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The Things That Make You Come
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The Things That Make You Come Fuck me, I had just clicked on "post" when I remembered. Okay - here is a serious question for you. I have said before that I think people fall into two main groups - those who can like sex for its simple physical pleasure, and those for whom it is a more of a means to an emotional relationship. But that doesn't explain the mysteries of why one person can make you come really easily, whereas for another it can be harder. Also, do we learn how to come more easily as we get older, as we become more aware of our own triggers, or it is that experience teaches us how better to direct our partners physically? When a guy makes you come, or it could be a girl of course if you are a guy, or then it could be a guy as well, or it could be a girl if you are a girl too, but....hang on a minute...you know what I mean anyway - when you are having sex and someone makes you come, or helps you to come as I like to think of it - How much is it to do with what they physically do to you - how they use their bodies, how they touch you, how sensitive they are to what you want them to do, and how much is it to do with how they manage to get you to let yourself go and respond, what they look or smell or sound like, how you feel about them? How much is it their ability to touch you in just the right way, and to be aware of your responses and act accordingly, and how much is it a question of how relaxed you feel being with them, the connection between you, how much you feel free sexually? Does this vary for you from partner to partner, or do you usually react in the same way? In other words does how easily you come depend on the physical skill of your lover, or does it depend on the thoughts and feelings that particular lover generates within you yourself? |
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I believe it to be the latter. Or a combination of both.
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exactly what Cougar said... without a connection and trust.. nothing happens. Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi  ..
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I am going to agree to disagree with everyone, based on your actual question. Being a multi-orgasmic squirter, I can come with just about anyone. Unless I have been up for 24+ hours and had little water, it doesn't require much effort. Now if we are talking about true sexual satisfaction and taking it above the basic "cumming" scenario, then it absolutely requires trust, technique and the mental connection to make is all work in concert. That is when Red is happiest. The casual fuck is moot even if it does get me off physically. Just my two cents . . . . . If I have stopped by your blog, please be sure to sign my permission slip Pimp Me, Pimp My Blog, But Let Me Do The Same With You  
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I am going to agree to disagree with everyone, based on your actual question. Being a multi-orgasmic squirter, I can come with just about anyone. Unless I have been up for 24+ hours and had little water, it doesn't require much effort. Now if we are talking about true sexual satisfaction and taking it above the basic "cumming" scenario, then it absolutely requires trust, technique and the mental connection to make is all work in concert. That is when Red is happiest. The casual fuck is moot even if it does get me off physically. Just my two cents . . . . . But my real question is: is this ease with which you can get off something you had to learn or did it come naturally right from your earliest sexual experiences? I have heard some women say that it can become easier to get off as you become more experienced and understand your own responses better.
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I believe it to be the latter. Or a combination of both.
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So really it comes more from within you, based on how you feel with him, than it does from his actions?
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Trust is the key for you Sassi, noted.
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I was taking hygeine for granted F4! So you are connecting with someone who is concerned about your physical pleasure are you? Sounds delightful!
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Thatnks Red, very interesting. And I was asking about simple orgasm, not all out satisfaction - you know I am a firm beleiver that mental connection is vital on that front. But my real question is: is this ease with which you can get off something you had to learn or did it come naturally right from your earliest sexual experiences? I have heard some women say that it can become easier to get off as you become more experienced and understand your own responses better. If I have stopped by your blog, please be sure to sign my permission slip Pimp Me, Pimp My Blog, But Let Me Do The Same With You
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11/5/2010 1:01 am |
Foreplay and Seduction....Those are key, if I am not mentally and physically ready, I don't come, sadly I have faked it alot because it seems so much work to make me cum that men don't have the patience or understanding, its not their fault most times, I am too embarrassed to let a man try and bring me, I get scared that they will lose interest so to make them happy I fake it, I have had men fake it too so I am not the only guilty one. Trust is a big one, but there are times where I am so wound up I don't care what happens to them as long as I get off, I call that "Selfish Me" because when I go so long without an orgasm during sex I get pissed and just turn a bit cold....Man I am screwed up LMAO...
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I think I can understand your feelings on the subject - my own are quite similar I think, and "I can't open up to all that sensory input without being vulnerable," that's extremely well put.
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The first time I had sex I orgasmed and I squirted. It scared the living hell out of the then 16 year old me as I had no idea what was happening. Luckily I had a partner who knew exactly what was happening so he was able to take away my fear which allowed me to enjoy my body's response to sex. So, to answer your question, for me it was never a learned response. It is part of my natural makeup as a woman.
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Foreplay and Seduction....Those are key, if I am not mentally and physically ready, I don't come, sadly I have faked it alot because it seems so much work to make me cum that men don't have the patience or understanding, its not their fault most times, I am too embarrassed to let a man try and bring me, I get scared that they will lose interest so to make them happy I fake it, I have had men fake it too so I am not the only guilty one. Trust is a big one, but there are times where I am so wound up I don't care what happens to them as long as I get off, I call that "Selfish Me" because when I go so long without an orgasm during sex I get pissed and just turn a bit cold....Man I am screwed up LMAO... But as writingmyselfwell so aptly put it you "can't open up to all that sensory input without being vulnerable," which is a problem if you already feel vulnerable and don't want to take the risk of getting hurt. Plus as someone else explained to me not long ago, the idea that a guy has to work hard to get you off can put so much pressure on you to come - that doesn't help you either, I bet. Can I just say I like the way you used the expression ""to let a man try and bring me." Bring me sounds so sexy to me, I don't know why.
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That seems to be how most women feel about it in one way or another.
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11/8/2010 10:03 am |
I can understand the reasons for faking it - it did it once myself, but never again, it goes against the grain for me, and of course it prevents someone who would take the time from learning what you like best and need. But as writingmyselfwell so aptly put it you "can't open up to all that sensory input without being vulnerable," which is a problem if you already feel vulnerable and don't want to take the risk of getting hurt. Plus as someone else explained to me not long ago, the idea that a guy has to work hard to get you off can put so much pressure on you to come - that doesn't help you either, I bet. Can I just say I like the way you used the expression ""to let a man try and bring me." Bring me sounds so sexy to me, I don't know why. We should all give Dreamer sexy kisses and do naughty things to his yummy body 
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I like the term "bring me", it just rolls off the toungue when explaining something like that, its just sounds less harsh then letting a guy try to make me cum...lol its a bit of a mouthful....Hmmm mouthful....okay got distracted for a moment...By the Way HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!!!! We should all give Dreamer sexy kisses and do naughty things to his yummy body
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You mean you only come easily when you don't have feelings for him? You are weird. In a nice way, but weird.
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Weird, like I said.
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