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| Blogs > PurplePeach72 > No Ordinary Girl! |
Love on a Sex Site Revisited
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Love on a Sex Site Revisited Love On A Sex Site? Yes It’s Possible. Late November 2010 I was searching the matches on this wonderful sex site for new FWBs. Sgt. Sugar was about to ship out, I had finally gotten MM out of my bed for good and I wanted to have someone new to play with. I had been separated since March of 2010 and enjoying my time as a single mom. Yes, I actually enjoy being alone, just taking care of my kiddo and animals. I was riding my horses on a regular basis and actually getting to spend time with my family back here in Ga. Bi-women continued to be the mythical unicorns they are named but I did have a few couples I played with from time to time. The man search, even for a good fuck buddy was woefully lacking. There were liars, cheats, stand-ups, a couple of genuine misunderstandings and more lying cheaters. I was not looking for forever, just some good cock and conversation with a decent person. As I scrolled through the matches a lean body with a patch or 2 of red hair caught my eye. The huge cock was a bit scary but I theorized that it was just the camera angle or photo shop that made it look that big. Tall lean men aren’t generally my type but red heads are rare and his profile was funny and smart so I decided to send him an e-mail. I really wish I still had our initial couple of email exchanges. I would love to have them and reread them now. My 1st email to him was a few short sentences and my profile attached. His reply was 2 pages and several pictures. We emailed, chatted and IM’d for a couple of weeks before our schedules gelled enough for us to actually meet a few days before Christmas. We were both instantly smitten. We spent 3 days together working on a house he was trying to sell and getting to know each other quite well. We marveled at how two people from totally different backgrounds could be so alike and have so much in common. We were both fighting the inevitable attraction and love that was building. Neither of us believed there was any kind of future and we didn’t want to get hurt or hurt the other. We had some amazing times together but tried to keep each other at arm’s length as FWBs. We went on this way until Feb. A crisis on his part made me accept how deeply I felt for him and how special he was to me. For him it was a wake-up call, that I really was his friend no matter what. I love him for who he is and would not judge him. I wasn’t asking him for anything other than friendship, honesty and to enjoy the time we had together. Things started to change rapidly after that. I was totally honest about my feelings for him but I also convinced myself that I was not the woman he needed or wanted long term. I was just going to enjoy the happiness and love I had with him. I knew that no matter how long or short my time with him was it was going to be the love of my lifetime. It took him many months to change my mind and make me believe that we could have a future together. We’ve shared some amazing adventures, from scuba diving in the keys, beers in Belgium to driving the Connor Pass in Dingle Ireland. Along the way we just keep discovering how much we have in common. Our trip to Ireland in July was when we decided we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. There was just no way to turn our backs on this incredible gift of love we’ve been given. We are perfect for each other and we complement each other in every way. We both know there isn’t a soul in this world who could love the other more than we do. He moved in when we got back and we kept working out the details of how we would make this work. We actually have a relationship plan written out that we will review at each anniversary. Everything in our relationship has been easy for us or at least it has seemed easy. We’ve spent more time together in the last year than some people spend in a lifetime. Life has handed us some hard times: his mom passed away tragically in October, we just lost a baby and he’ll be leaving soon for a year away for work. We have a few more adventures before we are separated for a while. We’re getting married in April and I’m traveling to Europe with him again for a few weeks in May. Hopefully, we’ll be able to try for another baby. I’d like to give him his 1st for Valentine’s Day next year when he comes home. I’ve never been happier or more content in my entire life. I never imagined that love could be so deep and wonderful. I have no doubt that our love story will continue for many years to come. No doubt I’ll be writing here, blogging about it. For all those that believe this is just a sex site, I have to disagree. I have made some of my very best friends here and found the love of my life. Kindred souls will always find each other no matter where they are. Sometimes that love is for a good friend, someone who is going through something you’ve been through or someone you’ll spend the rest of your life with, we just don’t ever know what life will hand us. Take what it gives you and make the most of it. Happy Valentine’s Day 2012! Love, L Post Valentine’s Day 2015 It has been 3 years since I wrote the blog post above on the sex site where I met my husband. Our relationship started in an open way with each of us free to enjoy sex with others. Of course we had rules and guidelines but we worked through things as our relationship grew and changed. We got married in April 2012. He left for a year of work half a world away a week later. Two weeks after we married I was able to come to Italy with him for almost a month to pick out our house and have a honeymoon before work took him for a year. I went back to Ga while he worked for that year. It was a hard year for us both but we did a great job of keeping in touch and staying connected. For him staying emotionally connected was hard because his normal pattern when working was to totally disconnect from “home”. It always made his job easier to flip the robot switch, get the job done and then come home. I was really proud of him and us for working through that year and coming out stronger and more in love than we started. While he was gone for work I had a few GF’s that I also had sex with and a couple of BF’s that were mostly sexual but I certainly cared about them. He asked for and I gladly gave him lots of proof to assure him that he was not being replaced or superceded. While he was away for work we had some issues to work through. He admitted to not being honest with me about some sexual encounters prior to leaving. He was afraid of my not truly being willing to walk the walk. We worked our issues and seemed to come out stronger for the work, effort and love we put into our marriage. He came back the following April moved the Great Dane and parrot to Italy in May while I finished packing