sister Sledge
8. Vindaloo - Abba
9. I Don't Want to Go to Chutney - Elvis Costello
10. Rice Rice Baby - Vanilla Rice
11. Jalfrezi Jalfrezi Nights - Kiss
12. Tandoori Deliver - Adam and the Ants
13. Love me Tandoor - Elvis Presley
14. We Don't Have to Tikka Clothes Off - Jermaine Jackson
15. Bye Bye Balti - Bay City Rollers
16. Bhuna to be Wild - Steppenwolf
17. Livin' Dhal - Cliff Richard
18. Raita Here, Raita Now - Fatboy Slim
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TWO COWS AROUND THE WORLD
START WITH 2 COWS.......
SOCIALISM:
You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRACY:
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then
throws the milk away...
SURREALISM:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica
lessons
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and
the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of
four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads,
because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever
cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have
lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you
have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION:
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for
storing them.
CHINESE CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you
have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and execute the newsman
who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. You worship them.
IRAQI CORPORATION:
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a
Democracy....
WELSH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION:
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go
for a few beers to celebrate
A BRITISH CORPORATION:
You have two cows. The Government says you have to buy a license to milk
them, but first you have to do a risk assessment, which only the government
Quango is allowed to carry out. They charge you 5 times the cost of doing
it. They find that the three legged stool is a risk under health and
safety. You have to buy the EC approved 5 legged stool that is designed to
support a milk maid of up to 250 kilos. It is too heavy to carry. The stool
exceeds EC weight lifting limits for workers by 4 kilos, which just happens
to be the weight of the fifth leg. To shift the stool from one cow to the
other you therefore need a special (EC approved) trolley. The new stool and
trolley are so expensive that you have to mortgage one of the cows to pay
for them and pay for the mandatory training course you must take to get
your licence to milk the cows. You sell your milk to the supermarket chain
that pays you fuck all for it, and then they sell it to their customers for
four times what they payed you. Then they release a press statement about
how wonderful they are to support British Cows. The rest of the world thinks
your cows are mad butyou and your cows know that it is not true and anyway
the rest of the world have no intention of identifying and counting their mad
cows so people in other countries don't know their cows are really, really
barmy do they. You sell your cows to a Polish itinerant worker and your farm
to a Russian 'investment bank' and then you leave to buy a villa by the sea
in a country where it is sunny and the cost of milk is a tenth the cost of milk at home.
They don't have a National Health Service.......but you are so happy and
relaxed your health improves and you live to be a hundred.
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 3:12 pm |
Makes me want some roasted potatoes with olive oil, lemon and oregano!
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1953 posts 2/7/2017 3:34 pm |
hmm..no scenario for 2 cows in Greece...
woop woop
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 3:54 pm |
Hey mufdiver, welcome. Oops, well spotted. You welcome to make something up! How about....You have 2 cows, one of them has a moustache, and the bull is now confused!
Thanx for reading and commenting.
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114 posts 2/7/2017 4:01 pm |
I don't drink much .My biggest vice is chocolate and coffee.lolI did however like your potato story
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 4:21 pm |
Quoting sasha3676:
I don't drink much .My biggest vice is chocolate and coffee.lolI did however like your potato story
Hi sasha, welcome to my blog and thanx for the comment. Ah, the potato story, this is us Greeks , to date! Very difficult to govern, indeed. You know, chocolate and shopping therapy are not just for women. I was recently reading this story about a pill for heart disease, I think, made completely out of chocolate. My fav chocolate is the really bitter one, I think they call it cooking chocolate, as it is very high on cocoa. When I buy it at the shops, they have the special editions, like 60% cocoa or 80% and I am wondering when someone will make the 99%. Same for coffee. Hot lava java is number 6 on the strength. I want number 8 !!!
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 4:33 pm |
Quoting dayhiker2:
Very well stated, sounds very familiar.
Hey dayhiker, welcome. Do you know any difficult people, or even any cows with moustaches?
Reminds me of that joke about a guy giving away his fridge. He put it out on the road, with a sign reading: Fridge for free. Fully working. Days later the fridge was still out there. So he changed the sign to: Fridge for sale 100 bucks. That night the fridge was stolen !!! Thanx for reading and your comment.
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37235 posts 2/7/2017 5:12 pm |
Your humor totally blows me away!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing the cows
(Virtual Symposium Group) use Virtual Symposium Group
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418 posts 2/7/2017 5:23 pm |
Are you feeling better?
Its only a dream away ..... Come and say hello
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 5:26 pm |
Quoting pocogato12:
Your humor totally blows me away!!!!!!!!! Thanks for sharing the cows
Hey pocogato. Thank you too! Glad you enjoy them. The jokes are from a friend who always thinks of me. I known this lady for 17 years, and never met her. She is a nurse and now living down under. I loved nurses even more after meeting her, online. I never seen her face, but she is a lovely girl. This one though, is totaly mine, Joe Public strikes again I even surprise myself some times. Have a read and see what ya think ! Thanx for visiting.
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 5:43 pm |
Quoting ItsJulie:
Are you feeling better?
Hi itsjullie, and thanx for visiting. Am I feeling better? Oh yeah baby! Does it show ? After having some bad time lately, work related, the lack of it really, of course the wheel turns, and I am now having the luck instead. Like the old saying...if you never experience feeling really thirsty, you will never appreciate a cold glass of water. Same with everything else, feeling loved or not, hot or cold,etc.
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4077 posts 2/7/2017 5:48 pm |
Quoting Sorrynomail:
I'm partial to the Italian Corporation model...lol...feels more civilized somehow.
Hi sorrynomail and welcome. I quite agree with you. Thinking of a nice italian lunch in the yard, under the olive trees....you got me travelling now ! Thanx for reading and commenting.
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32404 posts 2/8/2017 11:48 am |
I like the cows.
I must send it to a friend who teaches civics.....
You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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4077 posts 2/8/2017 2:58 pm |
Hi wickedeasy. Send it to whom you like. I wonder if he/she will make a lesson of it, after they wipe themself from the pee. Add the Greek corporation too, further down on the comments. It is a very old one, but works all the time, even for me after reading it so many times. I am really glad you and most who come in here enjoyed it. Make anyone laugh is a good thing. Therapy for me, the giving and the receiving. Thanx for the visit.
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2/10/2017 8:58 pm
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sounds interesting
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4077 posts 2/11/2017 4:18 am |
Hey, SDCream,thanx for the visit and comment.
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