up our life in Ga. Living in Italy has been quite an adjustment for us both. We knew we’d have to put our alternative lifestyle on hold while living here because the American community is so small and close knit that he felt it would be too much of a risk for his career. I lost my support network of family and friends that were open minded enough for me to talk about my bisexuality, being poly, our swinging and lifestyle choices. I tried to tap into the local native GLBT community but it is so small and closeted that the language barrier made it impossible. I did eventually make a couple of friends who were open minded enough to at least have someone to talk to when I was upset or in need of a friend but the isolation has been and continues to be a challenge. Despite what people think most Italians do not speak English. There is a decided language barrier and huge cultural differences. Within a few months of moving here I noticed an emotional disconnect between us that had never been there before. I would point it out and we would try to discover the cause, work towards fixing it and it would seem better for a while then come back. The causes ranged from his dissatisfaction at work, the pressures of trying to conceive, multiple miscarriages, the lack of outside stimulation because we were no longer in the lifestyle, his being gone more often than we expected, my lack of work here, having my with us full time instead of the original half time in the states, less ability to be spontaneous and on and on. Our relationship seemed to have plateaued and there wasn’t much I could do about it without him wanting it to change too. He thought he’d be doing a fairly regular desk job for the 2-3 years we’re here for. We expected to have lots of time to explore and enjoy each other and Europe together but that was far from the way it worked out. We’ve been here 2 years this May and he’s been gone for work for more than half of that. He’s never been gone for a year at a time like right after we were married but weeks and months sometimes with little notice that he’s leaving. We’ve tried very hard to travel as much as we can together and I often take trips with friends of just my . Being able to travel Europe is something I will always cherish. It has been the experience of a lifetime. We have another year here but he will again be away for work. This time away for the entire year. We’re hoping since he’ll be fairly close that he will be able to come home some for vacations and holidays but it is also possible that this could be another year entirely apart and separated. Last Valentine’s Day he planned a romantic trip to Portugal for us. We slept in a castle tower, hiked ancient fortresses and spent a full week just loving each other and enjoying the thrill of discovering a new place. We’ve lost 4 babies in the 2 years we’ve been here. With his being gone all the time for work the timing to get pregnant at all is hard but we’ve managed. Each time between 6-10 weeks we lose the baby. The pressure of sex required on certain days and becoming a chore instead of a joy certainly took its toll on our sex life. I’ve gone through more batteries in my sex toys in the last 2 years than I have in the rest of my life combined. Last fall we agreed to set some goals to work towards making our marriage and sex life more exciting and fulfilling. I felt like we were making slow progress with our small steps. This Valentine’s Day I made us reservations at a lovely little Italian place tucked into the Dolomite mountains but it was obvious his heart wasn’t in it. He had been distracted and snippy for over a month. The conversation over dinner ended with his snide comment that I should just get it over with and read his emails. I told him I would but not when he wanted but on my own time. His invite to read his emails between him and a woman I thought was just a friend explained why his heart wasn’t in us. He was in love with someone else and had hid it from me for almost a year. My very first posts here were about this in detail so I won’t go through it all again. We’re trying to make it work for everyone but especially for us. He’s trying hard to repair the trust he crushed with his choices over the last several months. It will take a lot of time to see how this all plays out. I’m struggling to shift my paradigm of our relationship from the foundation it was built on of complete openness, honesty, loyalty, trust and love just between us to including other people we love while rebuilding the cracks in our foundation. The accepted parameters of my bi-sexuality, being poly, both of us enjoying the swinging lifestyle to him embracing the idea that he is also poly, still straight and still wanting to be in the swinging lifestyle when we’re able. I’m struggling to understand, accept and move past the betrayal of him not being honest with me as he made the poly discovery. His blatant and repeated lies and deliberate omissions to hide what he was doing. I am having trouble reconciling that behavior with the man I’ve thought I was married to for 3 years. My struggle is not with him being poly it is with the betrayal and having to integrate someone new into our lives while we are fixing this crack in our relationship’s foundation. I’m not trying to say I don’t have issues to work through with him being poly. I certainly do but they would have been much easier to handle if they were not given to me with a plate of deceit. It is doubly hard to decipher whether the jealousy and fear I’m feeling are due to the new idea and accepting him being poly or from the new person introduced in lies. I’m trying. I’m doing my best and I’m working on me. I’ve put some safety nets in place for myself as we move forward. I’m doing all I can to trust that our relationship is still solid. I have to trust that he’s doing all he can too. That’s all I can do. That and wait to see how his actions match up to his words. Also how his GF’s actions do or don’t match up to hers. Right now she is the great unknown and that scares me. So that is where I’m at. Waiting and wondering how this new chapter will change my life. Determined to keep loving him and making it work.  Kisses, LA    |
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Very sexy photo. Kisses
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GOOD
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3/13/2015 12:12 pm |
I think that your Viking is quite lucky in you, Peach.
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Gosh, that was a whole lot to swallow. lol I was always curious why it is you two became non-lifestyle when married... Thoughts from the Garden...
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3/9/2015 9:19 pm |
I do wish you and Viking the best. Hugs!
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Hope all goes well for you!!..and you have sexy body!!
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